Post your online dating horror stories

[amure]

man this cracked me up

wicca chant rofl

[Mock Chop]

I recently went on my first online date. It was....umm....different. We'd chatted on MSN, briefly on the phone right before the date - I thought he had potential. My heart sank a little the minute I clapped eyes on him. He was weedier than he appeared in his photo, but fair enough, it's hard to judge these things. Shorter too.

 

I should have listened to the warning signs beforehand. He had said that on the date he would 'watch my body language' and take his cues from that. He also said that he didn't laugh out loud a lot, but maybe I could be the person to make him do that. What am I, the court jester?! I had to drag info out of him, and the final straw was when he admitted that he had taken an ebook on dating/relationships/finding a partner with him to 'give us something to talk about'.

 

Needless to say, there was no spark on my part. At all. I just felt he was following some sort of script from some sort of crappy ebook and there was nothing spontaneous or heartfelt about anything that came from his mouth. He tried to be deep and interesting but came accross as reticent and boring.

[Stambler]

Oh dear, this thread has opened the floodgates. I must have the WORST experiences with on-line dating!

 

My fav...

 

I started IMing with this woman on Plentyoffish and we chatted alost all night and into the early morning. She was sounding a bit too eagar, a bit too quickly.... but she was very attractive (yep, that's where my mind was).

 

So, next night we chatted again, then talked on the phone. I gave her my e-mail addres and the following day I received a photo shoot of her taking a bubble bath! Hmmmmmmmmmm

 

She invited me out the following Frdiay and said she was having dinner with her girlfriend, so we could meet for drinks after. I decided to bring along my friend for a "double date".

 

We met, and yes, she was stunning, but she was all over me, she acted as if she had found her soumate - scary! But we continued on. We had a passionate goodnight kiss and planned for a romantic dinner the following weekend.

 

On the way to the car, my friend said "I'd be careful with that one if I were you..." I asked what that meant and he siad "While you and [bubble Bath Girl] were playing pool, her friend told me that she was married and her husband had NO IDEA that she was stepping out on him"

 

Never heard from her again!

[Stambler]

My therapist says he spends his entire week listening to people about their terrible on-line dating experiences!

 

Someone needs to write a book!

[metrogirl]

My therapist says he spends his entire week listening to people about their terrible on-line dating experiences!

 

Someone needs to write a book!

 

Let's start the book here.....It could be authored by many

 

Lesson one, stay away from girls that take pics of themselves in the bath.

 

Lesson two, Keep all smelly moldy shoes in your house. Never leave them in a dates car.

 

Lesson three......If you are 300 lbs please don't say you are 150, most people have decent enough eye sight to figure this out.

 

Lesson four........Please check your ad for number transposing errors.

Too many men accidently type 5'10 instead of 5'01.

[Stambler]

LMFAO MG!!!!!!!!

 

These are my experiences.... wait is that why you posted them?????

 

Let's start the book here.....It could be authored by many

 

Lesson one, stay away from girls that take pics of themselves in the bath.

 

Lesson two, Keep all smelly moldy shoes in your house. Never leave them in a dates car.

 

Lesson three......If you are 300 lbs please don't say you are 150, most people have decent enough eye sight to figure this out.

 

Lesson four........Please check your ad for number transposing errors.

Too many men accidently type 5'10 instead of 5'01.

[metrogirl]

bathlady was for you Stammie.......

 

Smelly shoes and number transposing for me.

[metrogirl]

I was so tired of seeing men list their height at 5'10 and when we meet face to face I'm like.....WTH? where is the rest of you?

[Stambler]

^ Too funny! I ALWAYS mention to them that I am only 5'5" tall, because women DO NOT like short men, I found this out!

 

My bigest problem is the body description women use, here's my translation:

 

Athletic and Toned - These women may have been athletic when they were teenagers 30 years ago...

 

Slender - This really means "I probably only need to lose 20 pounds"

 

About Average - This means FAT...and a huge ASS, afterall, that is average for America

 

Curvy - Code word for VERY FAT with multiple rolls and double chin

 

A Few Extra Pounds - This means "I have to purchase 2 tickets when I fly"

[metrogirl]

^^too funny Stammie......

[CallingAllAngels]

^ Too funny! I ALWAYS mention to them that I am only 5'5" tall, because women DO NOT like short men, I found this out!

