Need some help with dealing with a busy girl I like

[Boromir]

Hi everyone,

 

I met this really nice girl last wee that you may have heard me mention before in another thread. We hit is off pretty quick, took my number, and called me the next day. We played phone tag a bit until Friday night when we finally got to talk agin. We had a nice conversation and she emphasized that she was really busy with work during the holidays (and was working extra to make more money - something she really needs right now). I got the impression that she was saying not to give up on her and for me to call her. We didn't set a date to go out, and it seems she is working a lot everyday (Sat and Sun she put in 12 hour days).

 

I feel like she likes me because she has called me three times, and even text messaged me in the morning to say good morning. I thought that was really sweet. I text messaged her back a few times, and finally got a call from her two days later. She apologized and said she was really busy at work and I can imagine she is really tired. My messages were like: Hi! Hope all is well. I am sure you are tired, call me when you get the chance" and so forth.

 

I guess my problems is the realization that I may not get to go out with her until after the holidays! Everyone who has heard what she says and has done says she is interested (must be or I wouldn't hear from here), so I am kind of assured of that, it is just trying to be patient about gong out on a date. She mentioned that she hasn't even gone out to eat in 4 months because of money problems, but wants to really get out of the hole she is in on her own. I do respect her for it, but have no porblems taking her out somewhere fun and nice. Where I live there are tons of excellent places to go out.

 

Anyway, I want to give her her space while she is busy, but I don't want to appear to aloof and like I am not interested, nor I don't want to make her feel like she hassed to go out with me soon. How can I keep her interested in me. I am afraid there will be a window and it'll shut. . .

 

How often should I text message her? How often should I call even though it is likely she won't answer the phone cause she is working? Leave a message everyday?

 

Help! What should I do?

[musicguy]

First off don't text and call her everyday, then you might be smothering her. I dunno maybe call her a couples times a week, not back to back you know, stretch out the days, same goes with text messaging too.

[MollyElise]

OK First off this is what you need to do. Next time you talk to her tell her you want to take her out for a nice night on the town, and ask her when her next available evening is.

 

Even if its a week away, set the date. You dont have to tell her what you will be doing. I am very busy, and I have had guys that will ask me out 2-3 days in advance, when your really busy you usually have a full week loosely scheduled.

 

Once you have a date set, go online to the best entertainment website in the area. Look for art shows, live music, christmas tree lights, etc. Plan a nice 3-4 hour

 

As far as calling her I would call her once a day, 2x every few days would be fine, if you had something important to say. ALSO when you do call her, after saying hello, ask her if this is a good time. That way if she's busy she wont feel pressured to talk to you.

 

Good luck!

[ilinara]

Watch how often she is doing msging and calling and keep it close to that until you go on a date together. You could even do a little bit more than she does.

[Boromir]

Thanks very much guys! If I can't get her to commit, should I just shelve the idea until she brings it up? If she does that is. . .

 

Usually by the time she gets out of work, like 9:30-10:30 pm I am usually doing something like going out friends and stuff. Normally I have been getting her while she is driving home from work (which takes about 45min). She works in a bar on the weekends and seemed to suggest that I come in and visit, but I have done that before with other girls and if she is too busy, or whatever, it doesn't seem to go well because, well, they are working. . .

[Beec]

First stop text messaging her everyday, unless she is sending you one. Even then, don't immediately respond as if you have been waiting, anticipating, hoping for that message. You are not aloof, but act it a little.

 

Next time you talk to her at a quieter moment, tell her "You know I'm interested, don't you." "Why don't you tell me what your schedule is? When are you available?" If she says she is busy, she's not interested. If she says January 15th, she is not so interested. If it is closer, maybe she is. If she hems and haws, then tell her that she knows how to reach you and let me know when you are available, then don't talk to her for a week at least, unless she contacts you. If you don't hear from her within two weeks, go make a move on someone else and take them to where she works. Have a blast with the other woman, for a short time and leave. Then contact her a few days later.

[dude123]

I don't know if my idea is going to help but ask her if she is going anywhere for New Years Eve. Maybe you guys could go to a club or something you know what I mean. Give it a try.

[unidrewuni]

im going through the same dilemma as you. But since i read the threads about how " SHE IS BUSY AND if SHE WAS INTERESTED IN YOU SHE WOULD DEFINITELY MAKE TIME.If SHE KEEPS GIVING YOU THE "go around" about how busy and working she is then i think its time to move on. dude im going through the same thing i have been talking to some chick for 2 months and she keeps"beating around the bush" i know it sucks but i think if she flakes for that 1st so called"date she willc ontinue to flake and keep coming up with excuses. i know u dont wanna hear this but im dealing with it and im gonna tell her the next time i talk to her. front that point on converataion will be awkward and forceful it was mentioned and sooner or later she will or u will just lose touch. be a man about, i am.