Height and dominant vs submissive

[watupgangsta]

I think you'll be fine. I don't think most women make this assumption. And if you are rated 9.1 on hot or not then you'll likely have many options (even tho i disagree with those kind of sites but anyhoo)!

 

lol i agree with you, i was just having a self-conscious day a few weeks ago and i was looking for an ego boost... what can i say.. weak but i'll admit it at least lol. thanks for your insight.

[hollyandmike]

I am a tall girl of 5ft 10", my boyfriend is shorter than me and shorter than the average guy, he is about 5 ft 8". He is NOT submissive at all lol.

 

I like dominant (but just and fair) guys, manly men lol, yet all my life I have found myself ttracted to guys on the shorter side of average. Not tiny, but guys who are my height, slightly smaller, or slightly taller - so our eyes are roughly at the same level, give or take an inch. In general every guy I have liked has been slightly shorter than me and shorter than the average guy. And I like dominant guys. And I am a tall woman. I have never once felt attracted to a tall guy. I don't know why that is. I love being tall myself its my favourite physical feature in myself, I always get noticed and plenty of compliments because of my height - yet somehow I dont find the same feature attractive in guys.

 

Different strokes for different folks.

 

And btw - being tall doesnt mean you had good nutrition and environment as a child, I didnt have either of those things growing up and I was always underweight, i still grew tall though.

 

Also studies prove time and time again that people DO make judgments about people based on height, especially towards men, taller people on average earn more, and are viewed as being more successfull, among other things. However, I've not read anything about the submissive/dominance thing before, I think people quickly learn whether you are more assertive or more submissive simply through your behaviours and don't judge it based on your physical appearance.

[watupgangsta]

It's really sad when people feel comfortable generalizing about short men - i.e. the napoleon complex - because obviously if they made the same generalizations about Black or Asian people they'd be called "racist." Somehow it's considered acceptable to make such ignorant comments about shorter men.

 

batya... i agree with you too. when i was younger i got into a lot of fights (usually won too btw hehe) and I would often be told that i had short guy complex... when really i think i was just hot headed and competitive.

[hollyandmike]

It's really sad when people feel comfortable generalizing about short men - i.e. the napoleon complex - because obviously if they made the same generalizations about Black or Asian people they'd be called "racist." Somehow it's considered acceptable to make such ignorant comments about shorter men.

 

I agree - its ridiculous anyway, short men are cute!

[Batya33]

I agree - its ridiculous anyway, short men are cute!

 

Some short men are cute just like some tall or medium sized men are cute. I prefer not to generalize since I am short and I hate the presumption that I am "cute" based on being short.

[xika5]

To the OP, at 19 more than likely you are still growing no? You might grow about another inch, who knows. I know males stop growing later in life than females do, in general. But still at 5' 6'', you are still not that short. That's a good height. I don't know about the dominance/short thing though, if I had a preferance for shorter or taller men it's not because I think they are more dominant or less.

[watupgangsta]

I am also short 5'3 and yes most girls do like tall guys. Do you have a gf? And do you go on dates?

 

 

hey dude... i agree with you but don't worry man i have a friend who is 5'3 and he gets tons of girls they love him so don't worry... no girlfriend at the moment and no i don't really go on dates, i usually just hang out with girls i meet through friends or in class and stuff... i dunno i like to get to know girls before i think about them romantically.

[itsallgrand]

Along the unfair bias' of height, thinking about it more, I think my tendency is to believe taller men are more submissive if anything.

 

Obviously this is silly, and a generalization, but I just thought I'd mention it as it is the exact opposite of what you were assuming.

[hollyandmike]

Some short men are cute just like some tall or medium sized men are cute. I prefer not to generalize since I am short and I hate the presumption that I am "cute" based on being short.

 

where are the cute tall guys? Lol i havent found any cute before hence my track record with short guys, but thats just me, i know plenty of girls love tall guys.

 

You're right though being short alone doesnt make one cute, if a guy has a lousy personality or a face that somehow repels me then no i'm not going to find him cute, but eh, if he has a good personality and nice face then yeah "cute" will be the word which springs to mind always for me, as oppossed to any other word. But I like cute, I dont like classicly handsome guys i like more quirky, "cute" guys. And shorter stature is a quality i definitely find "cute" - sorry.

