BronzedSkin123 Posted June 1, 2008 Share Posted June 1, 2008 When I was with my ex, the times that we did have sex I used to get angry..mainly during the foreplay, the way he would touch me and suck on my breast just made me want to kick him in the face so hard. I would just lay there with this disgusted look on my face with this desire to just sock him in his jaw. Partly because he would never touch me the way that I wanted him to. If i told him that I didn't like something he would get defensive and do it anyway. Which would make me want to go into a rage and beat him up. I still get angry when I think back about it. is this normal? Link to comment
KG Posted June 1, 2008 Share Posted June 1, 2008 No, not at all. You had a jerk for a lover. What part of "I like THIS, not THAT" don't you understand? Link to comment
Crazyaboutdogs Posted June 1, 2008 Share Posted June 1, 2008 Was he too rough with you...did you feel like you were being violated? It sounds like you both didn't communicate very well. Sometimes these discussions are best done outside of the bedroom. During sex he could have been too caught up in the moment and feel embarrassed. If you felt this kind of violence towards him, it is possible your tone when you were correcting him was insulting and hurtful, that is why he reacted the way he did. Correcting someone during sex has to be done with kindness and compassion because otherwise it will unleash performance insecurities. Link to comment
BronzedSkin123 Posted June 1, 2008 Author Share Posted June 1, 2008 Was he too rough with you...did you feel like you were being violated? It sounds like you both didn't communicate very well. Sometimes these discussions are best done outside of the bedroom. During sex he could have been too caught up in the moment and feel embarrassed. If you felt this kind of violence towards him, it is possible your tone when you were correcting him was insulting and hurtful, that is why he reacted the way he did. Correcting someone during sex has to be done with kindness and compassion because otherwise it will unleash performance insecurities. No, he wasn't rough. But sometimes I did feel like I was being violated. I never told him that i hated the way he sucked my beast, i didn't know how. i just went went with the flow even though i HATED the way he did it, it just made me want to throw him off of me. then there were times during oral where i would tell him i didn't like something and he'd just say "just sit back and enjoy the ride" it made me so angry that i wanted to kick him in the face. he never listened to me at all during sex. if i said something, he'd be so into it that he would tune me out of it. I never felt apart of the act at all. Link to comment
Country Girl Posted June 1, 2008 Share Posted June 1, 2008 i used to feel the same way about my ex. a while after we broke up i realized it was because part of me knew he was cheating on me so i just felt disgusted. Link to comment
Honey Pumpkin Posted June 1, 2008 Share Posted June 1, 2008 When I was with my ex, the times that we did have sex I used to get angry..mainly during the foreplay, the way he would touch me and suck on my breast just made me want to kick him in the face so hard. I would just lay there with this disgusted look on my face with this desire to just sock him in his jaw. Partly because he would never touch me the way that I wanted him to. If i told him that I didn't like something he would get defensive and do it anyway. Which would make me want to go into a rage and beat him up. I still get angry when I think back about it. is this normal? No, it's not 'normal'. That level of anger is not normal when you're making love, it's...there is something else going on, for sure. Did you ever have good times when you were making love, or was it always unsatisfying and awful for you? Link to comment
Crazyaboutdogs Posted June 1, 2008 Share Posted June 1, 2008 No, he wasn't rough. But sometimes I did feel like I was being violated. I never told him that i hated the way he sucked my beast, i didn't know how. i just went went with the flow even though i HATED the way he did it, it just made me want to throw him off of me. then there were times during oral where i would tell him i didn't like something and he'd just say "just sit back and enjoy the ride" it made me so angry that i wanted to kick him in the face. he never listened to me at all during sex. if i said something, he'd be so into it that he would tune me out of it. I never felt apart of the act at all. Well, it is a moot point for that relationship, but perhaps in the future if you are not being touched as gently as you would like, speak up..and if it doesn't improve, talk about it outside the bedroom. Link to comment
Bolli Posted June 1, 2008 Share Posted June 1, 2008 If your lover is basically ignoring your desires during sex it means that basically it doesn't matter if its you or just a body. Total violation. Link to comment
Poke_RC Posted June 1, 2008 Share Posted June 1, 2008 If your lover is basically ignoring your desires during sex it means that basically it doesn't matter if its you or just a body. Total violation. What's wrong with you people?????? 'I wanted to kick him in the face'????? Cos she didn't like the way he made love to her......... Can you imagine if a guy came on here and said I don't like the way my girl makes love to me...I want to kick her in the face?????? Me thinks he would get a different reaction...and it wouldn't be ''oh yes your quite right to feel that way he was ignoring your needs''....more like u woman beating bleep bleep bleep Link to comment
