Two years... lots of fighting.. just a break?

[dmb1102]

Hey all, I'm a new user, and I need some help

 

2 days ago, my girlfriend of 2 years had decided to leave me. We have been fighting about a lot of stupid stuff for awhile, and a lot of it was my fault. We've been separated because I'm at home and she's at school, so it's that much harder to deal with it all. I kept trying to make things better, even though things were just fine the way they were. Anyway, she tells me she wants her freedom to have fun. I asked if we were completely done, or if this was just a break. She told me a break, and told me that she didn't really want to see/talk to me for awhile. I asked if there was someone else, or if she wanted to see other people, and she said no. At the end of the conversation, we were both pretty upset and she told me she'd talk to me soon.

I've had this knot in my stomach since it happened, and I can't handle this. I need some advice. I had the ideas of writing her a letter, letting her know that I wanted to fix our problems and work at the relationship slowly.. I want to send her flowers, and I really want to talk to her. But I'm respecting the fact that she wants her space. I need all the help I can get.. I'm dyin here.. any ideas??

I know this is probably the 9 millionth thread like this, but I still need some help! Thanks

[rich_1517]

The i want to have fun is your clue. talking about the relationship is not fun. Try to let go a little, meditiate, excercise, go walk, hang out with friends. get your brain out of hock, you have to be focused and clear to make good decisions. start healing a little from the pain and then deal with the problem.

 

If i got that speach i would be scared too. She is sending mixed signals here but i would back off a little if you can. figure out what you want then make a plan. See "no contact" rules on this site, its hard ive been doing it but it does work. but there are no guarantees, if you really did make some mistakes (not owning everything to get her back) then fess up, when its time. (when she talks about the relationship you dont bring it up again, period, she needs to miss you and question)

 

If you are too needy she will go further away.

 

But for now it looks like you have to respect her wishes for space and get you back in shape, do you want her to see or talk to someone who is all busted up or confident. Go bleed on your friends not her. Again see "No contact" rules or getting her back.

 

Hang in there

[DealingWithIt]

ive been in your situation before, he was away at school while im at home. one day out of the blue, he asked for a break and not knowing what that meant, i asked if there was someone else..and he said no. i naturally believed him and gave him the space that he needed while my heart ached so much for things to be better between us. one of the reasons i gave in was that he was also having some problems. anyways, a year later, i found out that he's been seeing another girl behind my back. the funny thing is that now he's been trying to get in touch with me again since i heard that he's now having problems with this girl...

 

the lesson here is no matter how much you're hurting, if your gf wants to be free...let her! believe me, if you keep on hounding her to keep your relationship together and not give her that "freedom", you'll only push her away. i know reading this will only hurt you but i've been in your shoes before...

[amilasiu]

do not send flowers - they will only irritate. but send one letter saying what you'd like to happen with your relationship. After that let her contact you.

[gracee]

i hope my reply is not yet late, i have been in that situtation (in the girl's place) i don't know but maybe she just slowly feel the "falling out of love" maybe bec. of non-stop petty quarrels....in my case, i found another man, but in your case i strongly believed that she wanted to be free to have some relaxation just like whta you needed too...let her go and if she comes bak then maybe it is when you can work things out..don't forced her now..just give her time...

[bluemudder]

This sounds a lot like my relationship. She just ended it a week and a half ago but we went through the same thing you did with being away from each other and arguing a lot. The best thing you can do is to not contact her and let her be the one to initiate the contact. My first break up with my ex...i wrote a letter explaining my stance on the situation and how i still felt....somewhat just remembering past experiences and making her realize what a strong bond we had. She read the letter and about 2 weeks later we started to talk and date again......we lasted one year and i find out that someone else is on the side now. Just hang in there and try to stay busy. Everything will work out in the end. I am in the same boat...i want my girl back so bad....but she lied and I cant get by that. Good Luck!