The dust has settled but...

[Mustang]

I STILL want my ex back.

 

Looking back at how I was towards the end of "us" I totally understand why she ended things. I was paranoid, insecure and not a very nice person to be around.

 

In a way, my ex did me a favour. I was putting so much of my life on hold for her and the step back has really helped me work everything out. I'm really enjoying life at the moment.

 

I've gone through every emotion with my ex. Love, hate, anger, fear, obsession, denial, etc and have come out the other side and I think of her now as a really lovely girl that I genuinely care about regardless of who we're with now or in the future.

 

After finding out she had a boyfriend via a friend on Facebook, I wished her well and backed away. My ex never confirmed whether or not she had a boyfriend but it's none of my business. I went NC for three weeks.

 

We've been texting in the past week or so and it just feels so much more comfortable now than it ever did. When we were texting after the split, I always had a hidden agenda.

 

I haven't seen my ex since we broke up at the start of November and I do really miss her. I would love to see her again because she was a best friend as well as a girlfriend. BUT, the difficult thing is that as we don't see each other, trying to organise a meeting just won't work. It'll make me sound like I'm trying to win her back. I have accepted that we're no longer together. That said, I have dated a lot of girls in the past month or two and none of them come close to my ex. At all. One night stands are so hollow and I feel guilty for agreeing to dates with girls now knowing that I know that if my ex was to come running back I would probably get back with her.

 

Obviously, any attempt by me to arrange meeting up will freak her out. Especially as she is seeing someone else. I'm not sure how serious it is but seeing as she's still texting me, it makes me wonder.

 

It's really hard to explain where I'm at. I don't cry and shake at the thought of her with someone else anymore. I really want her to be happy and I hope she is. But I would still love to hang out with her again now everything's clearer in my head.

 

How can I suggest meeting up/hanging out in a way that doesn't sound like I'm asking her out in an attempt to win her back? I miss her so much as a person. Or maybe I am trying to convince myself...

 

Does that make any sense?

[nic2463]

I wouldnt bother mate,shes hooked up with someone else and if you meet up are you happy to hear all the grim details.NO.Women make it clear that they are interested in getting back with exs so until you get a clear indication i wouldnt bother unless you want more heartache.

[Crazyaboutdogs]

I agree with Nic. She is with someone else now...it has to be up to her to suggest getting together. I would say she moves pretty quickly....a brand new boyfriend when you have only been broken up about 3 months. Do I hear rebound!

[Phoenix05]

Its hard but you have to let her go, keeping in contact is prolonging the pain.

 

I understand she was your friend and sometimes thats the hardest part to let go, you must try and fill the void she has left.

[Mustang]

That's the best thing to do I suppose.

 

It's pretty pointless going NC now mind you. I can deal with the situation as it is. OK, it's not what I want, but I am grown up enough to accept that it's over. Speaking to her isn't prolonging the pain.

 

I don't know if it's just wishful thinking but I can sense it's a rebound. But you guys are right. There's nothing I can say or do. It's all up to her.

[heyyou]

I wouldnt bother mate,shes hooked up with someone else and if you meet up are you happy to hear all the grim details.NO.Women make it clear that they are interested in getting back with exs so until you get a clear indication i wouldnt bother unless you want more heartache.

 

I would tend to disagree with you here. From my experience my ex said she was interested but it never panned out. There are two different girls out there, ones to spark a reaction and ones who truly mean it. Had an ex say it twice to me and got me nowhere except confused. Thats in the past though.