Facebook

[Steve 7745]

See, if I SEE my ex anywhere, I'll have to battle with the urge to talk to her. On Facebook, it's not just about the profile stalking. There's a chat feature in it too, and she does come on mid day. That's why I had to delete her.

[knightingale]

It took three weeks, but I blocked mine on Facebook and Myspace. However, I'm also a sentimental fool and wound up writing him a "goodbye for now" message a few days later (momentarily unblocking him), telling him why I did--it to help me get past all of this--and that someday we might be friends. Also that I truly loved the guy I was in a relationship with, he was a good guy, but that if he needs to be who he is being now, that's fine, but I'm not going to subject myself to it because that's not the person I fell in love with. Then I told him I am doing great, not to contact me I'll contact him, and to please not reply to this message, that all I want is for him to understand.

 

At times I regret blocking him, it's been almost two weeks since I did. The girl he has been spending a lot of time with but in his words "not dating", her profile is easily accessible to me because we are in the same network. Her profile does more harm to me than his ever did, so it's almost like blocking him was all for naught. Now I just wonder about him, never knowing the truth, only going by what I see on her page--which isn't much these days. I like to think that's a good thing, even though I know they are still hanging out--at bars, with other people. For all I know they are dwindling into a friendship. Again, it's a mystery to me at this point, and it's the not knowing that can destroy a person. Especially when you have a very active imagination like myself.

 

HOWEVER! I am actually doing better. I haven't cried since I blocked him. Yes, I've had my sad days, my mad days, but I went on a date with a really nice guy on Thursday, I've been running every other day, trying to get back into writing, reading books I've neglected, hanging out with people I'd neglected etc. It's been hard, but each day I feel a little more strength and dignity being restored.

[istillluvu06]

In my humble opinion the internet itself has destroyed alot of relationships!!!!

[knightingale]

In my humble opinion the internet itself has destroyed alot of relationships!!!!

 

Amen to that. Myspace and Facebook destroy lives.

[brizzle]

My ex and I have lots of mutual friends, so I went one step further after deleting him. Of course because you get the news feed that so and so tagged "ex" in a photo and so forth and so on. So knowing that I didn't want to see pictures of him and his new girlfriend or stories about them, I asked him straight out to block me. We are still friends, but lets be honest...people ALWAYS take things the wrong way on the internet. Simple conversations get blown into fights, a picture of a girl and a guy results in accusations of cheating etc. So, that's what I did, and he obliged.

If you aren't friends or on talking terms with your ex, I'd still suggest blocking them and deleting them. I think the hardest thing for all of us is holding back from face-snooping, am I right?

[Steve 7745]

Amen to that. Myspace and Facebook destroy lives.

 

You have a point. Every relationship that the internet starts, it also ends.

[istillluvu06]

Exactly what happened to me, I met my ex on internet 5 yrs ago. Now hes on singlesnet again, before he totally broke up w me was talking to other women and who knows what else. I asked him and he lied to my face until I picked up his phone one day and saw texts from some girl.

He still denied.

Never thought he was a liar, but now I know he wasnt what I thought. I had my part in the bad stuff in our relationship, but what he did at the end was totally cruel

I seriously do hate the internet and would never again try to meet anyone on there.

It really has destroyed lives, from porn to dating sites, myspace, facebook....ALL OF THEM!!!! It makes it way to easy to lie and be deceptive.

HE2ETIC....You're right about what begins on internet usually ends on internet. He broke up w me on messenger, couldnt even face me and to think we were engaged. Makes me soooo sick

[chocolate-cake]

In my humble opinion the internet itself has destroyed alot of relationships!!!!

 

This is true but i believe it just shows the other person the reality of what their partner is doing!! before facebook and myspace there was no way to tell the other girls/boys they could be talking to or what exactly happened when they went out, whos body they put their arm around now via pictures and reading walls its possible to find out these things and thus it causes a problem. Before it was just unavailable to those not there at the time.

[bfla]

When she updates her status 5 times in one day, it really makes me think they are at least partially directed at me.

 

*sigh*

[Steve 7745]

Delete her bfla.

[bfla]

Just can't do it man. I'm not there.

[LE DHUY NHUT]

In my humble opinion the internet itself has destroyed alot of relationships!!!!

