Don't feel pretty enough around other female friends..

[BronzedSkin123]

I have always had self esteem issues but as I've gotten older and grown into myself I felt as though I've overcame them.

 

Men have often complimented me and told me that I am pretty/beautiful/could be a model etc. But when I hang out with another female friend men will walk up and talk to them and not me. I just stand there looking like an idiot. It's like they'll take a good look at us and strike up a conversation with the other friend even if she isn't as attractive as I am. It never fails. Years ago, once my friend and I went through the drive thru at McDonald's and some guy looked right over me and asked for my friend's number in the passenger's seat. Don't let it be a friend who is lightskin then I really go ignored (I am a darkskin African American woman) I feel like an ugly beast. Once I went to the mall with my lightskin best friend, and in the shoe store the guy completely ignored me and acted as if I didn't exist as he was chatting up a conversation with her. Yet I visited this store again by myself, and then he suddenly notices me and says I am beautiful. I don't get it. Am I only beautiful by myself

 

Even in class, there is this guy who is in my group who I can tell is attracted to me. AT least I think he is. Everytime I walk pass in the hallway he notices me and is eyeing me down (I see him doing this in the corner of my eye). Yet in class when we are doing our group project he talks to all the other women but me. He'll say a few words and keep it short.

 

When this happens I start to feel unattractive and maximize any small flaw I have about myself. I end up going home feeling incredibly ugly and never wanting to hang out with another group of women again. Sometimes I think of things I can do to correct my appearance; plastic surgery etc I just hate being looked over everytime i hang out with some female friends, I just don't have a good time. Even in clubs I hate being amongst other women because I feel like i don't have as much to offer as them. I feel like it takes too much to get noticed when you're in a room filled with other women, even if they aren't attractive. I don't have enough personality, flair, humor or confidence to stand out.

 

can someone give me a few pearls of wisdom on this?

[Crazyaboutdogs]

I was always the wallflower type as well...the one who got overlooked by the men, especially when there were other women around. The flirty women with the come hither look in their eyes will always get more attention from the men...not because of who she is, but of the fantasy that these men have about getting naked with her. I think I would rather have men like that steer clear of me...if these other women want to be noticed in that kind of way...hey, to each her own. I give off a no-nonsense vibe...I may be down to earth and funny but most of the men in clubs want the sexual fantasy not the down-to-earth. So, while a lot of men claim they would prefer the girl-next door Mary-Ann over sexy, sexpot Ginger (Gilligan's Island) the guys in clubs actually prefer Ginger. Don't let it bother you...these guys are not worth bothering about. One day you will meet a down to earth guy who sees beyond the superficial.

[PocoDiablo]

Pearls of wisdom? I dunno, but I'll try!

 

I have always had self esteem issues but as I've gotten older and grown into myself I felt as though I've overcame them.

 

Men have often complimented me and told me that I am pretty/beautiful/could be a model etc. But when I hang out with another female friend men will walk up and talk to them and not me.

Thoughts:

 

1. PUA's (Pick Up Artists) have long learned how to meet attractive women. They do it by ignoring the best looking woman. This is more so for exceptionally beautiful women. It's called a "Neg Hit". (Note: I don't condone this tactic.) Basically, when she is really attractive, you speak with her peers and give her a little bit of teasing. Then you move to ask her out (or not, depending if you may see her again.) At this point, she has lost self confidence, so giving her any attention results in a heighted response from her and better success. So, following that theory, you're the best looking woman of your group!

 

2. Most men are afraid to talk to exceptionally attractive women, because they are too shy and don't know what to say. I admit, as much as I have met women and asked them out, I still have a hard time talking to exceptionally beautiful women. So, following that theory, you're STILL the best looking woman of your group!

 

I just stand there looking like an idiot. It's like they'll take a good look at us and strike up a conversation with the other friend even if she isn't as attractive as I am. It never fails. Years ago, once my friend and I went through the drive thru at McDonald's and some guy looked right over me and asked for my friend's number in the passenger's seat.

A guy I was giving advice to just the other day was mentioning how he went out to a club. His confidence was a little low, so he started out by "talking to women who were below my league." He then worked up confidence and started talking to an attractive woman. This is a behavior I must say most guys follow. They don't feel the attractive woman would "accept" them. So, by this theory, you're STILL the most attractive woman.

 

Wow, three for three. Shall I continue? Okay!