Crazyaboutdogs Posted June 1, 2008 Share Posted June 1, 2008 What's wrong with you people?????? 'I wanted to kick him in the face'????? Cos she didn't like the way he made love to her......... Can you imagine if a guy came on here and said I don't like the way my girl makes love to me...I want to kick her in the face?????? Me thinks he would get a different reaction...and it wouldn't be ''oh yes your quite right to feel that way he was ignoring your needs''....more like u woman beating bleep bleep bleep You are absolutely right. I think Bronzed needs to get a grip and figure out why her reaction to his lovemaking was so over the top hostile, especially since he was not brutalizing her, he just wasn't pleasing her as well as she would have expected. Link to comment
shattered heart. Posted June 1, 2008 Share Posted June 1, 2008 Couldn't you just tell him? We are human after all and we are blessed with the ability to communicate verbally. Link to comment
Batya33 Posted June 1, 2008 Share Posted June 1, 2008 Why did you continue to have sex with him after this happened once or twice? Why did you continue the relationship? Link to comment
pinkelephant Posted June 2, 2008 Share Posted June 2, 2008 When I was with my ex, the times that we did have sex I used to get angry..mainly during the foreplay, the way he would touch me and suck on my breast just made me want to kick him in the face so hard. I would just lay there with this disgusted look on my face with this desire to just sock him in his jaw. Partly because he would never touch me the way that I wanted him to. If i told him that I didn't like something he would get defensive and do it anyway. Which would make me want to go into a rage and beat him up. I still get angry when I think back about it. is this normal? Not particularly. I used to be so angry with my exboyfriend because he was SO rough when he put it in. He always did it super forcefully. I ALWAYSSSSS almost cry because it hurts SOOO much. I'm still angry still to this day because of it. I wanted to box him SO much. THAT STUPID JERK! GR. *goes off super angry now* Link to comment
pinkelephant Posted June 2, 2008 Share Posted June 2, 2008 lol, i just read the replies to this thread. I suppose we both have anger issues. Or it's just because it's sex so it's personal and because it's so rough.. it hurts. and he basically just hurts us without us being able to do anything about it (well, obv leave him.. but for whatever reasons, we didnt). It just pent up the anger to that point. That's personally how it was for me. Link to comment
star2008 Posted June 2, 2008 Share Posted June 2, 2008 I think it is common to feel angry when someone does something to you that you don't like and either you feel you cannot tell them to stop or when you do they don't listen. I think it is also common that when you do something to someone that they don't like but either they don't tell you or they do but then they keep acting like it's okay then you will keep doing it if you want to. He probably thought that even though you said you didn't like it, you still stayed so you probably did like it. Next time, if you don't like what he does to you, tell him. If he still does it, then get up and put your clothes back on. If he's not going to do you the courtesy of listening to you then you have no obligation to try to do what he wants. Sex should involve both people being pleased, not just one. Link to comment
BronzedSkin123 Posted June 2, 2008 Author Share Posted June 2, 2008 Why did you continue to have sex with him after this happened once or twice? Why did you continue the relationship? I don't know, I thought it would get better or my feelings would change. This only happened when he was kiss/suck on my breast, it just made me angry because the way he did it was so disgusting. And then how he just wouldn't listen to me when I told him I didn't like something--I would secretly want to go into a rage and just physically harm him like just take my foot and stomp him on his head. I really couldn't stand it. Sometimes when I think about it, I still want to do it. I don't know where all this is coming from though. Link to comment
MyNinja Posted June 2, 2008 Share Posted June 2, 2008 i think there may be deeper issues then just the sex...how do you feel about him outside of the bedroom? is the communication clear within the relationship? It seems you have lots of animosity with him that may be more than him just ignoring you in the bedroom...i only say this because you say you feel like kicking him in the face...thats a lot of anger I personally think he is a very bad listener as well..how does he listen to you otherwise?? Does he take u seriously? Link to comment
JadedStar Posted June 2, 2008 Share Posted June 2, 2008 When I was with my ex, the times that we did have sex I used to get angry..mainly during the foreplay, the way he would touch me and suck on my breast just made me want to kick him in the face so hard. I would just lay there with this disgusted look on my face with this desire to just sock him in his jaw. Partly because he would never touch me the way that I wanted him to. If i told him that I didn't like something he would get defensive and do it anyway. Which would make me want to go into a rage and beat him up. I still get angry when I think back about it. is this normal? I am going out on a crazy limb here but i have read so many of your threads and posts and have to ask - could you possibly be gay? Your reactions to men and sex as young as you are just seem really out there and unusual. The only thing i can gather is were you abused as a young girl or are you perhaps lesbian? YOu seem to derive almost zero enjoyment ever from your male intimate interactions. Maybe there is something deeper going on? You hate intercourse, you now hate being touched in ways that most women would find at least somewhat pleasurable, and you go so far as to not only not enjoy but want to punch him over it. LIke i said i am stretching accross a limb here, but felt compelled to ask. I am 41 and altho i can't say i have had tons of sexual partners i have had a few and can't say that at ANY age have i felt like punching someone for the things you mention. So i have to say yes, your reaction is very atypical. Link to comment
