She's interested...but scared. What to say? (12/31 Update!)

[Chan209]

Well...good news here!

 

Well...I found out last night from her female best friend that she IS in fact interested in me, but she's scared of being hurt again as her first boyfriend was a great guy when she met him (like I am) and 2 or 3 years into the relationship he turned into an * * *, so she dumped him.

 

So at this point, I'm not sure exactly what to say or how to say it. Me and her have known each other forever and even have long-term plans together so she knows I'd never turn out like that. Any advice is appreciated.

 

(As you can imagine, when I found this out last night I was literally on cloud 9. )

[liltasha]

you've got to go for it - could turn into something great.

 

Think you've got to let her know you understand her being wary of getting into a new relationship, but you're happy to take it at her speed. She's known you for ages so I guess she knows what you're like and you're a decent enough guy (I hope! ). I'd have thought it'd be better for her to be able to get into a relationship with a close friend than a virtual stranger as there is already a degree of trust built up.

 

Explain to her exactly how you feel. dont just say that you heard she was interested in you so how about going out? Tell her that you like her a lot and that you get the feeling she might be feeling the same about you and you'd like to have the chance to turn your friendship into something more.

 

Good luck!

[Beec]

You she's interested in you and, guess what, she knows you are interested in her. Count on that as her friend would not have told you and would have let her know when she did. Women talk much more than men, at all ages.

 

So make a move. How is the question? The easiest way is to get her alone, but that is not so easy itself. So set the table for that. Make some eye contact and smile at her. A slight smile is all that's needed. Next compliment her on something when you pass by her. A simple Hi _______ (use her name), I like your ________ (use something she has on). Repeat the smiling. Pull her aside and say you would like to talk to her sometime. Her and her friends will ge the message and leave a time for a conversation.

 

Start with some open ended questions? How are you? How is you _____ going? How do you like ______? Then say, I like talkign with you and/or I enjoy being around you. How is she reacting? Positively, then press on. Say next: I'd like to talk to you more? later? more often? whenever you can? Still postive, then either just ask her out (best course of action) or explain that you understand that she doesn't don't want to get hurt again, and that you don't want that to happen either, but you don't think she should continue to do not go out, she needs to go out and you would like it to be with you.

[thatguy04]

Wow, good job happy for ya . Try bringing up the subject to her during a conversation, and try to lead on to the fact that the two of you would be great together.

[Chan209]

UPDATE!!

 

I TOLD HER!!

 

We went out to dinner tonight and upon me pulling up to her house I told her that I needed to talk to her. I basically said (more/less) "why don't we give it a shot?". She happily agreed and wants to pursue it too. We decided to take it slow so we don't ruin our friendship. That way we both see if this is what we really want or not.

 

I'm sooooooooooooooo happy.

[liltasha]

well done!

 

hope everything goes well for you two!

[thatguy04]

Good job, happy for ya

[Chan209]

Thanks!! The real thanks is to all of you here who has given me advice on this over the last couple of months. It's really appreciated. It's been great to have this place to come to for this.

 

Believe me, it had to be the most nervewracking thing I've ever said to anyone. The hardest part was to start it...after that I just let it go. After I got it out, it felt like a million pounds off my back which was so much more rewarding when she accepted/agreed.

 

For those in any similar situation with a close friend, just know that it CAN happen to you if you take your time with it and all the cards fall into place.

 

Thanks again to everyone here.

[Cid]

Grats!!!!!! keep us updated. Good Luck. And remember to keep it slow.