 

Don't let it be a friend who is lightskin then I really go ignored (I am a darkskin African American woman) I feel like an ugly beast. Once I went to the mall with my lightskin best friend, and in the shoe store the guy completely ignored me and acted as if I didn't exist as he was chatting up a conversation with her. Yet I visited this store again by myself, and then he suddenly notices me and says I am beautiful. I don't get it. Am I only beautiful by myself

I've worked in Washington DC and I must admit I've never seen so many beautiful black women. I would love to meet them, but for personal reasons I feel there are probably cultural issues that they may not like me, so at the time I never said hi to any of them. Eventually, I made friends with a very attractive black woman and she was a sweetheart. I was a fool ... but enough about me. With this theory, you're STILL attractive, even though guys are afraid of you. Dang.

 

Four for four? More?

 

Even in class, there is this guy who is in my group who I can tell is attracted to me. AT least I think he is. Everytime I walk pass in the hallway he notices me and is eyeing me down (I see him doing this in the corner of my eye). Yet in class when we are doing our group project he talks to all the other women but me. He'll say a few words and keep it short.

Look around this site. Many guys have a very hard time talking to women. Approach anxiety is very high with most guys, as we're never taught how to meet women, ask them on dates, etc. A lack of skill translates to fear of approach. Geez, again, you're still attractive.

 

When this happens I start to feel unattractive and maximize any small flaw I have about myself. I end up going home feeling incredibly ugly and never wanting to hang out with another group of women again. Sometimes I think of things I can do to correct my appearance; plastic surgery etc I just hate being looked over everytime i hang out with some female friends, I just don't have a good time. Even in clubs I hate being amongst other women because I feel like i don't have as much to offer as them. I feel like it takes too much to get noticed when you're in a room filled with other women, even if they aren't attractive.

I'm sorry to hear this. However this seems to tell me where the real issue is ...

 

I don't have enough personality, flair, humor or confidence to stand out.

Bingo. It's not your looks, it's your lack of self confidence. This is your problem. Your body language is probably very "stand-offish."

 

can someone give me a few pearls of wisdom on this?

Pearls of wisdom, coming up.

 

This is all easily solved. First, send me your phone number and we'll go on a date. You buy me a drink and I'll help ya out. (Kidding!)

 

Really what you need to do is invest some time:

 

(a) Asking your closest friends for advice. Tell them you want to hear the truth, no matter how brutal. Be prepared for them to tell you that you have bad posture, bad breath, bad eye contact, or you snort when you laugh. Whatever it is, it's something you can work to fix. Unless you know what needs checking out, you'll forever be at a loss. Your friends can be a great mirror. Don't take things personally, they have an action plan for you and you need to embrace it. Guess what I learned? I have Halitosis (chronic bad breath) and once someone told me it was easy to fix.

 

(b) Pick up some books on body langauge, flirting, and dating. Yeah, they're lame to have to go buy, but we as people often are not taught how to date, how to flirt, how to be mature and all that. Read them. Get some ideas about what can be fun. For me, I have a few mottos that work for me, such as "Never be serious." When I talk to women, I avoid serious topics and serious answers. Try asking me how old I am, and I'll answer 17 or 64 or "Who wants to know?" You may also have to learn how to make the first move. You know... smile ... say "Hello". Yeah, real difficult, that may take you a long time to master. NOT!

 

© Go out and practice. Go shopping and start saying Hi to everyone. Make small talk. Practice. See what works, or what doesn't. And don't go out with the first guy who asks for your phone number. Go out with the first guy who tells you to give him your number. Trust me on this one.

 

Whatcha thing? Pearls? Or sand?

[AmIafool]

I think PocoDiablo is on to something here. My boyfriend has told me that when he and his friends were younger, that's the exact strategy they'd use on the more attractive women. Why? Because they aren't used to that and it gets their attention. Guys might be assuming you are so used to being hit on, that their only way to get your attention is to use the strategies Poco mentioned. And you know what? It often works. My bf tested it when he was about your age and had this woman at a bar pretty much throwing herself at him by the end of the night. It drove her crazy that he wasn't falling all over her like the other guys were.

 

Unfortunately, you don't have an inflated sense of confidence about yourself, so when these strategies are used on you, you assume it is due to lack of interest, or that they didn't even notice you.

 

Also, there is the self-confidence factor. I'm no raving beauty like you but I can definitely tell you there is a difference in the responses I get from men when I am in a good mood, as opposed to when I am feeling down.

