Looking through his phone.Paranoid?

[emmie_g]

My boyfriend works with his best friend as a civil engineer and he works all over the country, bare in mind hes only 18, Last night he came round and said "me and Mart saw some girls earlier and we gt chatting to them, marts meeting up with them tomorow".

 

Ok first of all how would just his friend be meeting up with them??

 

So i questioned him on a few things....

"did they ask for your number" he replied "nah they wernt interested in me, they were more interested in him".

I know this is lies becuase my boyfriend is a hell of a lot better looking and many otheres agree with me on that.

 

So apparently they had his friends number.

 

All this time i knew he had a girls name in his fone that i had earlier seen. Now i got him that phone on contract, i know all of his friends and i know there isnt any1 in his life called "gina".

 

So i changed her number to my best friends, to see of he would txt it.

Do you think this is a wrong thing to do?

 

He's said he will never leave me and that he wants to be with me forever and all this, do people still say those things if they are prepared to cheat?

[soul_soother]

I guess it depends on the kind of guy he is? 18 is very young to dedicate your life fully to someone but, I know it's very possible.

 

I honestly think what you did is wrong, I never would read / alter or "breach" my girlfriends private belongings. In the end no matter what, you don't really own that person, they have a free will for a reason. Gina could be a new cool co-worker, I'm not sure exactly when people started to decide, that if your dating someone your not allowed to have friends of the opposite sex. It's kind of shady and I understand why people feel insecure and jealous of it but in reality, there isn't a reason for it.

 

I know if my girlfriend had done that, I probably would end up not talking to her for a long time. You kind of need a little bit more of an excuse to start getting into his belongings or believing he is. If he's getting calls and distant and all of a sudden gets excited over other girls then you can ask?

[Rising]

If you can't trust your boyfriend then you two need to deal with it directly or save yourselves the drama and pain that will come with all the resultant snooping/spying/jealousy and possible cheating.

 

Just because you and some friends think your boyfriend is hot doesn't mean that whatever girls ran into them think he's hotter and thereforee want him more.

 

Honestly, I think you are looking to see something rather than something presenting itself. If you are right and it's something dubious on his part then you may find it out after more snooping and prying... but if you are wrong you have to consider what that might do to your relationship.

 

I know I would lose a lot of trust for any woman that made motions to show she obviously didn't trust me. Just be careful.

[nutbrownhare]

I believe totally in fidelity in relationships; if someone were looking through my private accounts/emails/whatever - I would not want to see them again.

 

On the other hand, if I were having little flings around the place, and my SO started checking my private details - I would not want to see them again.

 

Do you trust your boyfriend? If not, why are you still there?

[emmie_g]

I do trust him, i just feel that lucky to have him im that scared of losing him.

I do feel guilty for what ive done but theres nothing i can do to correct it.

maybe i should just delete that number all together and hope he just thinks it was a personal error??

I do think im a paranoid person about losing him and i do realise my paranoia will drive him away, i just dont know what to do to stop it.

[soul_soother]

Well I have a question, reading another one of your posts, you have a child. Is this your current Bf's and if not how does he play into your relationship?

[emmie_g]

No he isnt the father of my child but he does play as his father in a kind of way, he doesnt want my son to call him dad and all that but he does love him, he buys him things, takes him out, plays with him, baths him, puts him in bed.

He has no apparent issue with me having a baby by someone else. He's even told me that me having a son is a bonus.

I'm not worried that if i lost him i wouldnt beable find someone else, it isnt like that.

I love him and couldnt imagine being with anyone else.

[soul_soother]

maybe you should give the guy some credit then, I mean I know that if I jumped into a relationship with a girl who had a kid some things would be a little more difficult.

 

If your that insecure about something of the sort when you guys are having a good loving moment asked something like do you love me forever. And then casually bring up if he talks to other girls, in a sensere way though not a crazy kind of women. You had a child at 16 so I give you props, regardless to what KissKiss said lol

[emmie_g]

Lol thankyou, Yeah i do give him credit, hes an amazing person for taking me and my son on! lol.

 

Yeah i will make some comments in a fun kind of way and see what he says, i do realise what i did was wrong and i feel so guilty for it

[soul_soother]

it's very easy for someone to let the second guess themselves. It's like when you boyfriend says he'll call you as soon as he gets home a ten minute drive and he doesn't call you for half an hour. And you freak out because you think of the worst possible thing, that he got in some wreck and what not, when really he only has diahria lol... Or when you see a name gina in his phone and you think shes the cute girl at his work who wears those revealing shirts and really isn't proper for work but she does it anyhow...when really shes the ugly lady who forces people to volunteer for things and you put their name in ur phone so you know to ignore that call..lol

[emmie_g]

Hahaha that made me smile.

yeah possibly i would understand that but his job consists of digging holes in the ground and doing drains and things etc (isnt a place that has women working there).

I dont know, if he tells me he didnt have one of thier numbers and they didnt have his then i should believe him, like you say i am just one of those people that thinks the worst in situations. I will just delete the number later and forget about it.

[kuhl282000]

Phones and emails are private ........its a violation of trust on your part to be in there.

 

If you have doubt ask him

 

Trust is the key in any relationship