Still hurt... and kinda feeling numb...

[koreangelxp]

So... okay heres the deal... my bf and i have been together a little pas 2 1/2 years... and like for the past 3 weeks... he hasnt been cleaning his apt.

 

 

we talked about this before... and how he doesnt clean...dirty dishes.. clothes all over the floor... beer bottles everywhere... mail all over the place... clean clothes still in the dryer... its pretty bad... but i talked to him about it and said that he needs to clean up after himself... cuz i shouldnt have to clean everytime i come over... its annoying....

 

So i told him yesterday about him not cleaning... and how i feel uncomfy about coming over to his place and i feel the need to have to clean up after him when i come over.

 

He got mad at me a said " well when are you going to get a job? and be able to pay your own bills so u dont need help?"

 

Now... i have like 12 different applications out right now... i have been looking for a job... but a lot of places are on hiring freezes.... but im still looking and doing the best that i can... im so depressed right now cuz ive been doing the best that i can to the fullest of what i can possible do...

 

Im so hurt that he said this... and i can understand why he said it cuz he was mad or whatever... but why on earth would a person who loves you say something so mean to the point where you feel like a burden, and your not good enough for anything or anyone?

[DN]

Has he been helping you financially while you are unemployed?

[redhearts]

Have you tried the mall, or seasonal jobs? He may be depressed, a sign of that is being quite messy.

[Daligal83]

He might be taking your comments just as you took his. By saying that you feel the need to clean whenever you go over, it could make him feel like a burden and less than worthy. I think he was hurt and was striking back where it would hurt you. Not that it's OK to do that, he should just tell you that it's upsetting him. It can be hard to do for some people though.

 

He also might be frustrated if he's working really hard and also supporting you, then you come over complaining that things aren't clean enough. Again, doesn't make it OK to strike out at you, but it helps to understand where he may be coming from. Then you can sit down and have a conversation saying, what you said hurt me but if there is something that you are upset at me about, I hope you'd talk to me about it instead of insulting me.