 

You are the second one today who feels inferior to friends getting attention instead of you - check RRand's post "insecurity". Maybe similar things are happening to her. She's probably underestimating herself the way you are.

[Diggitydave]

Maybe because you're looking for it? woops had to edit that.

[Crazyaboutdogs]

I think the above responses might be valid for a subset of men, but in my experience going out, I never noticed that the men had a problem approaching the attractive women...it was the average woman they ignored and the pretty one with the short skirt, plunging neckline and giggly silly behaviour they flocked towards. Even the not so attractive men didn't have a problem approaching the bimbos. And if a man has to play this stupid game of, well, I will ignore the good looking one so as to make her run after me...then that guy is not worth having.

[BronzedSkin123]

thank you for your insight.

 

If what you say is true about guys doing the neghit I find that the very reason why I don't like going out with a group of other women. I always sensed that men were trying to wage a compeition by playing mind games between women. This has happened to me a lot, where my friend and I will go order some food and the cashier will totally ignore me as if I am not even standing there. I literally felt like crap. I used to hate going out with other women because i felt so ugly. I used to look in the mirror and think of things I could do to change my appearance.

 

are there any tips I can do when this takes place?

[Crazyaboutdogs]

Are you talking about female cashiers or male cashiers? Are your friends very loud...it is the loud ones who attract the most attention. I would suggest you simply be yourself and don't try to be like your friends.

[rrand]

Poco,

What a great post, made me smile for sure.

 

As for bronzedskin, I know that exact feeling. But here, think about this:

If any guy (or girl) ever tells you that you are beautiful, that you could be a model, then I would be willing to put big money on the table that you are gorgeous. Society is incredibly critical of beauty. Think about how much incredibly beautiful people like celebrities get bashed on. If people are telling you that you're beautiful, you are. It may seem like they are saying it lightly, but when was the last time you told someone they were beautiful and didn't really mean it? For me, never.

 

As for the feeling of always getting looked over, I'm struggling with it myself. I'm starting to really believe that it's my attitude and my pathetic self confidence. I think that if both of us actually went out into the world thinking that we were going to have to fight off the hoards of guys approaching us, that might actually become the case.

 

Easier said than done, I know.

 

Last thing-

I can't tell you how many times I have walked by incredibly beautiful African American women and been sooooo jealous. I think that a lot of guys are simply afraid to approach African American women because there is a stereotype that black women are out of their league.

 

Hey, if you come up with anything, let me know.

Good luck.

[Aviatormy]

Might I suggest you start carrying around a few tennis balls and juggle them when you see an attractive guy. This will show coordination and confidence, or it will make you look silly and cute JK.

 

Just start smiling at the guys that you find attractive. Give them an inviting look. If they have the courage to come to you then your on your way. On the flip side... I have been approached by women before, women that I thought were out of my league. You might find it cute in my reaction that i get nervous. I usually set the "hook" very well and start to date them. try it out

[BronzedSkin123]

unfortunately, I don't have that come hiter look that comes naturally to some women. I am very shy and tend to not make eye contact. I am scared that if I look at a guy he will give me a "you're not hot" look. So I feel it's safer to just look at the ground and make it seem as if I could care less if they are checking me out or not. sometimes, when I do muster up enough courage to smile at guy who is looking at me they don't smile back a. It's a huge blow to my ego. I'm thinking, "maybe he doesn't think I'm hot" and I feel sad. I am very self conscious about my appearance

 

 

Clubs are just not for me. The women are confident but act very loose..I come accross as a uptight secretary type. And I don't get noticed in these kind of atmospheres. Yet if I am at a big crowded mall or something shopping i'll get noticed but in a club amongst other women I feel like it's impossible to get noticed. There is just TOO much competition..women are trying very hard..and it's like you have to be practically naked with your azzcheeks hanging out to get approached..it's not like the women are so superhot(maybe a few) it's just that they are very very fliratacious, sexual, and and good at being seductress and I can't compete with that. I HATE clubs.

