liltasha
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Everything posted by liltasha
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Hey, sorry to hear that the boy broke up with you. Yes, take a pregnancy test - I'm not sure when is best to take one (although I think some can be reliable just a few days after - not sure about that though). I'd suggest getting one NOW - and it'll come with instructions. I'm guessing that he didn't use a condom? You definitely need to get a test.
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I've known this guy in college for over a year and a half - when I first met him I knew he was special and we became really close friends. The inevitable happened and I realised that I liked him as more than a friend and I could tell he felt the same. To cut a very very long story short, we eventually admitted to each other how we felt and tried going out as more than friends. It didn't work for various reasons, nothing nasty or anything. My main 'problem' was that I didn't feel he was putting much effort into it - after the initial 'asking me out' he seemed to think that was his job done and everything else (initialising more dates etc) was upto me. I think we both accepted it wasn't working and we have now broken up. I know its stupid to think things can be exactly like they were before but I would like to get some of that friendship back - I have tried over the last couple of months to get us both to just talk and sort something out, but again it seems to be me doing all the work. Should I just give up or does anyone know of any ways by which I can help get this friendship back on track? BTW we're 19 and 20. Thanks for any help!
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He seems interested, but he won't call!!!!
liltasha replied to Blue Skittles's topic in Dating Advice
Like K8tie Kool, I don't like to be discouraging but I've gone through something similar - being friends with a very shy guy, wanting more KNOWING he wants more but he's too shy to do anything about it. I'm shy myself and I'm not saying there's anything wrong with shy guys but sometimes with 'my' guy, the shyness came accross as not being that interested - it didn't make me feel very good about myself constantly wondering if he was interested. even when we eventually started 'going out' it was me having to do all the suggesting we meet up etc That just made me think the whole thing was one-sided. Admittedly he was the one who asked me out properly the first time but after that it seemed to be him thinking 'well I've done that, asked her out the first time, thats my job done' - I began thinking that he didn't want to be there really (even if when asked directly he insisted he did) - didn't do much for my confidence and I'm only now getting over it. What I'm saying is, if you are really interested in him - don't give up (your 10 weeks is nothing I waited a whole year for him to actually get the courage to make a move! even when I made my feelings clear) but perhaps just keep inviting him places and talking to him. Just don't get too hung up on him. I agree with K8tie Kool - both people have to be putting the effort in to make things work - I definitely ended up frustrated and feeling alone - still do to an extent. Anyway, hope things go ok and he snaps out of his shyness! -
Don't know what to do anymore?... Advice please anyone
liltasha replied to whitefang's topic in Emotions and Feelings
I'm sorry to hear you are so upset. What exactly has she been doing that makes you depressed? This might help us offer some advice to help you get through this? I know its hard not to have this on your mind all the time (I'm going through something similar and you're right it is difficult) and its bound to have some effect on your college work and life, but do try and find things to take your mind off her. Try not to hide away from your friends as spending time with them may help you. Good luck. -
Confused over her, i don't know what to do?... advice pls
liltasha replied to whitefang's topic in Dating Advice
it does sound a bit odd her saying she's seeing someone when you've never heard anything about it before (and I would have thought her friend would have mentioned it too if she was seeing someone). Added to that, with the mystery guy not being at the party, perhaps she isn't seeing anyone. Maybe you surprised her when you asked her out and she wasn't sure how to respond? It may be because she sees you only as a friend, or perhaps she's a bit shy? You need to find out for sure if she's actually seeing anyone (the friend could help here?). When you see her, even if she acts a bit odd, try to act normal - keep smiling and talking to her like you usually would and maybe if its because she's just a bit shy she'll get back to normal too. goo luck! -
After a series of issues I had with a guy I'd been dating, I've finally accepted that although I may still like him (he was a good friend before) I need to break up with him for my own good. For the last couple of months I hadn't been able to concentrate on anything as I kept thinking 'what's up with him? why's he messing me around?' etc and my college work has probably suffered. The main thing I'm upset about is that our once good friendship could be ruined - in my opinion we could work things out so at least the friendship would be salvaged in part. But it doesn't help that he's kind of childish when it comes to talking about things and we haven't been able to actually discuss the problems (one of the reasons for the breakup) - this has also impacted on the whole breaking up thing - the relationship has kind of fizzled out rather than one of us / or both of us actually saying directly 'this should end' - which I think is bad because neither of us really know what the other is thinking. But if he won't talk (and I don't want to tell him in an email that its over!) there's not a lot that I can do. So basically, now I've accepted that I should for definate end this relationship - how do I now start to get over him? I've definitely make a big step in actually accepting that and I do feel better for it - for the last couple of months I've been saying that we should sort it out and things can still work out but now I realise thats just wishful thinking - but I can't stop thinking about him. Also, any advice on saving the friendship (its not a very nasty breakup) - if thats possible? I think we should discuss it but thats not going to happen so I'm thinking just trying to act as normal as possible (but that could give him the wrong impression).
