make love or have sex?

[SpeedingCars]

I have read in articles that making love is a spiritual/emotional/mental bond with your SO... while having sex is purely physical with little or no emotional attachment.

 

I was wondering... HOW do you make love? I know it's a stupid question, but it seems when I have sex with my SO, it's satisfying but I don't feel some sort of "pure bliss" explosion where I feel a powerful bond with him... we just have intercourse when we're in the mood, then come out feeling energetic and happy with each other.

 

But we don't have some sort of intimate conversation about our fears, dreams, hopes, etc. beforehand. We just get in the mood, start making out, then have intercourse. Is that normal? I mean, is that how it always starts out? We have deep feelings with each other, but it's nothing that you see in the movies where we feel like we're each other's soulmates and want to spend forever and eternity with each other. We just take everything day by day. (If it helps, we are both 19)

 

I guess what I'm trying to say is, how do you initiate making love instead of "just having sex"? Do you have to have some sort of passionate/intimate conversation first? How can you differentiate between the two (making love/having sex)?

 

Sorry if this is confusing... I don't know quite how to word it in a way that makes sense.

[Cognitive_Canine]

after making love, you should feel closer to your SO. You're worried about their enjoyment.

[SpeedingCars]

When you just have sex, don't you feel closer to your SO anyways?... that's why I'm confused. He's my only partner, so I don't have any comparisons or anything.

[ghost69]

sex is animalistic

 

love is all soft and sensual and bonding

[Sunshine311]

I think that maybe you have been watching too many soap opera's. Making love doesn't mean the next hour is spent in bed cooing over each other, declaring your love, and talking about dreams and the future.

 

Making love is when you have intercourse with someone you truly love, and afterwards your connection to him feels so much stronger and more powerful. This is in opposition to say a one night stand (sex), where afterwards you're just tired, sweaty, and you go home. Sex is purely for physical pleasure where there's no emotional bond.

 

I think when you're in a meaningful relationship it's always making love. Whether it's a quicky, a long gentle lovemaking session, or some dirty kinky sex, the connection and the bond are always very strongly felt afterward.

[SpeedingCars]

Sunshine311, I think I HAVE been brainwashed - watching too many sappy movies and whatnot!

 

It's relieving to know that making love can also be "dirty and kinky"... I always felt that never qualified as making love, simply because it wasn't gentle or anything.

[Cognitive_Canine]

Yeah, don't worry. Making love can involve feathers and whips...haha

[Sunshine311]

Sunshine311, I think I HAVE been brainwashed - watching too many sappy movies and whatnot!

 

It's relieving to know that making love can also be "dirty and kinky"... I always felt that never qualified as making love, simply because it wasn't gentle or anything.

 

Well, some may disagree, but that's my take on it. No matter what kind of sex my husband and I have, I always feel more connected to him afterwards.

 

Now tone down on the soaps and chick flicks! LOL

[jengh]

ugh, i HATE the term "making love". I think it's so cheesy and corny.

[DropToZero]

Well...since I like dancing, this is my favorite quote to explain what I think the difference is between sex...and making love...

 

"For someone who makes porn movies, all they are doing is having sex. No emotions, no feelings. Just actions. Just movement. And it's just two people going through the movements with no real connectivity. They move in relation TO each other.

 

For someone who is making love, there are all the emotions, the feelings, the passion, the tenderness, the desire... and the two bodies link up as one, their breaths sync up, their heart rates, they feelings for one another. Their souls join together, for that moment in time, inseparable. They move in relation WITH each other." --- Inventfmc

 

of course he has more to this post he made, but that's not relevant to this discussion...

[amtjrtcet]

sex is animalistic

 

love is all soft and sensual and bonding

 

I vote for the animal!

[Superfreak]

"Making love" is just what I say to proposition a girl I'm dating for sex without it seeming tawdry and without her feeling like a wh*re for agreeing to it.

[KG]

Making love is bonding, having sex is getting your cookies crunched!

[ghost69]

I vote for the animal!

 

girl after my heart.

[greywolf]

hmmm. One time my gf said to me that she didn't want to have sex anymore. And I was like, ok..... if that's what you want... (all confused about why she wanted this), and then she said she wanted to make love. Then I started laughing because they're the same thing! Then she started explaining to me why they were different, but I didn't understand. After a year and a half together I think I'm starting to understand the difference, but still not so easy.

[15 Storeys High]

Having sex is all about the physical urges.

 

Making love is all about the eyes.

[KG]

Having sex is all about the physical urges.

 

Making love is all about the eyes.

 

VERY WELL PUT!

[Portage]

Having sex is all about the physical urges.

 

Making love is all about the eyes.

 

I concur, well stated.