[BronzedSkin123]

I don't believe them when they say I am pretty or beautiful. I just think they are one of those kind of guys who hits on everybody and tells every woman that. cause some men hit on every woman they see

 

when I am by myself, I feel confident and beautiful. but around another friend, especially one who is also attractive I feel threatened. I fear going out in public with them because I know she will get approached more, and I'll look and feel defeated. and this will probably make the friend feel like she has the upperhand when we go out, too

[BronzedSkin123]

The guy friend that I posted about...I used to HATE hanging out with him especially at the mall oh my god..he would just RAVE about how hot some of the girls passing by were..you'd think he never seen an attractive woman before. and of course, i felt VERY insecure. hanging out with him, i feel the MOST insecure in my life. and then we'll stop at the bookstore and he and his friend will look at pinup magazines loudly oogling over how drop dead gorgeous the women were. it's impossible to not be bothered by this. his behavior annoyed me so much that i demanded we leave the mall after a short visit. is this another tactic men use to make women feel insecure? if so why do they do this? i don't understand why someone gets gratification out of making somebody feel unattractive for no reason. It's not like I was walking around with my head up in the air or anything. I am very humble and shy..

[AmIafool]

Clubs are just not for me. The women are confident but act very loose..I come accross as a uptight secretary type. And I don't get noticed in these kind of atmospheres. Yet if I am at a big crowded mall or something shopping i'll get noticed but in a club amongst other women I feel like it's impossible to get noticed. There is just TOO much competition..women are trying very hard..and it's like you have to be practically naked with your azzcheeks hanging out to get approached..it's not like the women are so superhot(maybe a few) it's just that they are very very fliratacious, sexual, and and good at being seductress and I can't compete with that. I HATE clubs.

 

You can see the kind of guys these are by which women they are approaching.

 

Even so, I hear you. I always had the same problem with clubs. I would turn into the uptight secretary type and kind of stand there looking at the other women and feeling utterly hopeless. Why? Because I wanted so much to be able to enjoy myself the way they were, but I just couldn't. It didn't matter how good I looked - I've never been one who just knew how to party and let loose. I would leave those places feeling so unsexy!!

 

But when going other places where I felt more at ease, I would get noticed more.

 

AT any rate, you probably aren't going to find good boyfriend material in the club scene anyway, so let the other girls and their azzcheeks have them.

[rrand]

lol we should go out sometimes and see if maybe our combined lack of self confidence and feeling of insecurity around other women might create some kind of chemical in the air that will suddenly make every guy on the planet flock our direction.

 

Just kidding.

[BronzedSkin123]

lol you never know it might work

[PocoDiablo]

thank you for your insight.

 

If what you say is true about guys doing the neghit I find that the very reason why I don't like going out with a group of other women.

This is a very well known technique amoung PUA's. Google "Mystery method" and "Neg Hit" and you'll find tons of stuff. Lots of guys know about this.

 

I always sensed that men were trying to wage a compeition by playing mind games between women. This has happened to me a lot, where my friend and I will go order some food and the cashier will totally ignore me as if I am not even standing there. I literally felt like crap. I used to hate going out with other women because i felt so ugly. I used to look in the mirror and think of things I could do to change my appearance.

 

are there any tips I can do when this takes place?

Yeah, strike up a conversation. Start with "Hey, I bet you're too shy to say Hi to me, right? Don't worry, I don't bite. What's your name?" Then joke around a little and walk off. Watch his body language. Does his head go down? Do his eyes go down? That means he feels inferior to you. If they go left or right that means he finds you unattractive. Pay attention to that. Body language is easy to learn and understand. You need to go buy a book on it.

 

Hey, you should buy the book "Super Flirt." I bought it for my wife and she LOVED it. Do yourself a favor and get it.

 

unfortunately, I don't have that come hiter look that comes naturally to some women. I am very shy and tend to not make eye contact.

Well, that's your problem right there. Now, go back to what I said about eye contact. Do your eyes go down... or left/right? Down means you're submissive but interested, left/right means you're dominant and not interested. Rolling up means you're totally annoyed.

 

I am scared that if I look at a guy he will give me a "you're not hot" look. So I feel it's safer to just look at the ground and make it seem as if I could care less if they are checking me out or not. sometimes, when I do muster up enough courage to smile at guy who is looking at me they don't smile back a. It's a huge blow to my ego. I'm thinking, "maybe he doesn't think I'm hot" and I feel sad. I am very self conscious about my appearance

Honey, are you going to walk through life with your head down and never see the light of day? Arrive safey on deaths' door? Never take a risk in your life? Never live one day?

 

How did you learn to ride a bike? Someone else helped you, and you promptly crash and fall down! You get hurt! And then you get back up and try again. My ski instructor told me "If you're not falling down, you're not trying hard enough." We, as people, learn by making mistakes. There are relatively few people who actually get lucky enough to do it right the first time, which they attribute to luck. Everyone else has to try, try again. And you have to go TRY something new and FAIL 100 times before you figure out how to do it right.

