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I ended the relationship. She guaranteed she liked me.


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I traveled abroad for few weeks. We exchanged e-mails almost on daily basis.


Upon my return, two days later we got together for dinner.


I was not planning to engage her physically speaking, but after few glasses of wine I felt I wanted to hold her hands. She let me hand her hands for a little bit then said she did not want to go ahead with that. I got really disappointed and said that before my departure we kissed each other passionately and how come now she is back to the 'friendship only thing'. She said that remember that I have emotions left from my previous long-term relationship and she keeps talking with that guy, etc.


I said OK, so then we are not on the same page and you can now go ahead and go back to your ex. She looked surprised with my reaction. I told that I am not available to be your second-best and continue this inconsistent relationship. I reiterated that all I am looking for is a normal relationship, where if I feel I want to hold her hands, I should be able to.


I said that if she is not sure if she wants to be open for a physical, normal relationship is because that means she does not like me enough.She replied back saying when I say that, that pisses her off big time. Claimed that it is simply because she is emotionally attached to the other guy. I said it remains, and if you really want to keep me around, you will have to leave the other emotions because I am pulling out from this madness. I asked her whether she kisses her friends passionately and she said no. I told her that I want a woman who is willing to work to have me and make an effort to kick the old relationship out and give a chance to the new one with me.


The night finished by her asking me to reconsider and keep the friendship only because she really liked me and said who knows maybe someday that could turn into more. I said no, because we proved already that we have feelings beyound friendship and that is too uncertain for me. She said she wanted to talk with again other day. I did not say anything, and on the way home and I deleted her phone number from my phone book


I got up today and I am little bit sad and thinking about her. I really like her, but I hope that this move is the right one. I am just getting tired of this s*, total madness.


In your experience have you seen such a woman before who is concerned to keep the "friendship" thing but at the same time does want to have physical relationship? Lately I have heard compliments from women, but it pisses me off that they just make freaking compliements and do not want to "do" anything more than that. It sucks.

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You did absolutely the right thing - well done. People should have to deal with the consequences of their actions and behaviours and you just brought her face to face with that.


It is better to be a little sad and hurt now than very hurt and sad somewhere down the line.

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another vote for 'you made the right decision.' i think you totally did the right thing, rather than being her 'backup man.' that limbo is not fair to you at all. i think you will find a normal relationship if you stick with this attitude.

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