Have you ever "moved too fast"?

[Boughs]

Moving too fast in a relationship may be sex on the first date, but I was actually thinking that moving too fast could also be emotionally.

 

Right now I'm falling for this girl... Its been a month and I've been telling her that she is changing my perspective on things, she is also making me fall for her (not said love... because I don't... *yet* I think). But anyway, we compliment each other a lot... and it gets us to a point where we begin saying things that I didn't tell ex girlfriends (when I was dating them) until a few months in. I suppose its the comfort I find in her.

 

Think I'm moving too fast perhaps? It could be infatuation... but I think there is plenty honesty to it too. I suppose I'm trying to separate emotion from reason the best I can.

 

Any outside judgments?

[GizMo567]

Head over heels. You have now just fell head over heels. Weeee! But getting to a serious point - Do you think you can be together with her for the long run and vice versa? Have you two talked about being serious and taking it further. Before anything can happen - the motive has to be out there. You don't want to get hurt when you fall completely in love with her and she doesn't reciprocate the same feelings back. If she feels the same way, the better for you. Good luck in moving forward.

[Nixee]

I think pacing can be one of the trickiest parts in a new relationship. Which feels funny for me to admit now, because I never ever used to realize it when I was younger, yet truthfully, it has always caused problems.

 

Basically... there is nothing wrong with falling for someone really fast as long as they are feeling that same way too. But... if they are showing reservations.... if they express a need to move a bit slower and take some time, then you may need to cool off and let them ease into things.

 

Things become difficult when two people are not completely eye to eye. It doesn't mean they won't ever be eye to eye hopefully... but the beginning stages can be rough I think, because people adjust to things differently, and we all have different backgrounds and histories.

 

I personally tend to fall hard and fast as well, but I am also very guarded in some ways too. I think you have a good attitude about things right now. Recognize that it could still be just infatuation, even though it seems to have the makings of something great, and just accept it and appreciate it for that. Embrace it and take it one step at a time. Try not to obsess to much either..... that is always the hard part when you are starting to fall.

[lady00]

Story of my life! It usually doesn't end well for me, tough. I am working on taking a much slower approach. I think getting attached too fast and caring too much too soon is a recipe for disaster if things don't work out. It sounds like you're moving a bit too fast and you're still in the honeymoon stage. Once that wears off, it will be the real test of the relationship. I am worried about you--that if it doesn't work out you will be disproportionately emotionally hurt based on the amount of time together (I did that in my last relationship--fell hard and fast, thought we were on the same page, he expressed that he was into me etc.--we weren't--and I felt a blindsided, overly attached, and extremely hurt. Took me a year to heal). So, yeah, my advice is slower is better.