 

This is nothing new, people have been doing this for centuries. How do you think we found out anything? We make mistakes. (Long story short, we have a biological reason to learn from this.)

 

Clubs are just not for me. The women are confident but act very loose..I come accross as a uptight secretary type. And I don't get noticed in these kind of atmospheres. Yet if I am at a big crowded mall or something shopping i'll get noticed but in a club amongst other women I feel like it's impossible to get noticed. There is just TOO much competition..women are trying very hard..and it's like you have to be practically naked with your azzcheeks hanging out to get approached..it's not like the women are so superhot(maybe a few) it's just that they are very very fliratacious, sexual, and and good at being seductress and I can't compete with that. I HATE clubs.

Yeah, well there is a reason why they call them "meat markets." It's where you find loose and horny people. So what you don't like them, neither do I. But remember, you do have to advertise that you are friendly, single, and fun. If you come accross as arrogant, stuck up, and stand-offi-sh (like I used to do) then no one will want to meet you.

 

Experiment: Next time you see a guy you think is cute, smile and stare at him. Watch how his eyes move when he looks away ... IF he looks away. (Down or left/right.) (If he doesn't look away after 7-10 seconds, look away and DOWN.) Keep staring and see if he looks back. If he does, smile again and look down. Then wait about 15 seconds and look back, repeat. Wait until he comes over. The SMILE is key.

 

Tell me what happens. (This is a technique I teach guys.)

 

when I am by myself, I feel confident and beautiful. but around another friend, especially one who is also attractive I feel threatened.

So make friends with some ugly fat girls. Then go out and see what happens.

 

I fear going out in public with them because I know she will get approached more, and I'll look and feel defeated. and this will probably make the friend feel like she has the upperhand when we go out, too

This isn't a video game on who gets picked up more, is it? Quality trumps quantity. You just have to learn to be more like her. Watch what she does. Mimic her actions. Use her lines. Be her and you'll get results like her. Learn from her.

 

The guy friend that I posted about...I used to HATE hanging out with him especially at the mall oh my god..he would just RAVE about how hot some of the girls passing by were..you'd think he never seen an attractive woman before. and of course, i felt VERY insecure. hanging out with him, i feel the MOST insecure in my life. and then we'll stop at the bookstore and he and his friend will look at pinup magazines loudly oogling over how drop dead gorgeous the women were. it's impossible to not be bothered by this. his behavior annoyed me so much that i demanded we leave the mall after a short visit. is this another tactic men use to make women feel insecure? if so why do they do this? i don't understand why someone gets gratification out of making somebody feel unattractive for no reason. It's not like I was walking around with my head up in the air or anything. I am very humble and shy..

Those guys are jerks. Jesus, they sound like scum of the earth. Stay away from them. No manners whatsoever!

 

lol we should go out sometimes and see if maybe our combined lack of self confidence and feeling of insecurity around other women might create some kind of chemical in the air that will suddenly make every guy on the planet flock our direction.

Hey, she's mine!

 

Wait, how about we all three go out?

[Crazyaboutdogs]

Yeah, strike up a conversation. Start with "Hey, I bet you're too shy to say Hi to me, right? Don't worry, I don't bite. What's your name?" Then joke around a little and walk off. Watch his body language. Does his head go down? Do his eyes go down? That means he feels inferior to you. If they go left or right that means he finds you unattractive. Pay attention to that. Body language is easy to learn and understand. You need to go buy a book on it.

 

I think someone could learn all those tips just by watching dogs play in the dog park!!

[PocoDiablo]

I learned a bit about people by studying animal behavior, so you are indeed correct. A very fascinating book is "Dr. Tatiana's advice to all creation". It explains things about animals, insects, etc., and there are direct correlations to people. It's a little weird...

[Crazyaboutdogs]

Hmm, well, I think certain behaviours are universal to humans and other animals....naysayers tend to accuse pet owners of anthropomorphizing...but I have seen the emotions written all over my dog's face (sadness, brattiness, guilt etc). One time I saw a bird wailing beside a dead bird at the side of the road (it was clear the bird was distressed and going through what we would consider grief). However, I am not so sure I want to take my dating/attracting the opposite sex cues from the non-human world!

 

I am trying to figure out if your dogs are Labs. It looks like they are quite tall.

[JadedStar]

You might be putting off a vibe that is more stand offish than your firneds..

