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ilinara

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Everything posted by ilinara

  1. I think he does only want to USE you for sex and he doesn't have any feelings for you. That's his tactic to get from you what he wants.
  2. I think you should do what you think is right. Might be she tells you to go in June because she does not want you to feel constricted in the relationship but if you know it is best to put it off, why wouldn't you?
  3. I think she is not interested romantically and never ever will be again. Just trying to keep you as a friend. It's up to you, what do you want?
  4. she only asked me to prom because she knew that she would get a sure yes... -----> looks like this one.
  5. Maybe she tried to look fantastic for you?
  6. I think you are very intelligent and that is what causes the problem. You were ahead already before you tried socialising, that made you different and especially teens but people in general want people around them that are like themselves. The extra effort to socialise is very good and it is important to have a satisfying life in the future as these kind of things are best exercised and refined when you are a teenager. I think the numbness comes from the feelings you had to repress when you understood this girl actually does not love you. You have to work on those feelings that she caused you to get out of it. That is the cause for your depression, too. Look at it from a larger point of view. Maybe she was send to you to be a trigger for you to develop interest in neuroscience etc. Life is like this, something causes to you to take up some interests, you forget about what it was later or you understand that this girl for example was not meant to be and nothing to be sad for when you get the maturity and learn more about people and get to know yourself but it causes something in you and that triggers some other interests or events and you find yourself somewhere where you are truly happy, where you are meant to be. I suggest take life easy in these years, try to get most of it, make as many experiences as you can as those will help you to find out what you truly would like to do in life. Don't stick too hard when something is not happening, let it go try something else, someone else. Don't try to make jokes they will not understand them. If you really want to make jokes they can understand, you would need to change your way of thinking, you would need to involve more steps where as you are jumping (my impression) right now. Don't do it even if you get to that point it will make you stupid. You are used to think in giant steps, you will feel as stupid when you pace down to their speed because you are used to your own speed your whole life, that is what is normal for you. Keep them for some special people that are able to understand them. But the socialising thing is very important. Study their behaviour and learn where you are different. You can learn to adjust and they will like you when you are similar to them. But don't change your personality. Just adapt the words you use or how detailed you go into a subject etc. You have to accept that you are different and accept it as gift. It is hard in those years but you will love it in ten years. Accept it and use your gift, your brain. It is not maturity, you are ahead. Don't try to be less, never ever. It is like you are in the one percentile of this world, and you will come closer to people that are like you the more you move up in life, university, job etc. If you try to be less now to find social acceptance you will loose opportunities in the future that will bring you to the place you belong and where you will be able live out your abilities (what is really fulfilling). The other way you can never be like them and you will not achieve what was meant for you: A life of a waisted genius. Never really happy, never belonging to the crowd. Get out of that depression, it makes you feel less. Severe depression itself can cause your I.Q. to drop down. Best thing is to first try doing sports and working on stuff that makes you sad not repressing it. You are ahead, don't forget that, use it to your advantage, you don't have any other choice if you want to be happy later in your life.
  7. She would not tell you that she will be out of town if she would prefer not to be asked out again. She is telling you in advance that she will not be able to. So it is on her mind and she cares enough to tell you, otherwise she would face the possibility to lose your interest. Ask her out again and do not wait for weeks to do that. Could confuse her whether you are interested or not. If she is not sure if you are interested how can she give you a clear sign (some girls will some girls will not). I don't see any mixed signals from what you have written here. She is not giving very obvious signs that's all.
  8. Maybe very conventional? Ask her uncle if he shows up.
  9. PS for actual first dates in the future, does not kissing a girl automatically make her think you aren't interested? -> It's the way you behave when you are with her, sensitive etc. (do not act like a buddy). She would not invite you for lunch if she wants to be left alone. I would ask her out again on the right occasion. Like you did with the hockey while you were just talking about it. Or ask her if she still wants to go to the hockey game. Should I speak with her in private and just ask her, "When I asked you to the hockey game did you think I was asking you as a date, or just as a friend?" ->No, could be she will not give you an honest answer. Just relax, as long as you do not say obvious stuff she will not be sure what kind of interest you are showing. Just ask her out and keep it this way, time will show.
  10. As she wanted to reschedule the first date it is ok and as you don't know each other for a long time I am quite sure that she doesn't know how to interprete your interest right now. Just take it step by step and don't open up until you can be sure. If I was that girl, right now, it would look to me as, ok he is asking me out but I am not sure if it is meant friendly.
  11. I would say extremely shy and he likes you a lot. You will have to show him you are interested and step by step try to get closer. Do not turn him down in the slightest way, be open and accepting with whatever he comes up. I wish you patience and good luck!
  12. That your father wants to get into your room even when you are bathing is not normal. To me it looks like your mother is jealous. Your brothers are probably living that out for her, she is rewarding them when they do treat you bad. I think you should really find someone to talk about it. I don't know if you can find someone at school or ask a teacher whom you trust to help you with this. At the age of 15 it is hard to believe that the own mother could be jealous at her own daughter. Get help now and learn to understand what is causing them to act that way. I don't think it is anything you are doing. The problem is between your mother and your father, imo.
  13. To me it looks as there is more... I would recommend to be more flirtatious with him, too.
  14. She is trying to get to know you and she is taking it slowly. If you are exited about her you should show it. It will make her feel comfortable around you.
  15. You could ask him what he means with ''without getting serious''. If it is dating it might help the two of you building trust in each other. That's what he needs to get over his ex wives behaviours. But still, I think he has over reacted. You have to carefully decide if he is worth all the work you will have to do to get him trusting you.
  16. Sounds like you are in a manic depressive state. I found this page about self help for depression some time ago. It looks at depressions from a different view point. homepages.nyu.edu/~er26/anger.html and homepages.nyu.edu/~er26/toxicmind.html Very interesting page. I would advice to contact a doctor about it to get a treatment.
  17. Not fair at all. He is not giving you what he is expecting from you.
  18. I would give him a chance but depends on who has broken up this time and the first time. If it was the girl the first time and this time it was him that's good. 5 Years is a long time, I would do it only because of that. But I would not open up my heart too fast.
  19. To me it sounds as she wants you to be one of her good friends. Not just being nice and not more than being friends, right now...
  20. Hmmm, I would not send any flowers, if this is the case. Just wait and see. She really should have a good excuse. Wait for her to make a move if she does not you can try to talk about it but you should not feel guilty!
  21. It doesn't sound as if she is interested. I would not do more than asking her friend again.
  22. Why do you have to quit for this reason? I really don't get it. Have you tried to tell her what you told us, might be she will respect your needs and will be busier with her own life and she can learn to give you the space that you need while still being together. If she would try to leave you right now, would you feel relief or would it make you sad? It looks like you want to create your self some trouble out of the blue. Why not try to work on the relationship than saying we are not meant to be? Take a trip somewhere and get the space that you need instead of giving in to the pressure you feel. The more you think about it the more pressure it will create on you. I have done something like that in the past. The more I thought it had to be that way the more pressure I felt and that made me think even more so. It was a vicious cycle. I listened to my mind and not to my heart and I do regret it deeply right now. I doubt your heart is telling you the same or it wouldn't have taken so much time. Get the space you need to be able to think clearly and healthy and then make your decision, I would recommend.
  23. Send her roses but don't call her for another while. She just has to know you are sorry. If she has intentions to come back this wouldn't be a wrong move. If you do not contact her for too long, the pain of you doing nothing to get her back will get her heart break a little bit more.
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