lissa23 Posted April 30, 2008 Share Posted April 30, 2008 So I've been single for about 6 months now... I got out of a 2+ year relationship that ended pretty badly. Now that I feel ready to even MEET new people I just realize how bad I really am when it comes to dating and flirting. My friend that I use to work with invited me to her boyfriend's birthday where she wanted me to meet her boyfriends best friend. She said that he reminded me so much of him because we both use to play in bands but now we're going after a "corporate career". Anyway so Friday comes and I meet this guy and he is definitely anyway, we're at the party and I'm not sure if we hit it off right away but eventually we ended up dancing together and after that we decided to sit down and talk and we just talked about random stuff from music, sports, what we do etc. And then he takes a chance and decides to kiss me. I kiss him back and it was all good. The bar closes and his place isn't too far away so my girlfriends, his friends, all of us decide to go back to his place. We're there for about an hour or so to sober up until we call a cab to come get us. The whole time we were watching UFC and music videos and we were cuddling etc. So when the cab called to say that he was outside and that we had 3 minutes to get our stuff and come out or he's going to have to leave he turns around and says "you have 3 minutes. So that means 1 minute to cuddle with me and 2 minutes to walk outside". I thought that was so cute so my heart was obviously fluttering. 5 minutes after I got into the cab with my friends he texts me saying that he had a really good time and to text him when I got home. I did and we said good night. The next morning he text me asking if I had a good sleep and if I had a good time and he told me again he had a good time so we text back and forth for a bit and then it ended up fizzling out. the next day I text him first to say "have a good day at work" because he told me the day before he was working and after a few text's back and forth it fizzled out. So that was on Sunday and that was the last I've heard from him. So I have no idea where to go from here. I am definitely infatuated with this guy and would like to get to know him (other then what I already know and from what my friend tells me about him). What is the rule of thumb for guys when they meet someone? obviously to take things slow but should I be writing this one off as not interested? Link to comment
Batya33 Posted April 30, 2008 Share Posted April 30, 2008 In my experience (including those of my friends) when a man is sincerely interested in dating me, he calls the woman and asks her out on a date. Unless you were rude to him in the text or gave him the brush off chances are his week started and he got busy/distracted and if he is interested he will contact you by tomorrow night to ask you out for the weekend. If not, who knows, he may be away, etc. I wouldn't text again. If it helps I've had that experience several times. Just enjoy the sweet memories! Link to comment
Cassie Posted April 30, 2008 Share Posted April 30, 2008 Hi Lissa, give it a few more days before you start potentially writing him off. As Batya mentioned if he's sincere, he'll be back. Meanwhile, keep yourself busy to avoid 'itchy' fingers. Link to comment
lissa23 Posted April 30, 2008 Author Share Posted April 30, 2008 You're right. I just don't know what the rule of thumb is. People say that men usually wait until the next weekend to try to contact you for the fear of seeming too "desperate". He does work odd hours as he works for the police department here. So we'll just have to see. Link to comment
Batya33 Posted April 30, 2008 Share Posted April 30, 2008 I haven't seen any rule in that - except that most often the men who are sincerely interested contact me within 2 days at the latest. The odd hours probably doesn't impact much because they are predictable hours and he doesn't work 18 hours a day. Having said all that I wouldn't write him off yet - what I did was just put the guy on the edge of my (mental) radar and then after a week or so he was off the radar. Link to comment
drewciouS281 Posted April 30, 2008 Share Posted April 30, 2008 I guess everyones opinions may differ on this. I dont like when a girl i just meet calls me constantly but if its sorta like a every other day thing i dont mind it. As long as they show some sort of interest i will return the favor. Dont text as much, just call each other. Unless he is at work try to talk on the phone but dont talk for too long. you dont want to run out of things to talk about. Keep things new and interesting. On sorta the same note, whats the rule for guys cause im in your similar situation. Link to comment
ghost69 Posted April 30, 2008 Share Posted April 30, 2008 why did you have to sober up to call a cab? anyways, call him when you want. just don't call all the time. i had to tell an ex to tone it down before. she used to call every couple hours. 'what are you doing?' 'same thing i was 2 hours ago. WORKING!' every other day is cool. a few texts here and there to say what's up is cool too. Link to comment
lady00 Posted May 1, 2008 Share Posted May 1, 2008 I agree with Batya...if a man is interested, he will call and ask you out. I think you should leave the ball in his court now. Link to comment
lissa23 Posted May 2, 2008 Author Share Posted May 2, 2008 Well, he didn't call or text but wrote on my online social profile thing that he liked my new picture and that he liked it. I didn't say anything back. I'm not stressing it. I'm sure it goes both ways. I don't want to seem over interested and neither does he. If it happens it happens... Link to comment
Batya33 Posted May 2, 2008 Share Posted May 2, 2008 Well, he didn't call or text but wrote on my online social profile thing that he liked my new picture and that he liked it. I didn't say anything back. I'm not stressing it. I'm sure it goes both ways. I don't want to seem over interested and neither does he. If it happens it happens... That;s sweet. Next week I might just send him an e-mail "thanks for the compliment, hope you are well." nothing more than that. Link to comment
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