I dont know if I did the right thing

[Michael2]

I have been avoiding my ex's calls for the past month.

 

Well she cornered me today, and called me at work.

 

We spoke, I told her that I couldnt ever speak with her again. I told her if she kept calling me that I would change my number. She said why can't we talk once a month. I asked her what the point was. She then began to cry, and tell me she loves me and that she needs me in her life. She asked how I could completely forget about what we had, and why we cant be friends. I told her I didnt see the point and that we are both moving on. I asked her why she wanted to talk even though she had a boyfriend. She said she valued our friendship and that she missed me and wanted to hug me. How confusing is this. I said please do not call, or write me, as I see there is no point and that I am trying to heal. She cried even harder and hung up the phone on me.

 

She said I had changed and she couldnt believe I was being the way I was. She questioned why I didnt care about how she was doing, she said she could be dead and I wouldnt even know. I think she is trying to make me feel guilty and uncaring.

 

Please tell me I did the right thing. I feel bad that she is upset, but what am I suppose to do????

[Auriqua]

Hi Michael,

 

I can understand your reaction. Personally, I always avoided my exes as much as I could. But, you have to realise there are times that you could meet her unexpected.

 

You were very clear to her and that is a good thing. I do not know if she is really doing this to be 'just' friends or to create an opportunity to get back together. As I read your post, you do not want her back.

 

IMHO, there is not much you can do.. This are HER feelings that she tries to project to you. It all seems to me as 'emotional blackmailing'.

 

I think you did the right thing.

[LastImpression]

She has a boyfriend.

[Mar]

I think you did the right thing. I'm not sure who broke up with who, but regardless, it's only been a month and you have to take care of yourself in whatever means you see fit. A month isn't enough time to get over someone and be able to talk to them honestly without all the emotions and old feelings surging back up and smothering you again. If she's clinging, I'd imagine she's having selective memory and forgetting the reasons you broke up and only looking back on the more nostalgic moments, as we all tend to do in a breakup. Amazing how the memory sugarcoats the bad moments!

 

Take care of yourself. If she's found someone new already, she rebounded and has NO reason to accuse you of changing or not caring, and I'm quite sure she hasn't taken that into consideration. A month is rather soon to be dating someone steadily; I certainly couldn't heal that quickly!

 

You did fine. Relax and chalk it up to her being insecure, or missing you, or testing the waters on getting back together with you, whatever. But stick to your guns. If she's that into her new guy, she has no business contacting her ex regardless, and I'm quite sure the new guy wouldn't be happy if he knew! But don't beat yourself up, do what you need to to move on.

 

Mar

[DestructoBoy]

Damn Michael2!!

 

This is plain craziness! She has a boyfriend and calls you saying these things? I'm going to say it again.......I believe he's not giving her the attention you once did. And she wants trusty "brother-man" around to fill her needs and be her security blanket.

 

I have no idea why she would call you saying those things? Well, as usual, you're handling this like a champ!

 

I spoke w/my ex for an hour last night (she called)! DestructoBoy prevailed!! I plan on posting about it later when I get out of work and school.

 

As for you my friend, I'm at a complete loss as to why she would be acting this way while she is with someone else. And I know it's not easy knowing she is w/someone. (same situation, as you know)

 

Keep avoiding her calls if you can and remember how bad you felt when the relationship ended....that should help ease your conscience about hurting her now

 

Brothers in Pain my friend!!

[jclaam]

Hey Michael2,

 

I know you are doubting yourself whether you did the right thing by avoiding her calls and telling her that you don't want to talk to her anymore. Bottomline is that she has boyfriend already. I don't know while she is doing all this to you. Maybe she realizing that she may have lost something great and that would be you. Now she wants it back or she just toying with your emotions and want to see how you would react to it. If we really understand how women really think then would all be trillionare's. I don't even know where to begin or how to begin to tell you while she is acting this way. You made a pretty strong point that you don't want her back in your life, am I right? I think you did the right thing, my brother. I know it sucks, but hang in there. I think you should still continue with the no contact and let yourself heal. Let us know how it goes alright. Hang in there!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

 

jclaam

 

"God grant me the serenity to accpet the things I cannot chnage. The courage to change the things I can. And the wisdom to know the difference."