I'm scared

[confusedmama]

For the past 3 days I've received emails from my ex about thing I have done with the kids questioning my parenting skills. It makes me nervous because I don't know how he gets this information. He knows things about where we are, who we are with and what we are doing. I am afraid. For the first time both in the relationship and now that the marriage has ended I am very afraid of him. I don't know what to do or how to respond. I keep thinking htings will settle down and they seem to continue to get worse. My heart is pounding, my stomach is churning and my hands are shaking. I wish I knew what to do.

[Brittney2008]

So do you think he's been following and stalking you? I would print out the emails for evidence and file for a restraining order.

 

I'm a wee bit confused. Do you think he's going to harm you and your children? Was he violent during the marriage? What caused you to break up?

 

Kinda need some more information.

[confusedmama]

It is just a feeling of general unease. There was no physical abuse during the marriage just a lot of emotional and verbal abuse. Although he has never been diagnosed I'm pretty positive he is narcissistic and bi-polar. We divorced because of his numerous affairs and the inability to hold a steady job for more than a couple years.

 

I guess the main reason I am scared is because I don't know what he is capable of or what he wants. We just got out of another court session and while he didn't get exactly what he wanted he got more visitation than I consider good for the children.

 

I am unsure how he has come by the information he has. I guess he would have to be following the children or having us followed-although I can't see him spending any $$ for something like that.

[juicey]

Don't reply. You don't have to. Anything you say or write he can use to twist whatever story he wants to make.

 

If he wants to know so bad, make him take you to court. He has to prove his allegations, don't feed into it.

[CallingAllAngels]

Is your attorney still on retainer? If the emails are threatening, bring them to your attorney. He/She can get you a restraining order.

 

I know what you have been through.

 

Good luck to you.

 

My best.

 

~Allie

[just M.E.]

Bring the emails to your attorney and to your local law enforcement. Although a restraining order is almost useless, getting one will allow you to have him arrested if he comes within the boundaries.

 

This is a veiled emotional threat, letting you know he is watching you. Be very calm and collected when you talk to the police, don't let there be an implication that you are reacting hysterically.

 

I would definitely take some action immediately.

[mommymommymommy2]

I would take this seriously. The possibility of mental illness is a huge red flag. Just because he wasn't physical before doesn't mean he won't be now. I'm going through a divorce myself. Document everything, keep all emails and let people know your concerns. Does he have access to your home? And yes, talk to your attorney and the police.

 

Mom2

[confusedmama]

Thanks for all the replies. I thought I was going crazy or over-reacting. I sent the first email to my attorney-yes he is still on retainer as we go back to court in June-but not the other 2. Unsure if a restraining order would work or be the best as he has court ordered visitation with my oldest son every Wed. and then with all 3 on Thurs. as he has to drop them off at my house I don't know how that would work.

 

I'm unsure that anyone else would consider the emails threatening-the fact that he knows everywhere I've been and who has taken the boys to practice is threatening enough for me. What gives him the right to watch or hear about our every move?

 

I'm sure it is intimidation and it is working, although I haven't answered the emails confirming or denying his allegations. It is just nervewracking to continue to go through this and I honestly have to wonder how far he will push this time?

 

Thanks for the reminders to document-I hate having to do that!!