JadedStar Posted June 2, 2008 Share Posted June 2, 2008 What's wrong with you people?????? 'I wanted to kick him in the face'????? Cos she didn't like the way he made love to her......... Can you imagine if a guy came on here and said I don't like the way my girl makes love to me...I want to kick her in the face?????? Me thinks he would get a different reaction...and it wouldn't be ''oh yes your quite right to feel that way he was ignoring your needs''....more like u woman beating bleep bleep bleep I totally agree and it always bothers me when women can say things like this and it goes over without a hitch at all yet if a guy said he wanted to kick his girl in the face for touching him wrong a lynch mob would be unleashed. Its not funny or cute for someone to say this is what they want to do to someone. She put herself in the position of being intimate thereforeeee saying she would like to kick his face in for not pleasing her perfectly in my opinion reflects an abusive and selfish person who has no business even having sex until she can get her emotions into check. I have had lovers who were not the best and maybe they didn't touch me how i wanted, but if i was too passive to speak up that was my bad. I NEVER felt like inflicting violence on them because of it. Maybe because i didn't feel like sex was so paramount that if i was not pleasured perfectly i'd flip out. Geesh. This thread just flabbergasted me. Bronzedskin maybe you feel my last post was over the top asking if perhaps you are lesbian but given some of the reactions i have raed from you regarding sex with guys I am not sure if i am so off base. Link to comment
BronzedSkin123 Posted June 2, 2008 Author Share Posted June 2, 2008 No, I can't stand women. I've never been sexually attracted to one either. I only feel that way about him--I just hated the way he touched me, it felt gross and he had bad breathe too. Link to comment
JadedStar Posted June 2, 2008 Share Posted June 2, 2008 No, I can't stand women. I've never been sexually attracted to one either. I only feel that way about him--I just hated the way he touched me, it felt gross and he had bad breathe too. Then why on earth are you still having sex with him? You DO make that choice you know. If you feel like kicking someone in the face why are you letting them near your naked body? And to say "no i can't stand women"...hmmm, that is odd too. I can see you saying you are not attracted to women. But you can't "stand" them? You sound like a very angry person to me. Link to comment
BronzedSkin123 Posted June 2, 2008 Author Share Posted June 2, 2008 Then why on earth are you still having sex with him? You DO make that choice you know. If you feel like kicking someone in the face why are you letting them near your naked body? I am not still with him. I only felt that way when he sucked on my breast, he didn't do it right at all and if I would have told him, chances are he would not have listened. And that makes me angry. Now, as for oral sex I enjoyed that with him. But there were a few occasions that he had irritated me prior to oral and I was too bothered to really enjoy it. All I wanted to do was sock him in the face. As for the sexual intercourse, I think it was because I wasn't attracted to him enough. I always had issues with his height,(short guy) and it disgusted me to have this short man all over me. I guess I resented him because I wanted a guy who was much taller. And sometimes I would look at his short legs and be turned off by it. And his fingers were even short. I would be in denial about it, and felt very guilty for feeling this way about him. Very guilty. But everytime I looked at him when we got intimate I desired someone who was taller with a better build. Link to comment
JadedStar Posted June 2, 2008 Share Posted June 2, 2008 Good God. If you feel that repulsed by him dont do him anymore "favors" by geting naked with him. You act like a victim who had to bed down with this "short" guy. You made the decison to slip in between the sheets with him. Sounds selfish "oh i like him to give me oral and please me but other than that i am repulsed". To be honest given all of your threads on sex i have read from you i think you have some serious issues to resolve thru therapy before embarking on an intimate relationship. You always focus on your pleasure and being angry if it is not perfect for you but never once have i heard about how you care enough about the other person to care about his pleasure at all. Link to comment
MyNinja Posted June 2, 2008 Share Posted June 2, 2008 if you are repulsed..why waste your tiime? You're making it seem like your stuck with him...remember this...you are in charge of your own happiness...cliche, yes, but very true Link to comment
servedcold Posted June 2, 2008 Share Posted June 2, 2008 Sorry to say, but I find many women actually get angry at and resentful of the man they are with as attraction goes through its natural up and down cycles in the course of a relationship, and this spills over into sex. Have experienced very bad treatment as the "honeymoon" feelings inevitably ebb in several relationships, then complete idolization as the attraction builds again. So, no, I don't think you are particularly abnormal, just a little more blunt and honest than many... Link to comment
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.