Hardest part about breaking up with a Narcissist is...

[Hell_On_Heels]

I know how you feel. I would like to protect other women out there that he will hurt the same way he's hurt me, but I can't. I imagine your feeling is much more powerful since you know there is a child involved. But, you've already tried to talk to her and she didn't want to hear it and/or believe it. If you try any more, you will push her away from you and the truth, and closer to him. You can't save her daughter. It would be so nice if you could, for altruistic reasons, but also to validate your experience, to give your suffering some meaning. I totally get that need. But there is nothing you can do in this case except to be there if or when they need you. I'm sorry.

[smplunkett]

I am so torn on this - I believe you are right, but as an elementary school teacher - my heart goes out to the kids. For now I will do nothing - in time I should have some kind of answer - I hate this.

[smplunkett]

this is my "horrorscope" for today!!

 

Ever notice the strange nature of a construction site? You see the skeleton of a structure for months and months -- and then one day you go by and there's a brand new building standing there! Transformations in your own life can be like that -- apparently slow going, then suddenly complete. So if you're feeling frustrated at the progress you are (or aren't) making right now, buck up. Changes are happening, and before you know it, you'll wake up at the finish line!

[smplunkett]

Even though my gut told me he bought her her car, knowing the day

"his and her" matching vehicles came home I had asked her eye to eye how she could afford it on what my husband was paying her - and her reply - still looking me eye to eye - was " I just had them run my credit, and guess what? I could afford it" I knew then I was being lied to, I ran into another employee just today who told me my husband had her count the cash in his briefcase - used to buy both of them new vehicles - his is black and hers is white - you know "ying and yang" It felt like I was cut by a knife hearing this.

[sunnyv]

thank you for this thread. this is one of the best threads on here. this is better then going to the bookstore and reading about narcassism. my ex too is narcassistic. she cheated on me while i was in the hospital. it was awful. i tried to repair it but knew she was still cheating. to this day i beat myself up over it thinking i did something wrong to cause this. now i realize after reading this thread she is narcassistic. she too jumped into a relationship iwth the guy she cheated on me with the day after we broke up. disgusting huh? i just have to stop beating myself up over the break up.

[smplunkett]

He bought the vehicles 2 years ago while we were still married. She is his "office manager" in other words - she runs the escort service I learned he was running instead of a legit limousine business - she also runs the porn business I did not know he had. I am 4.5 months into learning all of this -

[MissyMolly]

...the realization that the whole relationship was a charade. A part of his script. And I was only there in a supporting role. Once he decided he didn't need me as a Supply for his narcissistic ego, he dismissed me.

However, I still get so sad - missing the good times and it kills me that those good times were just a part of his script. And then I get mad and then sad again...I guess these realizations are good. They must be a part of healing process.

 

Your words struck a chord with me. I remember seeing this thread a few months back, but I was only in the BEGINNING of my misery, so I decided that this cannot be what MY guy is. I saw your thread again last night, and stayed up until 3 in the morning researching everything you outlined and what everyone else in the thread outlined.

WHOA.

As I of tonight, I have a therapy session next week with a counseler who specializes in Narcassistic Abuse. Just doing that has relieved me enormously. I have copied down a number of things that have resonated with me and this particular piece was something I thought I would share with everyone here:

 

Heterosexual narcissists desire women as any other red-blooded male does (even more so due to the special symbolic nature of the woman in the narcissist's life – humbling a woman in acts of faintly sadomasochistic sex is a way of getting back at mother). But he is frustrated by his inability to meaningfully interact with them, by their apparent emotional depth and powers of psychological penetration (real or attributed) and by their sexuality. Their incessant demands for intimacy are perceived by him as a threat. He recoils instead of getting closer.

 

Again, wow. Without going into too much graphic detail, one of the things that bothered me about him was his inability to "finish" sexually whenever he was FACING ME. It NEVER happen once. It disturbed me endlessly. Now I understand that looking into my eyes during the act was far too intimate for him - it made him enormously uncomfortable.