 

CAD i totally disagree that the women who attract men are always putting off a "come hither" vibe. It is the women with the personality that is most approachable who will get more guys....there is nothing trashy about a girl who is approachable and friendly. And some on this thread are talking about what happens in clubs as if that is the real world...clubs are trashy period so of course in that environment the hoochies get the most attention. Most decent people don't dream of picking up men in those sxually charged envirnoments....

 

You are making a lot of generalizations that are not necessarily true....and no, most men (not decent men)don't only approach the bimbo looking type. Again, the club envirnonment is not the real world.....men who gravitate toward the bimbo are not men decent girls want to date anyway...most men who are relationship minded would choose MaryAnn types over Ginger types .... and would approach the mary ann look more frequently.

 

To the OP, pretty doesn't do much if you are stand offish ... do you feel you are approachable and friendly? Could you be putting off vibes you don't realize? if so, that would make absolute sense why your friends are the ones approached. Are you shy? Shy people are often mistaken for snotty. When i was shy when i was younger people assumed i was a snob and that hurt so much because i was just shy and didn't know how to approach people....i have completely shed that shy persona but at the time it was very much a deterrent to making friends or dates.

[Crazyaboutdogs]

I have been to enough non-club events, singles get togethers organized by the Jewish community which attracts the non-club going types...the down to earth types...and have seen that there are plenty of approachable women, nice women that don't have the men approaching them because the men are too busy approaching the bimbos, the flirty ones etc. To many men, approachable means flirtatious come hither..it does not mean someone who is more natural....they want the show...the big act rather than the natural. Sure, they may sit down at dinner and talk to you...but the ones they actually ask to go out with are the flirtatious ones with the come hither looks. I remember being at one such dinner where all the men and women were asked to take seats so that the arrangement was woman-man-woman-man around the table. Do you know that most of the men remained standing and wouldn't commit to a table until all the women were seated so that they could try their luck at the flirty women table. Oh, yes...you could watch their eyes as they darted around looking to see which women were sitting where. Then there was a mad dash of the men to sit at the table with a group of women who were clearly suzy floozies. I was at a table with 3 other friends and not one man sat down with us...we were no slouches, we just weren't of the giggly, silly, batting of the eyelashes set. The men congregated at the tables with the popular in-crowd women.

[PocoDiablo]

However, I am not so sure I want to take my dating/attracting the opposite sex cues from the non-human world!

You'd be surprised what you can learn, it's very interesting. Don't know it until you've tried it.

 

I am trying to figure out if your dogs are Labs. It looks like they are quite tall.

The dogs in my avatar are Blue Great Danes - 175 pounds each, standing about 6' 6" when they are on their hind legs. Named Poco and Diablo, respectively.

 

I agree with JadedStar - being shy often is a turn-off. You appear uninterested, which makes a lot of people go away. I used to have a big problem with that, as I never smiled, never talked to people, etc. The reality was that I was very shy and didn't know how to talk to people.

 

And JeckyllNHyde, one thing to remember is that different guys like different looks. My absolute ideal woman is one dressed in tight blue jeans and a fitted white T-shirt. That's it. So this guy may have some other "look" he prefers. So what? Don't you have a "look" you like on guys?

[JadedStar]

CAD, the point being that men who make a mad dash for the floozies are not usually the type of men a decent women wants to attract....

 

In my experience the well put together women who have an air of confidence, who dress nice and know how to converse are the ones men flock too. I am not sure what you call a floozy....a woman who dresses nicely, wears makeup and high heels? That to me isn't a floozy...men do flock to the more girly looking girls on most occasions but that doesn't make them floozies or come hither...

 

Even women will flock towards the other women who are the most confident, best groomed and best conversators...this isn't jsut something men do.

 

I honestly think your definition of a floozy varies from some.....a woman who wears makeup, heels and who knows how to dress to flatter her figure is not a floozy but based on some of your definitions that seems to be how you define them....of course men will flock to the women who are put together the nicest. that's a gimmie. When on the dating scene if one doesn't put some extra care into their appearance they are shooting themselves in their own foot.

[PocoDiablo]

You know, the funny thing is that you're classifying women based on looks. I don't believe that's fair - looks often have nothing to do with personality, once you get to know the person.

 

My wife's been called some pretty nasty names, and she's got to be one of the most genuine, sincere, caring, and giving women I've ever met in my life. As a result, I tend to think people who call other people names have self-confidence issues. Almost everyone can be a great person with the right people/friends, so why call them names?