Keyman Posted May 11, 2008 Share Posted May 11, 2008 After months of struggling, we she broke up with me. After the pain of being dragged through the muck while she didn't know what she wanted, I'm glad it happened. Sure I could have ended it myself and looking back I should have, but apparently I was up for the challenge of trying to fix it. I asked for NC a week ago, and thankfully I have not heard from her. But it is very difficult. I didn't sleep well last night (not because of her), so am tired and depressed this morning. I don't want to contact her, but I'm having trouble fighting the urge. I think I've been doing well, my small group of friends are great, but when I wake up alone in an empty house, I feel like I'm going to lose my mind. Help, I don't want to contact her, but it's so difficult... Link to comment
pumpkinmoon Posted May 11, 2008 Share Posted May 11, 2008 just know that if you contact her now you will be kicking yourself later and regret it totally! I tried Lc with my ex after contacting him and i just couldnt do it, I say NC all the way until healed!!! Link to comment
lifesaride Posted May 11, 2008 Share Posted May 11, 2008 I know exactly what you are going through. I can personally tell you that just this morning I made the mistake of sending a text that I have been kicking myself most of the day for sending. I just felt worse after I sent it than before. I didn't really think that was possible but it is. I understand about feeling like you are going to lose your mind. That is why we need to keep ourselves busy. It helps to keep those thoughts away so we can work on getting stronger. Today I spent the day in my yard bagging leaves not fun but I spent the entire time telling myself why NC is the way to go and reminding myself of the reasons I am at that point in the first place. I actually came in the house feeling a lot better and more positive. That's not to say that later tonight won't get difficult again...but I will come here and read posts and post myself if I think it is necessary to keep myself from calling/texting. You can do this. We are all here together facing similar situations. Just try to stay strong. I know how hard that is. You will feel much better about yourself if you keep NC Link to comment
Keyman Posted May 12, 2008 Author Share Posted May 12, 2008 Actually spending some of the day responding to others queries has helped me a lot. I do have moments of thinking of her, like in half an hour I will be heading to the train station and I know she will be there somewhere, but I don't want to even see her let alone talk to her. Lucky we are on different platforms (and she is short sighted). I'll be strong because I really want to get away from her. I don't need her in my life anymore. Link to comment
Keyman Posted May 12, 2008 Author Share Posted May 12, 2008 I mentioned in another thread that my computer had a virus on it and to fix it I needed to reinstall windows. Guess where the disks for windows are? That's right, her place. So I had to ring her. I left a message asking her to ring me, as she should be at the gym. But I rethought talking to her, so rang and left another message telling her to post the disks to my po box. I am hoping she wont call, as I said she didn't need to. I can make do. But even calling and leaving a message has knots in my stomach. Link to comment
Loris Posted May 12, 2008 Share Posted May 12, 2008 Perhaps find someone else that has the disks? So far, in contacting her you "need" her. You "need" her to bring you those disks. You "need" to be more assertive and if she doesn't know what she wants then she's too wishy washy for you. You want someone who makes decisions. You don't "need" anyone. Be strong. You'll get through it. Just be patient and you'll wake up one day and not be thinking of her. Trust me, it does happen. Good luck, dude. Link to comment
qwerty1984 Posted May 12, 2008 Share Posted May 12, 2008 all i can say is that i know how you feel...i called my ex (of 3 days) in tears at 7am.... all he did was say he felt numb..... it kills when i'm feeling SO much.... he said i'm welcome to call him and talk as he knows he's the only one who understands our relationship.... is that the case??? i'm going to see him on Wednesday....that will help clarify a lot of things for me... do u need any more clarification? Link to comment
Easylover Posted May 12, 2008 Share Posted May 12, 2008 Keep yourself busy. I was with my fella for 20 months before I ended it. Try everything to keep your mind off her.... You can only help yourself. I hope the pain eases for you soon. x Link to comment
Keyman Posted May 12, 2008 Author Share Posted May 12, 2008 Perhaps find someone else that has the disks? So far, in contacting her you "need" her. You "need" her to bring you those disks. You "need" to be more assertive and if she doesn't know what she wants then she's too wishy washy for you. You want someone who makes decisions. You don't "need" anyone. Be strong. You'll get through it. Just be patient and you'll wake up one day and not be thinking of her. Trust me, it does happen. Good luck, dude. Thanks Loris, she did not call, which is good, and I did make do, the internet is a wonderful place for of all the things I needed to fix my computer. I do hope she sends the discs to my PO Box though as they are required. It's the mornings that really get me. It got me again this morning, waking up alone, but as the day goes by it gets better. I will continue to be strong and all will be well as you say. Link to comment
Keyman Posted May 12, 2008 Author Share Posted May 12, 2008 all i can say is that i know how you feel...i called my ex (of 3 days) in tears at 7am.... all he did was say he felt numb..... it kills when i'm feeling SO much.... he said i'm welcome to call him and talk as he knows he's the only one who understands our relationship.... is that the case??? i'm going to see him on Wednesday....that will help clarify a lot of things for me... do u need any more clarification? Qwerty, whatever you do, don't follow my example and call him. It wont make things better, it wont ease your pain, it will only set you back and you'll have to start the process all over again. I'm glad she did not call me back, even though I heard her voice on her answer phone, I regretted doing it. Put him as far out of his mind as you can and like the rest of us, pour out your hurt and pain here, or even email if you desire. Sure he understands your relationship and he knows you, but you've broken up and if he did the deed, then he does not deserve to know you or your life anymore. Start the in-hate process. It will help with the initial seperation and allow you to begin moving on with your life. Think of all the things that was bad with him, think that the b*stard broke up with you and how dare he. Just don't call him, and especially not in tears. Link to comment
Loris Posted May 12, 2008 Share Posted May 12, 2008 Start the in-hate process. It will help with the initial seperation and allow you to begin moving on with your life. Think of all the things that was bad with him, think that the b*stard broke up with you and how dare he. Just don't call him, and especially not in tears. this 'in-hate' process yyou speak of. What is it? See my post Link to comment
Keyman Posted May 12, 2008 Author Share Posted May 12, 2008 this 'in-hate' process yyou speak of. What is it? [/url] I'll post a thread about it shortly. Link to comment
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