 

I realize now that I gave this man far too much value, and he really fed off of that. I have not heard from him for a week now - and I hope to gawd I will be phsycologically armed when he shows up again for his "supply". I need to shift the focus off of him (which is how he manipulated it to be!), and back onto ME. Thanks for a great eye-opening thread.

[californiagal]

I had a bad break up 8 months ago, which for the first time in my life, landed me in therapy. My therapist mentioned several times that my ex was a Narcissist, but because I didn't really know anything much about the condition, I just didn't understand what that meant. I didn't understand about Narcissistic Supply, etc. But after trying to understand what happened for months, with nothing seeming to really make sense, I started to read these forums and suddenly I feel like whoa - this is all too similar.

 

Like many people have pointed out, my ex was completely over the top in the beginning. In fact, he tried bizarrely hard to date me for 2 years, because I wouldn't give him attention. He would stare really piercingly and intently into my eyes, build me up constantly, kept telling me how amazing I was in comparison to others, bragged about me to anyone who would listen, etc. The only way I decided to date him was because he basically sat me down one day and said, "I have watched you for years, and I just have this crazy feeling I am going to marry you. If you will just give me a chance, I will do X and X and X, just for a chance to get to know you." He is a goodlooking man, and I had seen his legion of female "fans" (now I know that they were always cheap sources of Narcissistic Supply), so of course I felt flattered. I knew it was crazy-ish, but I also thought, "This must be what people say when they say they fell madly in love and never looked back." He went full-throttle to get and claim me, there was almost no dating stage - we were officially a couple in a manner of days, and from the first he was talking very emphatically about our future together, the kids we would have, the places we'd travel, the things he wanted us to do together. I thought, wow, this guy is completely under my thumb - and I haven't lifted a finger. I absolutely thought he was that crazy about me. He was the boyfriend who is always staring at his girl, in that obsessed way.

 

And then, bizarrely, almost from the time he officially had me, he began devaluing me. I didn't see it til much much later. Here I was thinking I was beginning a deep, beautiful, madly in love relationship - and being trusting and unguarded, as you become when someone has been proclaiming their love for you constantly. And he, almost overnight, had begun the process of devaluing me. He had "achieved" me, enjoyed it for a couple of months, but then got bored, my esteem gave him no rush anymore - the opposite in fact. He was feeling dragged down by the very relationship he had pushed so hard to be in?!

 

But he didn't break up with me. He just suddenly started treating me badly, in small ways and then larger ways - and then might "make up for it" with some hours of gushing devotion. I had no idea why he was cooling on me, I was totally and utterly confused. We hadn't even been together long enough for me to do anything to "ruin" things - in fact, I had been trying harder and harder with him than I ever had with a boyfriend, just because he was more difficult. I was thinking that the guy who had wooed me was the real person - and it made no sense to me why a guy who seemed so desperate to find his life partner and so certain I was it, would suddenly be so disinterested and even rude and cruel to that same person - for no cause at all.

 

Of course if I had my head straight I should have dumped him, but I was lost, I was in love with the guy who fought to get me and I kept looking for him. I truly thought he "saw" me, he seemed so uniquely focused on me. I thought we had that deep connection. It kills me, but I tried for eight months, with his treatment of me getting colder and colder. Where my self-esteem was, I don't know. And I knew I was being treated like crap, but it was like my brain couldn't reconcile the guy who was over the moon about me with the guy who was before me now. I kept thinking "What is happening? What did I do?"

 

And then finally he broke up with me. My self-esteem was at zero then - I thought, "If someone who thought I was absolutely amazing breaks up with me once they get to really know me, I must just be this boring empty sham. X discarded me once he realized what I really was." It took therapy for me to even accept that I didn't change the terms of our relationship "deal" - my ex did. Because he had milked me dry as a source of validation. It had always been about conquering me and owning my esteem. Once he had it, he was done with me, I had nothing more to give.