[Batya33]

That's fine - you're entitled to your opinion hollyandmike. It puts us short people at a disadvantage of not being taken seriously enough at times - based on height we are "cute" which is not exactly consistent with respect, intelligence, professionalism in certain situations. Many shorter women wear high heels if they are in the corporate world for just this reason.

 

I will say I am always happy to hear women (not you) dismissing short men as "cute" and thereforeee not attractive in a masculine way - since I am generally more attracted to shorter men, all else being equal, it means more options for me when I need them!

[agent1607307371]

I'm dominant. I mean properly.

 

I have preference towards men who are shall we say, excessively tall and have a bit of chunk on them.

 

I'm 5' 2".

[hollyandmike]

That's fine - you're entitled to your opinion hollyandmike. It puts us short people at a disadvantage of not being taken seriously enough at times - based on height we are "cute" which is not exactly consistent with respect, intelligence, professionalism in certain situations. Many shorter women wear high heels if they are in the corporate world for just this reason.

 

I will say I am always happy to hear women (not you) dismissing short men as "cute" and thereforeee not attractive in a masculine way - since I am generally more attracted to shorter men, all else being equal, it means more options for me when I need them!

 

Yes you are right about the disadvantage of not being taken seriously, as i pointed out in my first post, its proven people make snap judgmenets about each other based on superficial things like height, and yes tall people are viewed generally as more successfull and everything that goes with that. Unfair? Yeah but what are you gonna do? Im blonde and have to put up with judgements that are made towards me based on the ridiculous notion that blonde women are not smart.

 

Im confused though as to how cute = not attractive in a masculine way? My (short) boyfriend is cute and he's in my eyes the most masculine, attractive guy I've ever known.

[Unmotivated]

I believe that for a guy, being short can reduce your initial attractiveness, however this can easily be counteracted by strength of character and personality, as well as with good looks.

 

So to answer the question, no, I don't believe a short guy should try to be submissive. I disagree with many of the other posters views that it is not a male dominant / female submissive world today, at least in the sense that men are initiating and women are receptive. Whether through instinct or through culture, men are still expected to take the lead in many scenarios, and the guys who are concerned about equality are often dismissed as being too passive.

[Batya33]

Most men I know who are not willing to ask a woman out on a first date don't refuse out of concerns about "equality" but simply because they are not willing to put in the effort to ask a woman out and/or they are not that interested in the woman to put in that effort.

[watupgangsta]

agent... nice avatar... i didn't know van gogh was a fan of bat man.

[watupgangsta]

Most men I know who are not willing to ask a woman out on a first date don't refuse out of concerns about "equality" but simply because they are not willing to put in the effort to ask a woman out and/or they are not that interested in the woman to put in that effort.

 

yes... that or lacking in self confidence, but i don't think guys ever think "hey... i shouldn't have to ask girls out. they should to come to me." thats just being a dreamer...

[musicguy]

There are a lot of these short guy threads on here quite a bit. I'm 5'5, I'm a short guy and I don't care that I'm short. Short genes run in the family and that's not gonna change. If a girl doesn't like me because I'm a short guy, then maybe she's not worth it. It shouldn't matter what height a person is as long as you are happy with that person right? I think that society expects too much of people and physical appearance. You have to be this tall, this skinny, this strong, etc. When none of that should really matter. Sure, physical attraction is where it starts, but in the end, that's not what makes a relationship last cuz everything goes downhill from there

[watupgangsta]

i agree with you musicguy... (music for life dude. i seen some of your poetry you should try writing some songs or something) ... but to get on track... this thread wasn't originally intended to be another "short guy issues" thread... i think its funny how quickly it naturally turned to that. anyway i was really just wondering about if there was a link between a guy's height and what women expected them to be like personality-wise.

[Batya33]

I think you're confusing physical attraction with looks. Some people base physical attraction on some ideal they have as far as particular features/qualities and others simply look for someone they feel chemistry with - attraction for - and it doesn't matter what in particular he looks like or she looks like.

