finding the right partner...

[wtm78]

i think that looking for a girlfriend or boyfriend is easy.. but how can we find the right partner?

 

open for discussions...

[Jayar]

Jee, I just don't settle. I figure if someone isn't working out, it's on to the next person. I don't sit around "working on" a relationship early on. If you ask me (and you did, indirectly) I think that more than half of people are in relationships so unacceptable they'd be better of single. But they're also so afraid to be alone they don't chance the (gasp!) being alone.

 

It's largely why people cheat, and largely why you can meet the most awesome person and have this great connection, but he/she (or you!) are already "taken" and so at best you start off on the wrong foot, and at worst you never see them again. It's stupid really.

 

Me? I'm planning on being single and living my life until I meet the one guy who makes me want to live a life with him.

[renaissancewoman101]

Jayar, it's not a matter of settling. Sometimes with relationships, one has to be open and understanding and willing to "work" on issues, PROVIDED that BOTH want to work on the issues and get to a better place. It can't be a one-sided thing, but also, to say that you don't settle or want to work on issues, in a way, can be writing off people too. We all have issues in life, whether we want to admit it or not.

[metrogirl]

Finding the perfect woman is easy. Just look for a hot naked woman struggling down the side of a road as she tries to haul a keg of your favorite beer back to her sorority house of women who are too poor to afford clothes.

 

That was funny.......LOL

[wtm78]

i think it is all about finding someone with the right values and commitment and self esteem, and responsibility, and integrity, and the right attitude towards life...

 

things like how you view finances, and how to bring you a child and life goals are all important aspecet to consider...

[anggrace]

Having similar values are extrememly important to me. With that comes the whole package; Honesty and trust, respect, appreciation, family, ethics, ect. It also has a lot to do with having compatible personalities. It doesn't matter how much you have in common or how attracted you are if your personalities clash.

 

As far as finding this person, I believe I have. I wasn't by any means looking and It wasn't even someone I would of considered had I not taken the time to get to know him.

[ghost69]

you just have to keep looking until someone fits you.

[MD Geist]

Well I have givin up on trying but I do believe you'll find tons of prospects and possiblitlys.

 

Find the match out of the bunch is the challenge.

[wtm78]

Having similar values are extrememly important to me. With that comes the whole package; Honesty and trust, respect, appreciation, family, ethics, ect. It also has a lot to do with having compatible personalities. It doesn't matter how much you have in common or how attracted you are if your personalities clash.

 

As far as finding this person, I believe I have. I wasn't by any means looking and It wasn't even someone I would of considered had I not taken the time to get to know him.

 

its what i do too... feels like looking for a needle in a pile of hay stack...

[Maya_A]

anggrace wrote: I wasn't by any means looking and It wasn't even someone I would of considered had I not taken the time to get to know him.

 

Great point... In taking the time to get to know someone, someone that we really weren't particularly outright considering as a partner, we can discover beautiful things that we never would have.... I would say to OP that one at least potential path in increasing the odds of meeting someone special, is to be open to talking with & getting to know a wide range women. Some you may realize you don't "jive" with & might not keep interacting, others might become friends, and yet one might become a significant other...

 

you just have to keep looking until someone fits you.

^^^

I also really like what Ghost says.... It's very simple but very true... As maddening as it can seem, patience and faith in all of this is important, and helpful in just living it...

[wtm78]

well said maya...sometimes they just dont come in the package you are expecting them to be..

[Superfreak]

I guess to do so the first step is to determine for yourself what the right partner would be. Generally it's easier to know what we don't want then what we do want so maybe it's helpful to compose a list of dealbreakers (which should never be rigid by the way) and things you can't accept.

 

For example if you don't want a party girl, you might reconsider your dating strategy of meeting girls at college parties. Likewise the person shouldn't be a clone of you, they should instead compliment you. For instance if you're a career driven man whose job requires you move around often, then finding a career driven woman whose climbing the corporate ladder and wouldn't be willing to move around with you wouldn't be a good idea.

[wtm78]

i guess when i started this thread.. i am trying to say... it is easy to determine what kind of person you are looking for...

 

but finding that person is another thing.. and how do you do that?

 

how do you find that person? the right partner?

[chippero]

When I talk to people who are seeking to find a partner, the first question I always ask is "what is it that you want" or "what is it that you are wanting to find." Finding a partner has many facets to it and knowing what it is that you are seeking probably should be the first thing you have to determine before you can move on any further.