 

I see a lot of people blaming these sites for destroying relationships etc but people ought to blame themselves for their lack of self control and indecisiveness.But I suppose it's easier to blame something external.

[bfla]

Friend just asked... "did you see Rebound BF's new pic"

 

And I had not. Well obviously its a picture of the two of them.

 

I didn't look because I don't want to.

 

Sometimes the best intentioned friends.... *sigh*

[Steve 7745]

Friend just asked... "did you see Rebound BF's new pic"

 

And I had not. Well obviously its a picture of the two of them.

 

I didn't look because I don't want to.

 

Sometimes the best intentioned friends.... *sigh*

 

Why don't you pull the knife out of your chest and delete her from your FB friends. If you want her back so bad, this is the first step.

[DrPhil]

Friend just asked... "did you see Rebound BF's new pic"

 

And I had not. Well obviously its a picture of the two of them.

 

I didn't look because I don't want to.

 

Sometimes the best intentioned friends.... *sigh*

 

LOL, I got the same thing with the bf's myspace.

 

But I was an idiot and logged on a friends account and checked. Made me sick.

 

Also checked the ex's default pic (friend wasn't friends with her) and she never changed a thing. Makes me think she was hesitant as this was when they first started going out.

[bfla]

Why don't you pull the knife out of your chest and delete her from your FB friends. If you want her back so bad, this is the first step.

 

Well, she was referring to HIS new picture...he's not my friend, he just happens to be in the same network so he's visible. Ya know...

 

I just dont know if I'm ready for that yet.

[Steve 7745]

Well, she was referring to HIS new picture...he's not my friend, he just happens to be in the same network so he's visible. Ya know...

 

I just dont know if I'm ready for that yet.

 

BFLA, you're just hurting YOURSELF if you keep doing this. This board is about getting over people and moving on with our lives, because you're NOT getting back with her.

 

It's. Over.

 

Go NC and move on. Or maybe next time, she'll take pictures of the two of them having sex and ask you for advice on how she can better please him. Sooner or later, she'll think that you're "such a good friend" that she could ask that of you. She'll keep pushing boundaries to see what she can get away with. I mean, if you feel comfortable enough to take that, go ahead. But I would just go home and vomit.

 

Or just go NC and get on with my life.

[bfla]

He2etic man you aren't seein' what I just said. She didnt post anything. It is his picture and he is obviously not my friend,

 

And I also did not look at his new one.

 

My point was about the friends of mine...

[Steve 7745]

He2etic man you aren't seein' what I just said. She didnt post anything. And I also did not look at his new one.

 

My point was about the friends...

 

I must have confused your post for the one that followed from Dr. Phil.

[bfla]

No prob man.

 

I know there are a lot of straw graspers here (me included) but there has been a lot of insight in this thread and other recent ones about facebook etc.

 

I am not in denial about Rachel or the fact that she isn't single but at the same time...she really is acting her age and the age of her girlfriends.

 

i.e.

[Steve 7745]

Give me a few minutes to read that.

 

You know what's crazy is that the more stories I read about people breaking up and being cheated upon, the more I feel sick. The more I want to vomit. Maybe I'm just disgusted with the way people who loved or cared for one another treat each other sometimes. And we chalk it up to being "human."

 

It makes my head hurt and it makes me angry. It's rarely the women's cases though because I am a man and I relate to the men's cases. It's just that it feels like the women tolerate various forms of abuse until the relationship ends, while the guys are utterly blind to the disrespect until it's too late.

 

I have to see it. I have to be able to spot it, the warning signs, the changes. The little details that tell me someone isn't treating me or someone else right. Maybe I'm obsessed until I feel ill. Who knows.

[bfla]

Yeah. Well...there was no cheating here. That's something neither of us would do, I think.

 

I know what you mean, though. I knew from our last falling out that I needed to modify the way I would treat Rachel at certain times. (I didn't hit her or anything like that.) It's a crap cop-out but all I can do is say...I was learning how to be a career adult with a full time job and an apartment.

 

She is none of those, yet, and can't comprehend how stressful it can be. NOT an excuse for saying mean things to her. Just a difference between us.

 

Well I didn't modify it enough, and now she's gone. I'm modifying now. My friends inform me - "it might be too little too late." Well it may be too late or it may not be. But I'll be damned if I do too little.