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I agree with S4il about the sterling silver/white gold thing (although I have an allergic reaction to sterling silver so it has to be white gold for me! ) as opposed to 'normal' gold, but this girl might like the normal yellow gold so your best bet is to take a hint from what kind of jewellery she already has - if she does have all silver then stick with that or vice versa. If she has both, then go for the silver. what type of jewellery... maybe a nice necklace or bracelet perhaps?
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You've only been together for three weeks - perhaps she just has been very busy and is taking things slow. You say she hasn't opend up to you completely yet. In what ways do you want her to open up and how are you opening up with her? If you want things to progress, then continue to make her feel comfortable.
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If you're dating someone but there seems to be no end of issues negatively affecting the relationship, when do you decide enoughs enough? If your head says it makes more sense to end the relationship, but your heart says 'but I still like him/her' - which do you follow?
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I'm dating a guy (I'm 19, he's 20) and we've been having a few problems as we're both a bit shy and I'm certain he's never had a girlfriend before. He says he wants me to take charge of the relationship - says its because he's not sure how fast I want the relationship to go and doesn't want to push me, but I'm pretty sure its more because he's not confident enough to push the relationship further (so far we've just kissed). I want more but trying to think of ways to show him that. Any help please?
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first off, well done on your first date! sounds like it went well. after the excitement of the date and getting on so well its only natural that now she's gone for a little bit you're going to miss her. why not try turning the negative feelings into positives? you're feeling depressed because you're missing her as you got on so well, why not try feeling happy that you got on so well. She said she's coming back so thats great you're going to see her again soon. don't worry about her not replying to the messages - she may be busy - but try not to keep sending them if she's not replying. Why not wait a week or so and call her (rather than sending messages) and ask how her week has been? of course if she does message you then reply! good luck
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An old classic movie sounds like a great idea! You said your friend lets you go anywhere in the building - could he organize a little 'behind the scenes' tour for you and your gf? May be something different? As for a present - I agree with the previous poster - the little bear is a bit tacky, I hate things like that. Something that shows you've thought of it - doesn't have to be a big thing - something that means something.
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i guess the difficult thing is how to do it without hurting their feelings. Any advice on how?
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I've gone through the same thing! Although in my case it was the first kiss when he rammed his tongue down my throat! The other poster is right - you should talk to him although it'll feel a bit awkward! I can't talk though - I haven't mentioned it! Didn't want to hurt his feelings!
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been 'seeing' a shy guy for a few months now - although he liked me for a quite a while it took him forever to ask me out (yeah i know - in todays world of equal opportunities n' all that I could have asked him out but what can I say?!). So the thing is he asked me out the first time but since then I've had to do all the work. asking him out on dates n' stuff. Even when i've waited a bit, to see if he'd actually do the asking for once it come down to me to ask him. He always says yes and we have a great time - I'm virtually certain that its not because he isn't interested (he's said he is and his friends have said the same) - just because he's painfully shy and scared of rejection. Although I like him a lot, this is making me a bit fed up with him - I don't see why I should have to be the one suggesting things all the time, I liked to be asked out too! Make me feel wanted! surely he should know by now that I want to keep seeing him and I'm not going to say no if he does build up the courage to ask me for once. We're both in our 20s which makes this whole thing sound even worse! I don't think he's had a girlfriend before and I've never known anyone to act like he does. so although i like him I wondering if this is the way its going to go for however long it lasts and should I just cut my losses now?
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I'm sure there's lots of reasons why one breast may be bigger than the other - I've heard that sometimes it can be affected by whether you're right or left handed - eg. if you're righthanded you probably use your right arm a lot more than your left, using the muscles around your right arm more and this can result in your right breast appearing bigger. You're only young so any differences will probably decrease as you develop. As Auriqua says, don't let it become a big issue in your life - don't worry about it. The difference may lok obvious to you as you're looking for it but I doubt anyone else even notices!
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something about how this has been written makes me a little suspicious about the whole thing... but taking it at face value, there's not a lot you can do - yes you may have strong feelings for her but she's basically begging you not to get in contact with her so you just have to respect that. Will be hard, but she obviously feels it will make her life much much harder if you do persist.
