Mending 08 Posted October 17, 2008 Share Posted October 17, 2008 I notice the majority of posts in GBT threads are from guys..and doing NC.. and this is not to say it's specifically men but it just seems that men tend to want their ex'es back more intensely than the women do. I am curious if NC is simply more effective on a mans psyche than a womans? I have had limited contact with my ex and he seems to sniff around when I pull away a lot more. We broke up because he didn;t want to "commit" completely and he took me for granted. he just seems to want me because he can't have me anymore, so I leery of his motivations. Thus...making me do NC harder at times. Link to comment
My Advice Posted October 17, 2008 Share Posted October 17, 2008 women on average don't love as much or as intensely as men do. When our wives die, we die. When a husband dies, the wife thinks, well he hasn't been able to get it up since he turned sixty anyway. Statisidcally it is true. Men love more and longer than women. We are a sensitive romantic bunch. Edited after: The above stated was a joke. lol I don't really believe that. Link to comment
DN Posted October 17, 2008 Share Posted October 17, 2008 I don't think that this is a gender-specific response to a break-up - it all depends on the individual. Link to comment
Mending 08 Posted October 17, 2008 Author Share Posted October 17, 2008 Thanks advice, I guess my only issue with that is why don't men show it until it's TOO late??? I wish he would have been as attentive when he was WITH me than when I started moving on. Again, I know this isn't just a GUY thing. I think it's more about control than gender. Link to comment
Crazyaboutdogs Posted October 17, 2008 Share Posted October 17, 2008 women on average don't love as much or as intensely as men do. When our wives die, we die. When a husband dies, the wife thinks, well he hasn't been able to get it up since he turned sixty anyway. Statisidcally it is true. Men love more and longer than women. We are a sensitive romantic bunch. I guess that must explain why so many men immediately start dating other women and get married within a year after their spouse dies! Link to comment
Mending 08 Posted October 17, 2008 Author Share Posted October 17, 2008 Or maybe men are just more afraid of being alone than women? Link to comment
DN Posted October 17, 2008 Share Posted October 17, 2008 I think that if your ex is showing some interest then you woud be wise to find out why. BTW - let's not turn this into a gender debate. It won't serve you and may distract you from your own individual circumstances. Link to comment
My Advice Posted October 17, 2008 Share Posted October 17, 2008 mending Honestly e notalone is not a good example of men women relationships. The men who are willing to go to a notalone site and talk about their problems are generally more in tune to emotional thinking to begin with. When a few guy friends saw the title of this website they couldn't stop laughing that I type on here, which is okay cuz they don't know my user name and I can still kick their *** anyway. Men don't talk about their problems. It is seen as self pitying or effiminate, so it makes it harder for them to deal with them in some regards. Link to comment
Clementine orange Posted October 17, 2008 Share Posted October 17, 2008 ^^^^^^ This is totally true. Link to comment
Mending 08 Posted October 17, 2008 Author Share Posted October 17, 2008 Thanks guys. I hope no one thinks I am targeting men only. I know we ALL deal with things in our own way. Maybe I should have posed the question differently, but My Advice you have a point in what you said. I know most guys wouldn't admit to posting for advice on a website and if they did it probably took a lot of time for them to do it. I would like to think my ex IS coming back around for sincere reasons and not just because he no longer controls what happens with us. Link to comment
JadedStar Posted October 17, 2008 Share Posted October 17, 2008 NC is good for people who are healing, regardless of their gender. Link to comment
coldplay. Posted October 17, 2008 Share Posted October 17, 2008 I for one feel that im a 'lover' i hate being single, i dont date people that i only moderately like, i dont have short lived relationships. And hell i love coldplay, what more need be said? but im sure there are girls the exact same way i am. Link to comment
Mending 08 Posted October 17, 2008 Author Share Posted October 17, 2008 And coldplay you are a cutie.I doubt you'll have a problem meeting someone very nice Link to comment
Raistlin Posted October 17, 2008 Share Posted October 17, 2008 I'm not afraid to admit that I come to this site. I've told almost everyone I know that when I need to vent and they don't want to hear it anymore, I come here to blow some steam lol Link to comment
coldplay. Posted October 17, 2008 Share Posted October 17, 2008 Actually i believe ive been more helped here than at my counselor, simply due to the fact that i can come here when it really matters, not just 10am on Wednesdays hah. Link to comment
spion_kop Posted October 18, 2008 Share Posted October 18, 2008 From what I have seen, when a man really loves a woman..he loves her more than she does. I've seen this happen with my friends. Intially it's the women doing the chasing but when love is in the air, the guys just seem to fall hard for the women. It's just an observation, it's not somthing that may be true elsewhere. Link to comment
coldplay. Posted October 18, 2008 Share Posted October 18, 2008 My most recent relationship was strange like that, she chased me for a couple months and i wasnt "into her" all that much, then to save u all from a long story, some things happened and i fell in love with her. Though i think we loved each other equally. Link to comment
babes23 Posted October 18, 2008 Share Posted October 18, 2008 I don't think it as anything to do with gender at all, it totally depends on the individual. As you can see from this site alone, both men and women do the no contact, totally depends on the person. Link to comment
Mock Chop Posted October 18, 2008 Share Posted October 18, 2008 How do you measure or quantify depth of 'love' though? How can you possibly say one loves more than the other? Sure where there's a break up that isn't mutual, you can say that one loved more than the other, but to apply that theory to ongoing relationships just doesn't work. It's impossible to be objective about it, surely? Link to comment
DN Posted October 18, 2008 Share Posted October 18, 2008 .. Of course not. It is never 100% mutual. Someone is ALWAYS just a bit more emotionally invested than the other, sometimes it is a lot. But it is never 100% equal. How do you know this? Link to comment
HereIGoAgain Posted October 18, 2008 Share Posted October 18, 2008 There's another member on here who has posted in the past on relationships and how one person in the relationship puts in more or loves more than the other. I don't remember the member's name but the phenonemon they mentioned is called the 'Passion Paradox' (link removed) which explains this. Could be something to it or maybe not. Link to comment
My Advice Posted November 7, 2008 Share Posted November 7, 2008 women on average don't love as much or as intensely as men do. When our wives die, we die. When a husband dies, the wife thinks, well he hasn't been able to get it up since he turned sixty anyway. Statisidcally it is true. Men love more and longer than women. We are a sensitive romantic bunch. Oh that was a joke. I think women love just as much as men. Link to comment
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