 

My therapist pushed me to do No Contact, a week or so after the break up. I didn't understand why it was so important at the time but he seemed so insistent that I did. And IT WAS THE BEST THING I COULD HAVE DONE. I realize now, no contact was like a cold water wash plus an electric shock to my ex. He practically short circuited. My therapist said that I had taken myself out of my ex's script - he thought he had me pinned, that he knew and had me inside out. He kept trying to get me to validate him for four months, begging to talk, telling me he really wanted to stay my friend - and finally I agreed to meet. But by then I was determined not to let him manipulate me. It was really hard to see him, it hurt. But I was determined not to show him that he could affect me in any way, and I was just very normal, but gave clear signals I was over it and moving on (even though I wasn't, at all). Well, I must have done a good job. The texts and phn messages and contact stopped from that day on. He seems to realize I will not give him any more praise or validation ever again - so what good am I? All that about loving me for who I am and wanting to be my friend - bull * * * * . All he was ever interested in was knowing that he still had power over me. When he saw he didn't, he completely stopped trying to contact me.

 

It's sad. I had secretly hoped that maybe we could be friends in a year or two, but now I see that is impossible. I value myself too much to have friendships with users.

 

I don't think I could have protected myself from this situation. I simply didn't know about Narcissists, and how they operate.

[dedem]

My mother got involved with a man like that. He formed other lives, changing and altering each because the original was too boring for him. He also was afraid of being alone and was self-centered. It never mattered to him what anyone else felt so long as they flattered his ego and believed his lies. I battle the fear constantly of becoming like that, and every little move I make convinces me I'm turning out like my father. But I force myself not to lie, to let people know who I am on the inside. I can't bear turning out like him.

 

She thought it was her fault for the longest time. She thought it was her with the issue, not him. But, a few years later, she got better, and now is happily single. She could get someone, she doesn't want to, and has moved on. My father still changes his personality and choices at the drop of a hat and manipulates his new wife constantly.

 

I had to learn the hard way that with a narcissist, flattery may get you everywhere, but it still won't get you the truth. It's hard, wondering whether you ever really knew the person you thought you loved, and whether they still were that person. But in the end you learn to hate them for their lies, or at least accept that it's just the way they always will be.

[Sworddancer]

SingleAgain 34: If you were a narcissist, you wouldn't be on here OR asking that question about yourself. That takes insight; something a narcissist doesn't have!

[MissyMolly]

Of course if I had my head straight I should have dumped him, but I was lost, I was in love with the guy who fought to get me and I kept looking for him. I truly thought he "saw" me, he seemed so uniquely focused on me. I thought we had that deep connection. It kills me, but I tried for eight months, with his treatment of me getting colder and colder. Where my self-esteem was, I don't know. And I knew I was being treated like crap, but it was like my brain couldn't reconcile the guy who was over the moon about me with the guy who was before me now. I kept thinking "What is happening? What did I do?"

 

I am so sorry to hear you went through this Californiagal - it is indeed a brutal existence to be involved with a narcissist. I am still fighting my out of my relationship with one. It is horrible and I find myself wondering if I am that insane to continue to allow him to draw me in.

 

He is currently doing it again, and I am looking at my own neurosis to figure out why I have not drawn the line with him. This is the hardest thing. I am finally at the place where I know I could never have a real relationship with him (he does not deal in real - in fact, his favorite line to me, which I have heard ad nauseum, is "I can't promise you anything".) This current hurdle for me is disengaging from this freak permanently.

 

He crept back into my life in October - many calls, texts, emails later, I have managed to avoid actually meeting up with him in person (thank GAWD), but he is getting his supply from me just the same. I really hate him, but does that stop me from taking his call? No, sadly, it doesn't. But I'll get there. I just have to close my eyes and hope to gawd I get there soon.