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thanks for the responses. Yeah, I know the answer is to just talk about it - but thats another of our 'problems' - we're both too shy and whenever there is a problem we don't really talk. Once we're together then its fine - he's not shy and we have a good time. Its just the initial bit - we are supposed to be dating, going out or whatever today's phrase is but I get the feeling that if I don't arrange something then we wouldn't get together. I think that he was so nervous about asking me in the first place, that once he did that was it - he'd done what he had to do. I don't want to end things as I think he is special, but this and our general communication problems do make me think that its not worth it and it'll never get better.
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I've been going out with a guy for a few months - before that we were good friends. We'd liked each other for sometime but were both too shy to do anything about it but finally he asked me out and I accepted. I enjoy spending more time with him and being with him but I am getting fed up. Since he intially asked me out (which I know took a lot of courage - he's not very confident about himself) its always had to be me who's suggested we go out. He always says yes but its got to the point where although he always says he's had a good time I start to feel because he never asks me its like I'm dragging him out! I'm not the most confident person either and I guess if he did suggest something it would reassure me. I think its just because he's afraid that I'd say no or something, but I'm totally fed up and thinking about just not saying anything and waiting to see if he will actually make a move for once. Although if I do that I think there's a decent chance he won't and that'll be that.
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hey! well perhaps in the early stages you want to keep the relationship 'special' - just between the two of you and then as things progress you're scared that changing things (i.e telling people about it, going out with friends etc) might ruin things? Take things slowly - for the early stages, keep things quiet if you want - to see how things go and then gradually start introducing her to your friends. Rather than organizing a big night out or something with a big group of friends, have you got one or two closer friends that perhaps you and your girlfriend could go out for a drink/meal with? As for your family - again don't jump into having to intoduce them to your girlfriend, don't make it such a big thing. When they ask what you've been up to lately - just mention you're going out with your girl (insert name here!) . they'll soon realise she's your girlfriend!
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She's interested...but scared. What to say? (12/31 Update!)
liltasha replied to Chan209's topic in Trust and Relationships
well done! hope everything goes well for you two! -
I don't know if your phrasing was just mixed up playmate0925 but if not, then I don't agree with the sentence: If you're unable to say 'no' - drunk/drugged/whatever reason - but you do not want to have sexual intercourse with someone then its rape surely. If this was a girl who was drunk and woke up to find some guy having sex with her then that would be rape right? Same goes thereforeeee if the drunk person is male. tiger_lilies - if you boyfriend was drunk and didn't know what was going on until too late, then he's done nothing wrong - albeit be a little naive perhaps about going upstairs. Imagine the distress if this was a girl who had been raped - your boyfriend will be experiencing the same emotions and needs YOUR support. Its up to him whether he reports this or not, but please support him. You say you trust him and that the people who know him well (his friends and family) believe what happened. I'm having difficulty trying to figure out exactly why you 'think' you can 'forgive' him - if he was 'raped' then he's got nothing to be sorry about - its not his fault. You shouldn't be making him feel guilty. If you can't deal with it - and think that in the longterm this has wrecked your relationship then thats your problem but I don't really see how this is helping him cope with what must be very distressing. Whatever you are feeling, this guy has done nothing wrong and thereforeeee deserves your support - at least help him through it - in your first sentence you described him as your 'bestfriend' - treat him like one.
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How are shy girls when away from their crush?
liltasha replied to steelwool's topic in Dating Advice
If you ask for her number then she probably will then know you like her! But rather than just saying 'Can I have your phone number?' why not try and line up a date at the same time - ask her if she'd like to go to a movie, lunch etc with you and then say 'maybe if I take your number we could arrange something later'. Hope it all goes well! -
your girlfriend likes you for who you are - she must know that you're a little shy. Do what HollyBells suggests - get her a nice bunch of flowers, take her for a walk somewhere quiet and just tell her how you feel. Explain that you find it hard to talk about your feelings sometimes but you want her to know how much you care about her. I think your girlfriend will appreciate it even more knowing how hard it probably is for you to talk about these things. I think though that once you get past the first time of talking about this, then it will get easier - and you will both benefit from you feeling confident enough to be more romantic with her. I can sympathize with you - I find it hard to talk about my feelings - quite insecure and shy also and I think I've probably let so many chances go because of it. I'm determined that this won't stop me in the future. Good luck - Hope everything goes well for you.
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If she's invited you to spend New years with her then she mustn't have been upset that you tried to kiss her - probably just caught her a bit surprised. She's probably as nervous as you! I hope her inviting you has made you a bit more confident about the two of you - and at midnight, why not go for the traditional kiss?! Good luck, hope it all works out!