RayKay Posted March 1, 2008 Share Posted March 1, 2008 Believe me, if this was the only issue I would tell her she needs to work on herself and honestly stop being so controlling...no way I would stay with someone whom was this controlling of my hobbies and life overall..... This is not the only issue. These ups and downs and roller coasters have been going on since they have been together (which has also been on and off) and they have both been damaging to one another. I recall all her threads very well (even the ones she has deleted) and can say absolutely there is no way she should stay with this guy. This relationship is simply TOXIC. They feed that toxicity to one another repeatedly. I do think barbie needs to work on herself....but not with this guy. He IS deceptive and cheating (again it is not just this....). She needs to do it on her own before she is with someone, and by that time hopefully she chooses a healthier partner and relationship in first place. Link to comment
tiredofvampires Posted March 1, 2008 Share Posted March 1, 2008 Thank you for that elucidating post, RayKay. I do admit, I have some lapses in my understanding of this relationship's history. I have read just enough that when the engagement was announced, I felt a bit of "Uh oh...", but did not know all the ins and outs of that. The threads I read earlier on painted him in such a bad light that I was actually under the impression that the current bf and that guy were two separate guys, since this one is such a "loving guy" in so many ways. So I apologize, barbie, if I didn't know enough about this situation. All my advice stands as far as what YOU need to be working on, and WHY you make the choices that you do which only end up reinforcing your fearful beliefs about the person you are with. I still stand by what is important in a relationship to work, with trust and so forth. But if this guy is what RayKay says, I defer to that knowledge. Link to comment
tiredofvampires Posted March 1, 2008 Share Posted March 1, 2008 And um. Did I miss something along the way?....I thought barbie was pregnant?... Link to comment
Hope75 Posted March 1, 2008 Share Posted March 1, 2008 And um. Did I miss something along the way?....I thought barbie was pregnant?... Barbie is not pregnant. And having read her threads about this guy from day one I agree with RayKay 100%. If this were an isolated issue I too would encourage her to work on her part and work with him but given all the drama and trouble this relationship has been (off and on and off and on...) I just don't see the potential to fix it. I think Barbie would be better off letting him go and seeking some counseling to work on herself and spending some time alone getting comfortable with herself and her worth before getting into another relationship. Link to comment
barbielovesmac Posted March 1, 2008 Author Share Posted March 1, 2008 Everyone is RIGHT. You are ALL right. I am addicted to this man. I keep going back for more and more ... when i know it's not healty. It's sickening ... He's on that bus right now ... he's fine, i know it. Carefree. Overall OKAY. I'm here OBSESSING. Wondering. Making myself sick ... wondering ........ just wondering .... Link to comment
CallingAllAngels Posted March 1, 2008 Share Posted March 1, 2008 Everyone is RIGHT. You are ALL right. I am addicted to this man. I keep going back for more and more ... when i know it's not healty. It's sickening ... He's on that bus right now ... he's fine, i know it. Carefree. Overall OKAY. I'm here OBSESSING. Wondering. Making myself sick ... wondering ........ just wondering .... Barbie... You're human. You love him. Of course you're obsessing. Just try to calm down. I know that is so much more easier said than done. Can a friend come over to be with you? Link to comment
barbielovesmac Posted March 1, 2008 Author Share Posted March 1, 2008 i want to be alone. i hate putting on the 'nothings wrong' front. i can't do that very well. Link to comment
redrose85 Posted March 1, 2008 Share Posted March 1, 2008 Then don't put on a front. Be honest with others, and with yourself. Do you have a best friend who you can tell anything to? If so, that's what they're for! Link to comment
Hope75 Posted March 1, 2008 Share Posted March 1, 2008 i want to be alone. i hate putting on the 'nothings wrong' front. i can't do that very well. Not being with a boyfriend doesn't mean you are alone. I trust that you have family (mentioned being close with your mom in another thread) and friends who will support you through the breakup, and don't forget us. You are never alone. Link to comment
lana111 Posted March 2, 2008 Share Posted March 2, 2008 id have no problem with it. i mean, im not saying i love the idea of my man spending time with another female, but half the world is female soooooo ya know. i also have a lot of trust so that helps. Link to comment
HeartBrokenAgain Posted March 2, 2008 Share Posted March 2, 2008 Well if he is going "running" with someone who he says is a friend and he has cheated on you with them then I would not tolerate it. I would not deal with it. If he was with her and had the tempation before what goes to say he has changed and wont have that same tempation again? He should respect your feelings of not wanting him to go running with her after all that happened..I dont think any girl, unless they didnt care, would allow that or be okay with it. Link to comment
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