[sunnyv]

California girl outstanding just outstanding stuff. Thank you I needed this today. I decided to start the new year off with nc to my narcassistic ec. I felt bad for not texting her back on new years eve but I needed to start a new chapter. She has hurt me too many times with lies and cheating. I need to be away from her. She would text me everyday and I would respond thinking just maybe she missed me and would want me back. But nope it was all just texts to boost her ego till she would hang out with her bf.

 

I need to start anew even if it means I don't get texts and my life isboring for awhile I'm okay with that.

[orillia]

When I first read JUST the subject header of your post, I wanted to finish your sentence off with "NOTHING."

 

I had a bf who was an abusive narcissist. There was absolutely NOTHING hard about breaking up with him. He was a horrible person and I was glad to be out of it. Th eonly thing I mourned was the year I wasted putting up with his mess.

[orillia]

You're so right about that. I am a writer-have been since I was a kid. After breaking up w my abusive narcissist, I started writing a book. It started with short excerpts because it was too painful to write about this stuff for too long. But nobody, even myself, could read about the situation I wrote about, and not realize how crazy this guy was. When you're in it, you can't see the forests for the trees. But a little time, space, and distance, and you just think back and ask yourself, "What was I THINKING staying w/this guy?"" I know I did!

 

Yes, I think it's normal for you to question yourself (based on my experience with a guy who had narcissistic traits). But, as time goes on and you meet more normal people you'll realize it wasn't you. One thing that sort of put things into perspective for me was when I would be talking to close friends online or via email (my closest friends are in my hometown, so since I moved we communicate electronically a lot), and I would go to tell them about something my ex did...and suddenly while typing out the details it would strike me that his behavior wasn't normal. Then I would feel sort of ashamed for not being able to see this before.

 

Sometimes you have to get things out or even say them to yourself before you're really able to see the problem for what it is.

[Jewels7]

I wonder if my ex had something like that. I mean... something is wrong I think. He didn't really have friends (when we broke up in November he moved accross the country to be with people he met off XBox). He worked menial jobs. He got fired from one job (for stealing and pot I found out later). He could have gone to jail, but his boss is a really nice guy and decided not to charge him. Yet, he started talking crap about his boss. He is also very cocky and brags and would talk about how the place he worked is going down the drain without him and such. Yet at the same time he was so charming. Honestly I didn't have a clue about any of this until the end of our relationship (3 years, 4 months). I know now that he isn't the person I thought he was... but I'm still in love with that person.

[californiagal]

I just wanted to add some personal details for those of you who are thinking about cutting off contact with a narcissist ex, but are having a hard time conceptualizing it.

 

I cut off all contact a week after a break up, but there is no way I would have been able to see the value of this at the time - in fact the necessity of this, for my absolutely shattered self-esteem - if a therapist hadn't stressed it, over and over and over.

 

I was in love with my ex, so of course the thought of no contact was unthinkable - I not just still wanted him in my life, I wanted him back. My therapist was only able to get me to consider cutting contact by rationally convincing me that if there was ever a hope of repairing the relationship, "getting him back", I had no choice but to do no contact - because people do not love who they do not respect, and my ex had clearly lost respect for me. So if I needed to rewrite his perceptions of me - swiftly, with no explanation, because the longer it went on, the harder it would be to turn my ex's lack or respect around.

 

So, to be honest, that is the only way I was able to start No Contact - I at first thought of it as erasing my ex's impression of me as predictable and under his thumb, forcing him to miss me and reevaluate me. To be able to go through with it, I told myself I was just "taking a little space to think" (and that is how I phrased it to my ex). At first my ex was gracious and totally unfazed - in his mind, even my saying I needed space fit his narcissistic needs, because it meant that he had rocked my world by leaving me. He thought I'd take a few days to have a little cry and make a show of being independent, and then I'd be back, and we'd be on our way to a future where he could still call me whenever, we'd hang out when he wanted to, he could flirt with me whenever he needed to feel sexy and desirable, have the constant assurance that he was loved by someone. Even my future achievements and successes in life would fit his narcissistic needs, because I was his property, if he had owned and discarded me.