 

My bigest problem is the body description women use, here's my translation:

 

Athletic and Toned - These women may have been athletic when they were teenagers 30 years ago...

 

Slender - This really means "I probably only need to lose 20 pounds"

 

About Average - This means FAT...and a huge ASS, afterall, that is average for America

 

Curvy - Code word for VERY FAT with multiple rolls and double chin

 

A Few Extra Pounds - This means "I have to purchase 2 tickets when I fly"

 

ROFLMAO...

 

this is too funny just because I KNOW all your stories!!!!

[metrogirl]

I would totally date a short guy....Just don't appreciate being lied to......If you say you are 5'10 then I expect to at least see you at 5'8 or 5'9.......But when you say your are 5'10 and we meet face to face and we are eye level or I can see the top of your head then we have a small problem......hahahaha

[Stambler]

I would totally date a short guy....Just don't appreciate being lied to......If you say you are 5'10 then I expect to at least see you at 5'8 or 5'9.......But when you say your are 5'10 and we meet face to face and we are eye level or I can see the top of your head then we have a small problem......hahahaha

 

We short men like that because...

 

"Nose to nose our toes are in it and toes to toes are nose is in it!"

 

I can't tell you how many women have turned me down due to my height, even women shorter than I...

[metrogirl]

We short men like that because...

 

"Nose to nose our toes are in it and toes to toes are nose is in it!"

 

I can't tell you how many women have turned me down due to my height, even women shorter than I...

 

Well we all know that people are shallow.....I think to some degree we are all guilty of it one way or another.

 

In the past I wasn't attracted to short men, but as I have grown and matured I realize that I'm not going to find my perfect man by limiting myself to what I think will make the best boyfriend. Yes tall men are nice to look at, but I have come accross some amazing men that are shorter that have superior personalities. To think that I have shunned some of these men back in the day......I may have had the love of my life near me and not even know it.

[Stambler]

Well we all know that people are shallow.....I think to some degree we are all guilty of it one way or another.

 

In the past I wasn't attracted to short men, but as I have grown and matured I realize that I'm not going to find my perfect man by limiting myself to what I think will make the best boyfriend. Yes tall men are nice to look at, but I have come accross some amazing men that are shorter that have superior personalities. To think that I have shunned some of these men back in the day......I may have had the love of my life near me and not even know it.

 

 

Well, nothin wrong with being upfront abuot it. Hey, some women like to wear heels and feel uncomfortable towering over their man - I understand that. But women who are 5'0 or 5'3" telling me "Sorry, I like men 5'10" or taller, they make me feel secure..."

 

W T F ?

 

That would be like me saying "Sorry, I prefer women with huge boobs....they make me feel secure"

 

LOL

[metrogirl]

Stammies dating pre-requisite.......D's or DD's please......He needs to feel secure......

 

LOL

[dreamwarrior]

hahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa reading this I am laughing so hard I nearly fell off the bed with my laptop.....lmao

[dreamwarrior]

This is the best thread I ever read....sooooooooooo funny...right now my roommate is passed out drunk in his room...I am going to tell him this story tomorrow....forget about the breaking up site...we should all be on this one and be laughing our bloody heads off.

[dreamwarrior]

Let's start the book here.....It could be authored by many

 

Lesson one, stay away from girls that take pics of themselves in the bath.

 

Lesson two, Keep all smelly moldy shoes in your house. Never leave them in a dates car.

 

Lesson three......If you are 300 lbs please don't say you are 150, most people have decent enough eye sight to figure this out.

 

Lesson four........Please check your ad for number transposing errors.

Too many men accidently type 5'10 instead of 5'01.

 

Lesson five..... watch out for the big floppy doggie B**bs

 

and Lesson six......and most of all watch out for the dirty underpants and the wicked witch on her broom who comes down to leave a mark around your car

 

God I haven't laughed this long and hard in ages..hahaha

[dreamwarrior]

Well, nothin wrong with being upfront abuot it. Hey, some women like to wear heels and feel uncomfortable towering over their man - I understand that. But women who are 5'0 or 5'3" telling me "Sorry, I like men 5'10" or taller, they make me feel secure..."

 

W T F ?

