SeaBisquit Posted June 12, 2008 Share Posted June 12, 2008 hi, i'm posting one more time about what happened to me. i posted yesterday about how i have gotten HPV. i found out that he had three other sexual partners besides me. this is a guy who owns a business and very reputable. i'm just sharing my story because when i met him i thought he was a very highly respected man. i fell in love with him right away. (at least at the time i thought it was love.) he wined me and dined me. took me to places i have never seen. he turned out to be the biggest scum of the earth i have never met. i just want what happened to me not to ever happened to anyone else. don't take any chances. and make sure you really know the person you are sleeping with. it is so embarrassing and i have only told two people. but if i do end up with cancer my family will know. Link to comment
rose2summer Posted June 12, 2008 Share Posted June 12, 2008 Hey Seabisquit- I know the news is shocking, I too was diagnosed with HPV last year, but my body soon cleared the infection. I have had perfect paps since and my cervix is very healthy. I was shocked, frustrated, annoyed, blamed my ex, but it usually takes years for the changes on your cervix to occur to detect the HPV virus. It is important to remember that most women who have HPV clear the virus naturally and do not go on to develop cervical cancer. link removed If you have early cell changes due to HPV, there is a strong likelihood that these changes will clear up naturally in 8 to 14 months. Because of this, and the fact that cancer of the cervix takes around 10 years to develop, your doctor may recommend simply having another Pap smear in 12 months time. Genital HPV is so common that it could be considered a normal part of being a sexually active person. Most people will have HPV at some time in their lives and never know it. At least 8 out of every 10 women who have ever had sex will get HPV at some time in their lives. My physician told me he sees it all the time, and he chooses not to treat it, because it goes way on its own. Your dr will choose the best treatment option for you and how often to get paps. It seems very daunting, but most have had it, so don't feel ashamed or like this will affect your future relationship prospects. I have dated since, and despite no longer having the virus, informed men I was interested in, and no one turned me away for it, if anything they were very empathetic. Hugs, Rose Link to comment
SeaBisquit Posted June 12, 2008 Author Share Posted June 12, 2008 i can't believe he has three other woman. that means they are more woman out there like me. Link to comment
metrogirl Posted June 12, 2008 Share Posted June 12, 2008 He isn't married too is he? How did you meet this prize? Link to comment
Hope75 Posted June 12, 2008 Share Posted June 12, 2008 I'm sorry this happened to you. Did you use protection when you slept with him? Link to comment
rose2summer Posted June 12, 2008 Share Posted June 12, 2008 this is a guy who owns a business and very reputable. You remind me of myself My ex has slept with prostitutes, gone to brothels, all sorts of things, and he is a very very reputable doctor in a very prestigious hospital and specialty and speaker at church and a head church choir singer. Men of all levels of life can have provocative sex lives. Hugs, Rose Link to comment
SeaBisquit Posted June 12, 2008 Author Share Posted June 12, 2008 nope not married. i met him at a casino. we played roulette together. we just talked the first time i met him. then i seen him a few times after that. he asked me out each time. and each time i said no. then he told me i was passing up something good. i thought about it and decided to date him. i thought what would it hurt. on my first date i was sick and he took off from work to stay at my house to take care of me. ( which i thought was very sweet) he did do alot of nice thing for me. he is very decieving. Link to comment
SeaBisquit Posted June 12, 2008 Author Share Posted June 12, 2008 hope- we never used protection. i really fell for this guy. i thought it was love. Link to comment
Hope75 Posted June 12, 2008 Share Posted June 12, 2008 hope- we never used protection. i really fell for this guy. i thought it was love. Seabisquit- even if you are in love you need to use protection! Love isn't going to protect you from STIs, as you have figured out. I hope that you will get a full STI workup including an HIV test now and again in about 12 weeks, since it can take that long to come up positive. I hope that others read about your situation and think twice before having unprotected sex until they are monogamous for at least several months and both have an STI work up before risking their lives to have unprotected sex. Link to comment
Mythical_Suicide Posted June 12, 2008 Share Posted June 12, 2008 I'm sorry this happene to you and I know it doesn't make you feel any better but HPV is extremely common and men never even know they carry it unless their partner becomes infected. Yes it's wrong for him to be sleeping around but he didn't know he had this infection. You also took the risk when you slept with him without protection so the blame can't be fully put on him. The chances of you developing cancer from this if you follow up on it in extremely low. Link to comment
Gracelove Posted June 12, 2008 Share Posted June 12, 2008 Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!!!!!! I'm so, so, so, sorry to hear this. I really am. How long were you guys seeing each other? Do you feel you still love him? Have you told him how angry you are, etc. etc.? This realllly sucks, and I truly hope you won't get cancer. I know this sounds really awful, but I think men are just cheaters by nature, at least that's what I've been taught. So when it comes to men and sex.....it's going to be pretty complicated. Condoms don't protect really. What if the condom slides off or breaks? And then how often do you make him take an STD test? I think it's all soooo complicated. I guess you just have to tell a guy that if he cheats on you, he doesn't have to tell you, he just needs to get tested. Because if you find out he has given you something, you'll make his life a living nightmare. I think that would get the message accross pretty clearly. Even if you don't mean it at the time, you have to act like you're hella serious. I was going through my issues in my last relationship, so I didn't threaten him like I did the others. You just say it once, get it out on