 

 

But it didn't happen that way. I never consciously thought about how long I would stay out of contact, I just thought well, I'll know I'm able to start talking again when I feel confident, when I know he can't rattle me or have the upper hand. So he'd text a few times a week, probing little messages, and I'd respond in the most short, boring, cliched way possible (because I knew him well enough to know that if I didn't, he'd take that as me being "too devastated" by him to be civil, when I normally am with everyone, which would feed his ego even more). But I never sent a text or called on my own, and let calls go to voicemail.

 

It didn't even take a week or two before he was getting agitated, wondering when I'd be ready to talk on the phone, to hang out. I just texted back, "You know, space feels really good. I have a lot of clarity on many things." I gave him no idea whatsoever when or if I'd ever talk to him or be in his life again, and in what way - because I myself had no idea. I kept waiting for him to do or say something that would make my decision clear. It never came. What I got instead was more and more fishing for validation. Flirty texts out of the blue. Invitations to visit and stay. Texts saying he missed my voice. But no real or substantive action in terms of repairing the break up he initiated.

 

So I kept up with no contact. After four months of his probing and wheedling, finally I agreed to meet him once for dinner, when I was already at a point where I could see quite clearly (and it was a very sad realization, of course) that all he really wanted from me now was to keep me on his hook, not to get me back as a legitimate partner. So I only met with him to send him the opposite message, in a subtle way, by having a "normal" dinner with him as if he was just any distant acquaintance, or a coworker I was just having a Happy Hour beer with - and not a person who was once so important to me. But he kept fishing that night, looking at other women and then looking at me to see if I was jealous, even telling me he "wasn't over me, he couldn't even talk to other women because they weren't me" etc. He was literally waiting for me to say "Oh, I'm not over you either, etc., etc" and just feed his Ego Beast. But I just laughed, and said "Wow, how flattering!", as if he didn't say anything of great emotional importance. I knew his game. And he looked at me as if he couldn't believe that I would be so dismissive and unconcerned by his manipulative little "confession".

 

And we have had no contact since that night. He stopped reaching out to me once he saw I was no longer going to blindly fulfill his ego needs, and that if he wanted to be friends (as he desperately claimed he wanted to be), he would actually have to step up and be a normal caring person - like all my other friends. And why would he want to be that? That requires work and (gasp!) interest in another person!

 

Mutual acquaintance say he is actually down (I cut off his Narcissistic Supply before he had another source in place - he thought I'd see him through til the next girlfriend, I'm sure) and quite angry about it, he is telling people I can't handle it, that is why I cut him off. And while it is frustrating to have some people think I am too "weak" to have even simple, civil dealings with ex-boyfriends, I simply don't go around offering explanations like "No, I didn't cut him off because he broke my heart and I can't get over it - I cut him off because he's a flawed human, a big gaping ego black hole, and I refuse to let his using me go on any longer." I know in my heart that is the truth, so he can say what he likes to fit his ego needs, and people can believe what they like.

 

But I feel like I got a large portion of my pride back, just by refusing to be who he had decided I was. No contact enabled me to say "Nope, wrong, you have the wrong person." I am so, so grateful that I ended up doing what my therapist insisted on, even if my initial motivations were totally opposite.

[MissyMolly]

Well, that was enormously insightful and very, VERY helpful. Thank you for sharing your experience - it was wonderful to see how you handled it.

 

I must confess, I am day 3 into NC (oh yes, I have been on day 3 about a million times this year....) and I had a rather unsettleing conversation with him about 2 weeks ago, when he was ONCE again complaining about his ex-wife. He suddenly said, "Do you have any idea what it's like to be in a relationship with a NARCISSIST?"

