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afrodave

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Kind of a confusing situation for me recently. A year ago my son's mother / fiance broke up with me. It's been the hardest year of my life. I've tried no contact, I've tried begging, I've done everything I can to try to get her back. She tells me that "maybe one day" but not now. So I've tried dating other girls and finally I found someone else that I am happy with. The problem is that she has everything I want, except my heart. My heart is still with my ex, the dream of being a family together is overwhelming.

Now the tricky part. The girl I've been talking to now is my ex's cousin's ex fiance. Follow that!? So I know I would have to see her if things go bad and I don't want her thinking that we might be something when my heart is with my ex. Since I've been dating this new girl my ex is acting jealous and asking to hang out a lot. She told me that the only reason that she isn't with me right now is because she has a boyfriend already.

So do I move on with the new girl? Do I wait and sit by while my ex is in a new relationship? I really like this new girl and I don't want to hurt her, but I don't want to pass up a good opportunity to be happy for an opportunity that may never come.

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Hmm she told you that the only reason she isnt with you now is because she has a boyfriend? How does it feel to be second best?

Move on with the new girl, but only if you arent doing it for the wrong reasons. The future will take care of itself.

I wish you the best mate.

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It's tough, afrodave. I'm seeing a new girl now, she's crazy for me, but I just don't feel the same chemistry for her that I felt for my ex. My ex is really moving on with a new guy, and I'm too heartbroken to be alone. But at some point, I have to level with the new girl, and it's going to suck.

 

Try to take care of yourself, but don't bring someone else down to do it.

 

Good luck, amigo.

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afrodave, i know you are hurting, but to get into another relationship when you clearly can't give 100% is just wrong. people need to realise that unless we as humans make a conscious effort to deal with our issues before entering new relationships, the cycle of neverending hurt will always continue.

 

For this new girl's sake, i hope you can move on with her, but you shouldn't have put her or yourself in this situation. I'm not trying to come down on you, but people do need think more about the consequences of their actions.

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I was honest going into it with the new girl that I was still unsure about my ex. I have been dying to be a family and be together with my ex again. Now it doesn't feel like it used to since she's came back. I want things to work with my ex, but she (in her anger) is telling me to date the new girl, otherwise she'll be wondering if I really wanted to be with her. BUT if I date the new girl I might loose my ex again....sigh

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afrodave,

 

If i say some words...

 

Expecting your old relationship to simply be a "family" again, will not work. Everything in this life is a process, everything has actions, and reactions, cause and effect. The reason my reconciliation attempts with past ex's failed i have learned are because i try to look past what has happened. This actions manifests itself, in basically going to fast, as well as other things. When this happens, i started to look at it like "oh weve changed, its just not there anymore". And its true, unless you invest into a new relationship with that person, its bound to fail. If in the end you cant forge a new relationship, your no worse off than when you began, you just simply gave it your all.

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Seems like getting involved with someone when you are still hang up on someone else is wrong. Especially when you have a son who needs your full attention(unless he is over 18 ).

Shouldn't you be thinking about what's best for your son atm? Make sure that those girls you date don't bring any drama to your home.

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