lil big guy Posted August 29, 2008 Share Posted August 29, 2008 Hey ENAer's. I have been browsing this forum for a while now, but I feel the need to vent on here and seek some advice. My ex and I are early 20's. We dated for nearly two years which I thought were great. It was semi long distance and we saw each other usually just on the weekends unless I was on break from school. Then we saw each other constantly. Towards the end of the second year things just kind of got stale in the relationship I guess. We drifted apart and both realized it. We thought perhaps a "break" was in order and came to the agreement mutually. After roughly one week I told her I didn't want the break. She said she "lost herself" in the relationship and needed to be single for a while to find herself again. Plus she was very confused about getting back together with me. I begged and pleaded for a while and after about a month I decided I needed no contact. Well after I started NC she called and asked for a meeting. I thought great this is a good sign. Well after the meeting she said she didn't want to mislead me and just wanted to catch up. Dagger in the heart, back to NC. Two weeks ago she was texting me how she missed me, wished I would talk to her, and even sent me a love thing. So like the weakling I am I called her up and basically said if you want to make steps towards getting back together I'd love to have contact with you. If not sorry I can't be your friend. Two weeks later she sends me a text saying she's been thinking about me. I don't respond..Calls me the next day early. I was sleeping and don't pick up. Then last night she sends me another text to which I responded. We had a little text conversation today but real light and relationship free. My dilemma: I love this girl so much. I would love nothing more than to be with her. She still tells me how confused she is and how she just isn't ready right now to get back together. Last time we talked she even told me that it worried her that two months from now if she chooses to pursue me that I might not be available. What is the deal here. Is she really just trying to be friends with me? I've told her til I'm blue in the face that I can't be friends with her given our intimate past. Am I making a mistake by responding to her texts? I really want to give myself the best chance to get back with her, but I feel that perhaps by responding I am helping her get over me by letting her know she still has me. O ya and part of the reason she stated after the breakup was that I wasn't really emotionally available and romantic enough. I would give anything to prove her wrong. I have really been using this NC period to reflect and change for myself, but I fear that I may never get the chance to show her my changes. Sorry for the long post, but I really needed to get this off my chest to a new crowd. Thank you for your advice. It means a lot to me. Link to comment
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