 

I think physical attraction of some degree is essential for a romantic relationship. In general there are certain physical attributes or choices that are generally turn offs - obesity, poor hygiene, poor grooming, etc but other than that I don't think "looks" should be the focus - as opposed to "attraction."

[Unmotivated]

Most men I know who are not willing to ask a woman out on a first date don't refuse out of concerns about "equality" but simply because they are not willing to put in the effort to ask a woman out and/or they are not that interested in the woman to put in that effort.

 

How is this not a concern of equality? If the genders where equal in the dating game, the male would not have to put in such effort because the burden of initiating would be 50/50, shared by both individuals. I believe this is fundamentally the mentality of a shy guy. He is frustrated at having to take the lead and he places a high value on the female's desires and opinions, trying to make sure she gets a fair say in any decision and going to great lengths to meet her needs.

 

It's a trap that shy guys fall into and it isn't really equality at all, but maybe that's what they hope to achieve. They see nice girls with "jerks" who seem to be treating them poorly and they think the answer is that they must treat women as equals. But equality is just a dream. The genders will always have fundamental differences that will influence how love and dating work. There are always exceptions, but in the grand scheme of things I think it is best to understand the psychology involved and be able to work within the system of how the average man and women interact.

[Batya33]

I meant that they do not avoid asking out a woman because of some political belief in "equality." My previous post explains this. Sorry if it was not clear.

 

And, I don't agree that just because a man does more of the asking out in the beginning that there is inequality - the woman also puts in effort even if it's not the asking out on a date.

 

I am all for women being able to ask men out but at least in my experience and in the experience of the hundreds of women I have known and know (and that is a conservative estimate), it is not effective for a woman to do more of the asking out in the beginning if she is looking for a serious relationship that is happy/stable. A man might be flattered by being asked out or relieved in some way at not having to do "the work" of asking a lady out on a date, but she likely won't be the lady he chooses to get seriously involved with if she does more of the asking out in the beginning.

 

I asked men out - would have done it far more if it had been an effective way to get more than a date or two.

 

Asking out for a first date - probably not much of a difference but as I've posted many times I think a shy person should put in the effort to overcome his shyness so that he can ask the lady out on the first date - i don't think that's too much to ask. If he is that shy that despite strong interest in the woman he can't muster up the courage (which isn't much to muster up, having been there, done that) to ask a woman out who is showing interest in him on a first date I would have doubts about his ability to be in a serious relationship at that time of his life.

 

Shyness can be worked on, decreased and even overcome - I've been there and I know this. Certainly it can be decreased enough to get the ball rolling "would you like to grab lunch with me sometime?"

 

And this is particularly true if the man is sincerely interested in dating the lady - I've seen that countless times including with personal experience.

[just M.E.]

I am on the long side of 5'6" and previously always been attracted to 6'+ guys, although I wasn't absolute with that, had 2 LTR with guys about 5'8". I recently went out with a guy who is 5'5" and he is TOTALLY out of all my previous "criteria" in what I was attracted to in a man. I have a real, good old fashioned crush on this guy.

 

I don't think dominant and submissive is a good terminology to use in relationships unless you are someone who thrives on imbalance. Relationships are give and take, never 50-50 but a floating give and take between two people. When they are wrong or not healthy, they settle into some uneven percentage and one partner gets the short end of the deal.

[HellFrost666]

i was really just wondering about if there was a link between a guy's height and what women expected them to be like personality-wise.

 

I know I may get flamed for this... But I think there is a link. Even though it's not true. We can't stop people from stereotyping.

 

I was actually really surprised at some of the replies this thread got early on.

[Batya33]

I know I may get flamed for this... But I think there is a link. Even though it's not true. We can't stop people from stereotyping.

 

I was actually really surprised at some of the replies this thread got early on.

 

We can't but not all of us do. I don't.

[Unmotivated]

I meant that they do not avoid asking out a woman because of some political belief in "equality." My previous post explains this. Sorry if it was not clear.

Indeed it wasn't clear that you were talking about a political belief. I agree with you in regards to that sense of equality.