I want my ex back but this situation is really weird :-)

[crazyworld]

Hey me and my ex have been broke up for like almost 2 years now and we have talked on the internet and the phone once in a while the whole 2 years we have been broke up even though ive pretty much stayed single and she had a new realationship and fell in love with this other guy but after all this is said and done they broke up a few weeks ago and we started to hang out once in a while again and i enjoyed it but the first day i screwed up by bringing up how much i wanted her back and she said that i wasent her type of guy anymore and that she just wants to be friends. The guy that she fell head over heels for after her and her bf broke up just told her that he doesnt really want much to do with her after they made out and all this other stuff. So shes really depressed and keeps talking about how ugly she is and how guys suck and how theres no good guys out there anymore and all that stuff. She also always talks about how much she liked this other guy and all the things she did with him and all the things she did with her ex too right in front of me and its really weird and makes me feel i dont know how to explain it but it dont feel right. I dont understand why she talks about this stuff in front of me and thinks that i like hearing about it and im a good guy and i would treat her right and make things great this time but she doesnt act like i exsist in this catagorey so i just kept my mouth shut and didnt say anything but i did tell her that shes not fat and not ugly and all that stuff when she kept saying it but i dont what i can to do why does she talk about this stuff in front of me and how do i tell without asking her questions about us which she hates to talk about i can tell that. How do i tell if she secretly does still kind of like me or what? What signs do i look for? Does she really not like me like that at all anymore how can i tell? Were suppose to go hang out again tonight another thing she does is she always wants to answer my cell phone and she talks to the people that call and is like do you remember me and stuff like that and she also picks on my alot about stuff even more so when my other friends start picking on me she goes crazy on it and does to. Im really confused on what to do or say or think anymore if someone has some advice please give it to me. Thanks

[Beec]

Lots of things seem to be going on here, but I cannot get into you ex's head to figure it out. However, I would think you should put a stop to it, AS SOON AS POSSIBLE.

 

First, her complaints about other guys, why are there no good guys and her looks, sounds like she is treating you, in some respects, like one of her girlfriends to whom she can complain and generally commiserate about guys. You need to stop this. It stinks for you to endure and is not going to help you get anywhere. My guess is that you only deal with it because you want her. But she won't talk about that, maybe because she views you as something other than bf material. You need to be the Man.

 

How to deal with this problem, by being the Man, tell her firmly, without letting her talk, without being nasty, looking in her eyes, that you think she is attractive, cute, good-looking, has a good figure, etc. You are one of those nice guys who treats women right. And that you are not there to be someone who she can complain to.

 

Second, she seems to act like she is entitled to gf privileges while being able not to provide gf benefits and then, when you are not one of her girls, she gets to be one of your guys. A more difficult problem to handle, but with the same solution: be the Man. Just stop her from answering your cell phone, firmly, not harshly, but without negotiation. If she asks who called, you can tell her, but don't let her talk. When she makes fun of you, that you need to be able to laugh about because getting made will not be good.

 

Will this work? Maybe? Will it make you a little vulnerable? Yes. But it will stop your problems with her one way or another. I think she does not see you as a potential bf and won't treat you as a Man unless you show her that is how you need to be treated. You would be in a better position cutting her off from all contact, then continuing to endure this stuff.