 

OMG - I about blew my wine outta my nose when he uttered that. I actually was rendered speechless for a moment. I could not believe he said that. I sort of sputtered, and stuttered, and finally, quietly said, "Uh, yes, I have considered that YOU are a narcissist!" He was stunned. And then he very quickly he recovered and stated that he was NOT a narcissist.

 

This actually made me laugh. Oh my. This is such a crazy ride to be on..... I hope to hell it ends soon. I have a lot of work to do.

[orillia]

Reading all of these posts, everything feels so familiar. MY ex right after my divorce was a narcissist, verbal and emotional abuser. Our rel'ship followed this pattern to a tee. Worship, charm, loving behavior for oh, a couple of months then...subtle digs at you. Mine would call me stupid if I asked him to explain something. He started criticizing my body, esp my breasts. We were engaged in foreplay once and he said wistfully, "I miss big b**bs." I should have walked away then and there.

 

He subtly started criticizing my wardrobe. After a good amount of time, he even got me to toss out some of my favorite clothing items. He coerced me into buying the kind of clothes HE wanted to see me in -conservative, plain. He would reject me in subtle ways. He'd tell me I smelled funny. He'd decide he didn't want me to stay over his place because I had too many "acne scars' (actually, that was one of the last straws. By then I was ready to leave.)

 

Yeah, and I'm leaving out all the yelling, over nothing. I didn't have to do anything to get a verbal tongue lashing. I could just leave his kitchen cabinet open, and he'd be accusing me of passive aggressive behavior and scream at me for hours. HOrrible. So glad I'm out of that.

[orillia]

That made me laugh because my narcsisistic ex was convinced his MOTHER is a narcissist. And actually, she is. But he failed to see that the apple didn't fall far.

[jjbinks]

I was also in love with a selfish narcassistic person, and the worst part is the manipulation. they make you believe that they are real and that everything they do is for you, but in truth they always come before you. In sex, in deciding what you want to do, in your plans for a future, in the holidays, in the whole relationship. And they somehow trick you into believing you are the crazy one. I loved reading your post btw, it was very eloquent!

[MissyMolly]

He started criticizing my body, esp my breasts. We were engaged in foreplay once and he said wistfully, "I miss big b**bs." I should have walked away then and there.

 

Horrendous. Simply horrendous. That is some effed up thinking. And it stings horribly. I was lucky enough that my ex never verbalized why I was no longer "good enough" for him - he just began to "cool off" 3 months into it. I could just tell something was off. But I coudn't figure out why. So, while I escaped the verbal devaluing, but he began to devalue me silently which in a way messed with my head even more than if he had actually verbalized it. I feel though, that he knew my fuzzy boundaries enough at that point that he knew he would have lost me as a supply source if he had verbalized them. So, his game was just to subtlely pull away, say hurtful things like "You know I am seeing other women, right?" - things like that would crush me. Yet, I soildiered on. I wish I had never returned his call the day after he laid that "other women" declaration on me.

[sunnyv]

why do they act like their new partner that they left us for is perfect and better than us and everything they ever wanted and how they will never look at another person again. in my case my ex has moved on with the guy she cheated on me with and acts better now then me and even said to me she would never cheat on him ever. it makes me feel worthless.

[Starrgrl]

When he turns it around and makes me the bad guy. And being me, I end up feeling guilty. Lol he's good at manipulation.

[Starrgrl]

I was also in love with a selfish narcassistic person, and the worst part is the manipulation. they make you believe that they are real and that everything they do is for you, but in truth they always come before you. In sex, in deciding what you want to do, in your plans for a future, in the holidays, in the whole relationship. And they somehow trick you into believing you are the crazy one. I loved reading your post btw, it was very eloquent!

 

hahahhaa boyy does this ring some bells.

[Ariana9]

Ok, people, we are all describing the same person, who also happens to be my ex, but since our relationship was such a SHAM, I can't even call him my ex! He is AN X! Hahahaha. Anyone ever notice how ironic it is that these NPD people think they are soooo special and unique, but they are actually all the damn same? There are small variations of the same thing- they are like different christmas tree ornaments, but still all christmas tree ornaments.

