Which is worse..

[HealingHandsWarmHeart]

Which do you think is more morally wrong:

 

Being involved with a married man/woman ...

 

or ....

 

skipping out on your restaurant check?

[annie24]

i vote being involved with the married, especially if the spouse doesn't know about it. it's one thing if they are married, but they are in the process of divorcing.

 

i've accidentally skipped out on a restaurant check. i was in a foreign country, so excited to see the surroundings, i hopped on the bus and forgot to pay the bill!!!

[CallingAllAngels]

i vote being involved with the married, especially if the spouse doesn't know about it. it's one thing if they are married, but they are in the process of divorcing.

 

i've accidentally skipped out on a restaurant check. i was in a foreign country, so excited to see the surroundings, i hopped on the bus and forgot to pay the bill!!!

 

I'm with Annie on this......

 

There is no comparison...

 

Money is money...

 

Infidelity destroys lives, and not just the two people involved.

 

The effects are far reaching.

 

It effects every aspect of their lives. And their families lives. Their parent's lives.

 

And Godforbid if their are children.

 

It's complete devastation.

 

I know because I lived through it.

 

~Allie

[pinkelephant]

is there even a comparison?! one is completely a morally wrong. you're destroying a MARRIAGE! ah!

[Gracelove]

Oooo, this is hard because they are both bad.

 

Of course infidelity is probably far worse. But with infidelity both people are willing participants (the married person and the other person).

 

But skipping out on a bill (if you do it on purpose) is outright stealing.

[RayKay]

I would not do either (except as Annie experienced if I totally somehow forgot...and when I remembered you bet I would be sending payment AND a REALLY FAT TIP; or say if they did not TELL you they were married!), but if I had to weigh them I DEFINITELY pick being involved with someone married as "more" morally wrong.

[annie24]

I would not do either (except as Annie experienced if I totally somehow forgot...and when I remembered you bet I would be sending payment AND a REALLY FAT TIP; or say if they did not TELL you they were married!), but if I had to weigh them I DEFINITELY pick being involved with someone married as "more" morally wrong.

 

hahaha, i was in a restaurant in the middle of the atlas mountains, didn't remember the name and i can't write in arabic, lol! otherwise, yes, i would have mailed payment!

[shadesofmediocrity]

Morals....hm.....contemplated this and I don't think I even have them in the traditional sense.

Being involved with somebody who is committed to somebody else without that person's knowledge is in my opinion more inconsiderate and likely to bring negative consequences. So I think that is worse, but there are situations where the other could be true.

[kevinm]

One involves a person, or several peoples emotions. The other is just money. No comparison in my book. Infidelity takes the cake.

 

-Kevin

[shadesofmediocrity]

One involves a person, or several peoples emotions. The other is just money. No comparison in my book. Infidelity takes the cake.

 

My point more elegantly stated.

Being an empathetic being, and valuing my relationships and emotions more than a plate of food...by my definition of 'worse', cheating is it.

[kevinm]

Shades... not to be a jerk... but everything you do is emotional to the extent that you are human. Humans are not thinking beings that feel, we are feeling beings that think. That is to say, everyone is empathetic simply by being human... the only factor that would change would be the depth of ones empathy.

 

Is there an emotional value to one dashing and dining? Sure. Maybe the waiter was mad, or the owner upset because you didn't pay the bill, maybe you yourself feel bad for walking out on the meal. Does this come close to the emotions involved with infidelity? Not in my book.

 

-Kevin

[doyathink]

One only involves money, the other involves people, hearts, and life. I think infidelity is worse by far.

[DN]

They are both wrong and so I don't think which is worse matters. It is not as if you have to make choice between one or the other - both can be avoided.

[Censored]

Well, it is an interesting question.

 

It does indeed seem as though the marriage one would be worse. But as DN pointed out, both are wrong, and both are avoidable.

 

I suppose it is the degree to which the consequences impact whether foreseen or not.

 

So if we look at some context, does it change the balance of the "moral" wrong scale if we hypothetically say:

 

The restaurant bill you skipped out on was for $6,500 as you had some very expensive wine. Now let us imagine that the business is family run, and due to a downturn in the economy, the impact of your actions actually send the restaurant broke. Because of this the family can no longer pay their mortgage, they lose their house, all their belongings and after 20 years of hard work, are in the gutter.

 

From this, the father feels an incredible amount of shame and guilt for what he believes is a failing to look after and provide for his family. Subsequently he commits suicide.

 

Far fetched, maybe, possible, definetly.

[Portage]

lol, hard decison between scamming the waitress out of her hard earned money or scamming ones spouse.

 

HMMMMM, let me get back to you.

[ghost69]

i've skipped out on checks. that's easy. i would not bring karma on me or ruin someone's relationship by contributing to helping cheaters out. i don't want to be one and never will be.

[shadesofmediocrity]

Shades... not to be a jerk... but everything you do is emotional to the extent that you are human. Humans are not thinking beings that feel, we are feeling beings that think. That is to say, everyone is empathetic simply by being human... the only factor that would change would be the depth of ones empathy.

 

Is there an emotional value to one dashing and dining? Sure. Maybe the waiter was mad, or the owner upset because you didn't pay the bill, maybe you yourself feel bad for walking out on the meal. Does this come close to the emotions involved with infidelity? Not in my book.

 

I was being incredibly blunt and generalizing brutally, I know. That was what I meant in essense though - as a human I am prone to making judgments based on emotionality. Perhaps prone is too weak a word though; being human also comes with a good dose of denial. Naturally we cannot separate intellect and instinct, emotions. I would feel guilty for not paying the restaurant bill, but I would feel more guilty breaking the trust of my partner. I imagine there are weird situations where the guilt of denying somebody payment would surpass that of sleeping around. Generally though my empathy would be far more biased toward somebody I am intimate with rather than a basic stranger providing me a meal.