 

That would be like me saying "Sorry, I prefer women with huge boobs....they make me feel secure"

 

LOL

 

well maybe if you got lost at sea you could use her boobs to float on...hahahaha

 

Sorry Stambler I couldn't resist that one....smiles

[claro]

met this guy online. He lives in another city. We have been talking for almost 3 months without seeing each other. We just exchanged pictures. From the picture,I didn't really like him physically,he wasn't my type of guys.But,I liked the way he thinks,he talks, and he looked that he is the kind of guy who is caring...so I didn't care about the pictures anymore. So,we have been talking all this period over the phone,I really started having feelings for him,and he was showing so much affection and he started making plans; we were getting along very well together, and he said I was the best one he could talk to and and and ...I didn't want to hurry since we never met...

so after 3 months,we decided to meet...When I saw him,I was so lost and anxious(anyone who looked at me that day could say it). I didn't talk,he was trying to start conversation and I was just saying 'yeah"..so I barely talked..I looked like a retarded and my face stared making all these faces (I dont know how).Maybe I was just afraid. We had lunch together, and he dropped me off and he said we will meet later in the evening,

After the meeting,I waited for him to call,but he didnt...I knew that I acted weird,but come on I was TALKING to HIM for 3 months,so he knows me for real,I am not like that,I was just under pressure.

I called him after 3 hrs,I asked him for his reaction,and he said that he was confused when he saw me,and that I looked better in the pictures,and that he needs time to analyse the whole situation,he didnt like the first impression I made!he asked me if we can meet tomorrow or the day after (I said no there is no need),and he didnt insist as well....he called me at night and I didnt reply and he never called back,knowing that he came to the same city where I am just to see me!

Now I have the worst feeling ever,I was never treated this way,he humilated me...I dont know where all this time we spent together was lost..I feel bad,I want to cry just to relax but I didnt,I feel that I am going to explode!

like did I look that ugly so that he just run like that.I dated the hottest guys before,and it was never this way...so why did he do that to me????

What do you think???

plzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz HELP ME

[Zepp]

He humiliated you?

 

May I remind you:

You didn't talk to him.

You made weird faces at him.

You made it obvious you were uncomfortable being around him.

 

Yes, he does know a part of you from talking to you online... but if he doesn't like you in real life, then that doesn't really matter now does it?

[annie24]

oh hon - sorry about that! sounds like you got a big case of the nerves. i'd say in the future, don't spend 3 months getting to know each other online. just meet in person after exchanging a few emails. don't build things up. and try to calm down. sometimes if i am nervous for a date, i'll have 1 glass of wine beforehand (1, not 5!!!!!) you have to be relaxed so he can get to know the real you. i'm sorry it didn't work out. besides, you said you weren't all that attracted to him, so it sounds like it wasn't a match on both accounts.

 

a tip i read from "The Rules" - when you are nervous on the first date, just pretend you are a famous actress who shows up to do a cameo appearance on a TV show. just show up, be yourself, don't overthink or over-act things.

 

good luck in the future.

[mgirl]

I met a freaky older woman recently.

 

She moved me from the site onto her personal email almost straight away.

 

When i offered her my number, she replied with hers, challenging me to call her.

 

When i called, she had her phone on silent, and no voicemail. A few hours later, she messages me (like, how did she know it was me when she'd never even spoken to me?) telling me her phone was on silent and that she'd had a "big weekend" and was going to bed. At 9pm?

 

Then i get this message a few days later, announcing that she'd call me, but she'd just lost her job. As if i care by this stage.

 

I send her a brief message explaining my condolensces but that was about it.

 

She then rings me 5-7 days later, from a different number and announces that she wanted to "get me by surprise"... I'm like, what's that all about? And then she kept telling me it was a 'joke', like i was stupid not to get it. After a very uncomfortable few minutes, i mumble something about it being an inconvenient time (well, it was dinner time) and i sensed condescention in her voice again. (Like, don't normal people have dinner?)... She then announces that she'll call me again some other time. I'm thinking, please don't.

 

So, now i have this weirdo with my phone no. She seemed alright online, but what a bush pig in real life. Omg.

[annie24]

weird. that sounds more like a 14 year old than a grown mature woman! you'd think people would have learned by now! i'd tell her that you've moved on, if she does call you again.