 

Hallmarks of my Somatic Malignant NPD "X":

 

-obsession with the appearance of young women, and factoring ME into it as if I was also an object. Did not complain about my body, but idealized it as "perfect" and complained whenever I shielded my nudity from his oogling!!!!!!!!!!! Even if it was b/c I was cold and did not want to be naked, or when I was injured and could not have my injured body part touched! He complained about my injury preventing HIM from snuggling the way he wanted to!

 

-believes he can "love multiple people at the same time". Knows nothing about what real love is.

 

-serial cheater. Will sleep with ANYONE who shows him attention (Narcissistic Supply)

-of course, lies about it and concocts crazy deceptive stories laced with many "partial" truths to leave you guessing and scratching your head.

 

-awful with money, bordering on bankruptcy despite making a hefty 6-figure income w/ no expenses other than car payment (his choice on car, too), student loans & cell phone (no rent or mortgage). Buys impulsively, lavishly, thoughtlessly, and VERY materialistic.

 

-tried to change my appearance, from the glasses I wore, to the clothes I wore, etc. Complained if I would not comply, put me down for MY choice of clothing, and never appreciated my own trends and fashion preferences. Even mocked me for wearing my own clothes and tried to get others to, as well.

 

-hates children and HATES his mother.

 

-hated my mom, too, even though my mom never did anything to him and my family blindly accepted him as one of their own.

 

-uncomfortable in social situations unless he is talking about himself. otherwise aloof and/or cocky. Has opinions on everyone in a social setting even although he hasn't talked to them at length.

 

-JEALOUSY like I have never seen before, of other men in my life (male friends, ex's, male classmates, co-workers, etc. anyone who is under the age of 40). Claims male friends show interest in me when we are clearly platonic. Also tried to go with me to see my male friend, uninvited.

Ended up snooping through my email and laptop.

 

-Sexually perverse and demanding while ironically not being so great in bed (impotent sometimes!) Would almost never initiate sex, but complained incessantly he was not getting enough. Failed to see my initiation efforts as such, still complained regardless if HE did not respond to my initiation efforts!

 

-talked about his ex's body parts with me (sexually), both good and bad according to him. Like I cared...!

 

-thought having a MENSA award means he is better/smarter than other people. LOL. He is really much stupider than other people-- other people have emotional and social sense!

 

-was mean and rude to waitstaff and airline attendants, obnoxious and embarrassing very often, very demanding and always trying to play games to get what he wanted from them (special, royal treatment)

 

-was drawn to other Narcissists or big names as role models (ie famous people or royalty)

 

-wanted to keep me very close, but also very far away.

 

-extremely controlling and petty

 

-would go into rages easily. Was verbally and emotionally abusive. Would apologize afterward and tell me I didn't deserve it.

 

-rationalized his lying (after found out) by saying he was trying to "protect" people he lied to.

 

-would tell other people erroneous, negative information about me in order to get the other people to tell him what a b*tch I was, or some such thing, in order to hear what he wanted about me which would excuse his wrongdoings to me. No wonder his friends who never met me, didn't like me! Then told me his friends didn't like me, to dissuade me from wanting to meet them....

 

-would wait until I made a very small mistake and then do something HUGE and revolting to me, and claim my small mistake preceded his huge mess, so it was justified somehow. Would also use any mistakes I made to gain sympathy from other people and exploit their sympathy.

 

-even thinks he is above washing his hands after he takes a dump because his "immune system is strong". Now if that ain't the epitome of Narcissism right there, I don't know what is!

 

-thinks he has the power to do anything he puts his mind to -including "changing" for his latest sex toy, the last woman he cheated on me with. Now thinks he is suddenly not a cheater and not a liar because he just decided not to be.

 

What do you think, folks? Do you this his latest girl will be the one to finally cure him? LOL LOL Don't you want to be her?

 

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