the table, and that's it. Let them roam free and do what they want to do, no questions asked. But in the back of their head, they'll think about what you told them in the beginning. It's rough though I know. My ex was cheating on me, and I'm so fortunate I didn't get anything. We always used condoms, but those aren't fool proof. I think it's probably best to just stick to vibrators until marriage. And you should only marry after knowing someone for a long time. And then maybe make some comprimise (sp?), like......"If you don't cheat on me we can have sex every day". Maybe appeal to a man's since of reason. That way he know he can come to you anytime for sex without being turned down. I just wish people were more honest. Especially when it comes to sex, because these diseases are life changing. It's just not fair to be lied to, especially when it comes to you health. I'm so sorry. Just remember it's okay to be angry. You won't be angry forever, but healthy anger is a part of grieving. Link to comment
SeaBisquit Posted June 12, 2008 Author Share Posted June 12, 2008 he made a joke about given me herpes. he knew he had it. Link to comment
Snoopy24 Posted June 12, 2008 Share Posted June 12, 2008 I'm sorry this happened to you. I just want to note, that you can have HPV for YEARS before it is ever detected or have an outbreak. So, even though this guy may have given it to you, if you have had any others exual partners in your past it is very likely one of them gave it to you. Link to comment
rose2summer Posted June 12, 2008 Share Posted June 12, 2008 he made a joke about given me herpes. he knew he had it. If he knew he had herpes and you contracted it, you may be able to press charges against him, since he knowingly harmed your health. Have you been tested for herpes type 2? Link to comment
SeaBisquit Posted June 12, 2008 Author Share Posted June 12, 2008 he gave it to me. i got tested right before i started dating him. he is the only guy i was dumb with when it came to sex. Link to comment
Gracelove Posted June 12, 2008 Share Posted June 12, 2008 he made a joke about given me herpes. he knew he had it. What a jerk!!!!! Can you turn him into the CDC? I would try. I know it's against the law to knowingly spread HIV. Maybe the same applies to HPV. Link to comment
Snoopy24 Posted June 12, 2008 Share Posted June 12, 2008 Herpes and HPV are two very different things. whether he was joking or not, it's very likely he didn't give you the HPV. I'm not defending his actions, but like I said half the people who contract HPV don't have any symptoms, and the strains that cause warts, 9/10 times won't show right away. It's not a STD like crabs, chlamydia, or something that shows within a couple weeks. As much as a scum bag this guy really is, if you have had sex with anyone else in your life, you can't accuse him of giving you this. Link to comment
rose2summer Posted June 12, 2008 Share Posted June 12, 2008 I agree about the HPV, but if he gave her herpes, that's a different ballgame. HPV is very common, but likely gets fought off, herpes is for life. Link to comment
Snoopy24 Posted June 12, 2008 Share Posted June 12, 2008 he gave it to me. i got tested right before i started dating him. he is the only guy i was dumb with when it came to sex. You can get tested a hundred times, and it could not show up if it is dormant in your system. Link to comment
ImThatGirl Posted June 12, 2008 Share Posted June 12, 2008 You can get tested a hundred times, and it could not show up if it is dormant in your system. True... You can sleep with one person and no others... get tested for 5 years with nothing... and then get tested with positive results. Anybody know how likely it is to show up within 3 months of getting it? (I do feel terrible for you sea but I think that you definitely may want to look into these facts.) Link to comment
rose2summer Posted June 12, 2008 Share Posted June 12, 2008 Anybody know how likely it is to show up within 3 months of getting it? Very unlikely. I read lots of medical articles on the area when I had an abnormal pap. The only way they can detect the HPV is by taking some cells scraped from the cervix and testing for HPV DNA, and they can determine if it's a high risk or low risk strain. In order to get these changes on the cervix to get the sample you need, studies showed it took many many months after exposure to HPV to get cervix dysplasia (cell changes on the cervix). I don't remember the exact number, but between 2-3 years, and closer to 3 years. Link to comment
Mythical_Suicide Posted June 12, 2008 Share Posted June 12, 2008 he made a joke about given me herpes. he knew he had it. Thats very sick of him to do.. however herpes and HPV are two different things? So just because he joked about giving you herpes doesn't mean he knows he had HPV. Oh, and might I add if he isn't the only guy you have ever even as much as fooled around with its very possible he didn't give you HPV. HPV can be transmitted even with the use of condoms. Link to comment
CarnelianButterfly Posted June 12, 2008 Share Posted June 12, 2008 Do you have both HPV and herpes? Link to comment
SeaBisquit Posted June 12, 2008 Author Share Posted June 12, 2008 i have HPV. i find it highly unlikely that someone else could have given it to me. i went along time without even haven sex before i was with him. i always used protection even though it always does not protect from getting HPV. plus he is with three other woman. Link to comment
d1211 Posted June 12, 2008 Share Posted June 12, 2008 Very unlikely. I read lots of medical articles on the area when I had an abnormal pap. The only way they can detect the HPV is by taking some cells scraped from the cervix and testing for HPV DNA, and they can determine if it's a high risk or low risk strain. In order to get these changes on the cervix to get the sample you need, studies showed it took many many months after exposure to HPV to get cervix dysplasia (cell changes on the cervix). I don't remember the exact number, but between 2-3 years, and closer to 3 years. well i have hpv. my ex was the first and still the only guy that i have been sexually active with. we started have sex oct 2007 and broke up dec 2007, i went in march 2008 for a pap and it came out abnormal, so only 6 months passed when i found out. they did a colposcopy and i had displasia. so they had to do cryotherapy on me which basically freezes those abnormal cells Link to comment
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