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capblueberry

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So me and my girlfriend have been dating roughly 2 months or so and she makes me feel awesome the time i put all my trust in her (which is rare for me) and honestly would believe everything she said (within reason)

 

well today she went and got in the shower and she left up her myspace with the inbox open...i get on the computer and notice this. she had had previous problems with her ex recently and there was a message from him.

 

i did what i shouldn't have done and opened it. it was discussing a party on friday night in which my gf, sharon, was going to and planning on getting drunk. something she and i both know i dont like or approve of. not only that he asks her if she is gonna give him "any" there. her response was "depends on how %$#@ed up i get". she had already told me that friday night she was going to her friends house to watch movies and have girls night and i really believed her.

 

having seen this i get curious bout what else she was hiding from me, i find another message from her friend talking about sitting around and getting high after her classes, a time when i am working and cant see her. something else i cant stand.

 

what should i do, i dont feel like i will never fully be able to trust her like i did. i talked to her and she knows she messed up but i still feel horrible. what should i do?

 

i promised myself after my last relationship, that the next one wouldn't involve, drugs, smoking, or alcohol. as these things mess things up for me, as im only 19...

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Well it seems she was planning on cheating or at least considering it. And she's only sorry because she was caught. She didn't 'mess up' - she made a decision. Same as her decisions about drugs. I would move on - it seems you aren't on the same page.

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I had the same thing, (myspace = relationship killer) found her planning on cheating and saying she wasn't in a real relationship. At least your girl admitted to it, my yelled at me for snooping and wouldn't admit any guilt. Either way, you caught her this time, who knows if you catch her next time she tries, you know? I'd say move on, quick, before you get more attached. Oh, btw, don't feel bad whatsoever about snooping. She lied to you, you had a reason to check up, and you found the truth. Snooping is really only bad when your partner doesn't give you a reason to worry and you check anyways out of personal jealousy or unwarranted trust issues.

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yea its hard though, im sure some of you can relate. to be honest i haven't had many/any successful relationships as my longest was only like 3.5 months but i find it hard to just dump someone. even though she did mess up...and bad...i dont mean to gloat but i consider myself a pretty good bf, im nice, understanding, and never cheated on anyone.

 

but idk i guess maybe ill see things differently tomorrow morning.

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but i find it hard to just dump someone

 

Planing a hookup through email/phone is a premeditated action, meaning she thought about it before she said what she said. It wasn't a slipped comment at a bar or a friends house. She is sorry that you caught her, not at the action. The physical action of cheating is not that hard, its the mental hurdle that someone has to convince themselves they are ready to cheat. She has already made that mental step. The first time is the hard one, from there it only gets easier to cheat. After only a few months you should bail, realistically even after a long relationship I would bail. Its a total lack of respect for you and she'll most likely try it again. You can always worry about if she is sleeping with someone else and hoping you don't get a STD, or you can find a gf that treats you like you treat them. Trust me, it sucks hardcore, but you have to do whats best/safest for you.

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Thanks allie2064, after having this happen to me 5 days ago, I know exactly what he is going through. I broke up with my gf when I showed her the messages though, already had her stuff packed up. Just working on getting over her now, almost there. Biggest thing that upset me is that she wouldn't take responsible for her actions. That hurt as much as trying to cheat.

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Thanks allie2064, after having this happen to me 5 days ago, I know exactly what he is going through. I broke up with my gf when I showed her the messages though, already had her stuff packed up. Just working on getting over her now, almost there. Biggest thing that upset me is that she wouldn't take responsible for her actions. That hurt as much as trying to cheat.

 

Well, I hope you can take some comfort in knowing that most cheaters never do take responsibility. My exhusband cheated on me with complete strangers, and, to this day he won't take responsibility. So I know how you feel.

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If you stay with this girl you will be in a very very bad place. She is no good for you, lying and planning on cheating after 2 months? Its never acceptable but after only 2 short months and she's already doing this - please save yourself some heartache/headache and leave. There shouldn't even be a question about this

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If you stay with this girl you will be in a very very bad place. She is no good for you, lying and planning on cheating after 2 months? Its never acceptable but after only 2 short months and she's already doing this - please save yourself some heartache/headache and leave. There shouldn't even be a question about this

 

Agree 100%....get out of this relationship. You're not thinking of staying, are you?

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