What to do?

[Star14]

I really do think I am my worst enemy. I let go of the past, forgave everything (haven't been able to forget though- and it does make me sad). These days I don't hurt because of what happened, but because of how my ex 'bf' is behaving even now. Am not allowed to express anger or sadness or anything. Yes, it is my stupidity for continuing to speak to him- in fact the only time I frown is when I am speaking to him. He commented that if he made me so miserable, why I 'insisted' on speaking to him. N truthfully, because I wanted him to have someone when he needed to talk or needed help (I don't think his friends would really help him out). But yeah- that was basically the reason. But the things he says, they just make me want to NOT care at all- regardless if we had anything good once.

So I don't know...NC forever then?

[Xetra Dax]

Why do you expect to receive love by hugging thorn bushes? Maby its true that he needs help, but your not the appointed and qualified person to do so. Your self appointed to do so is a form of self destructive behaviour. You need to do that what is right, he doen't need help nor does he need to talk. Its actually the other way around, you need help and you need someone to talk you out of this non-sense.

 

Sometimes people need to help themselves. For you that means giving yourself time to heal, and finding another bf who treats you in a way how you deserve to be treated.

[Star14]

Ooh- harsh! But true. Exactly what a friend of mine said about this whole fiasco. So thanks.

=)

[lkonohalanbu]

You two are over, do not forget that, you don't need to be his emotional crutch, he will learn to cope on his own. Stick with NC, do things for you and not him, do things that will save you from more pain, NC is a great tool! If used effectively, but if you ignore NC and the benefits, you're only asking for more pain, sometimes tough love is needed to be able to get your point accross.

[jpearl]

Someone posted this earlier and I found it very helpful. From the sounds of it we are a lot alike with our exes. Mine called in a bad mood/depressed last night and I HAD to go over and help out. He broke up with me, and hasn't once been interested in how I'm feeling. This article really is good at explaning WHY we become this way.

link removed

[Star14]

Thanks jpearl. I think I know now that I don't HAVE to do anything anymore. Sometimes the only thing one can do is walk away- n I need to do that already! Am taking the first steps.

=)