Friend of over 7 years has always been in love with me

[FatedLove]

Hi, I just have to chime in. I'm with kayla, I am a girl in this situation. Part of the problem is that I'm never attracted to any man and I'm physically as well as mentally and emotionally attracted to my friend. It's been about 2 years and the feelings havenn't changed. I tried to end things and I wound up running back (kind of a big mistake, but I couldn't help it). I was crying all week, almost for 2 weeks without him and I just couldn't handle it. So, I told him I'd make an attempt at JUST being his friend. It's been better... but if I'm honest with myself, I'm still holding out hope. Everything I say to him is just to "win him over". It feels weird being the female in this situation, because you usually only hear about it with guys. Anyway... I have had other options and other guys basically throw themselves at me since I met him and I've refused every other guy's offers. I just can't handle it. the thought of being with anybody but him is just too much to bare. (Not to mention, I literally have not met anyone else I'm attracted to in the entire 2 years I've been friends). I am an incredibly picky person.

 

I don't know what is going to come of this, but all I know right now is I'm trying to just not like anybody. Because the truth is, if I don't like him, there is no one else to like. Or that I do like. I have nobody else in my life right that I feel this strongly about.

 

I can tell you from my perspective, with as good of a friend as he has been, even if he did cut me out of his life tomorrow, I honestly don't know if I'd ever move on. It'd be like a 13 Going on 30 end result, where the guy who was in love with the girl gets older and does end up finding someone, but isn't really IN LOVE with her. And tells his friend who he is in love that he doesn't really believe in soul mates (because he believes she will always be that).

 

I don't know what to tell you other than that guys and girls usually make REALLY crappy friends because of this right here.

I just had a friend who has been going after me cut me out of his life because I couldn't stop talking about my friend that I like. (that i'm in love with, if I'm being honest). The only difference. I don't care. He can go. But I can't let my friend go. He's the best guy friend I've ever had.

 

I'd be heart broken if we weren't friends. But I'm also heartbroken when I know he's dated other girls. I couldn't speak to him when he had a girlfriend for a few weeks. He ended up dumping her in front of me (not in person, over the phone).

 

I don't know what to do. I feel guilty as well. It's not just you who feels guilty. I feel guilty for pressuring him into liking me because of my feelings. But at the same time, I can't just make them go away.

 

This is an extremely unhealthy friendship to have and to keep going, but it's also extremely hard to let go of.

 

I'm sorry for your situation and just know that you're not the only one who feels guilty. I feel like a * * * * * for expecting something outta him that he's already told me a flat out "no". But that's what happens when you keep the friendship alive. Like someone else said, it's like adding lighter fluid and oxygen to the fire.

 

The only way I moved on from my high school crush was I had to not see him or speak to him for a long time. Like 6 years. After being in this close contact with my current crush, it may take me well over 10.

 

I don't heal quickly when it comes to matters of the heart. So... just keep that in mind also. If he is ever going to get over you... it will take a long time. Just speaking from personal experience.

 

Unrequited love is a b****