Delusional Kisses Posted January 28, 2008 Share Posted January 28, 2008 How does one change from say "friendship" to a "relationship"? I know this may sound like a silly question, but being as how I have never been in a relationship before (I know...I'm 30!), I'm just not sure if there is supposed to be some sort of conversation about being committed to one another or if it is just something that is implied. How do I even know if he considers us being "together"? Link to comment
melrich Posted January 28, 2008 Share Posted January 28, 2008 Good question. I'm just not sure if there is supposed to be some sort of conversation about being committed to one another or if it is just something that is implied. Sometimes it is discussed, sometimes it is implied. Either way I think you will know. Link to comment
wayoverit Posted January 28, 2008 Share Posted January 28, 2008 A real gentleman will never leave a lady wondering. He should have the decency to ask you out to a dinner, chat, then confess his undying love for you with something like.. "Will you be my girlfriend, (insert name)?" Link to comment
shikashika Posted January 28, 2008 Share Posted January 28, 2008 A real gentleman will never leave a lady wondering. He should have the decency to ask you out to a dinner, chat, then confess his undying love for you with something like.. "Will you be my girlfriend, (insert name)?" ha ha! nobody would ever say "Will you be my girlfriend!"... unless its for an audition for Cinderella... or if the couple is 11 year ols! i think you can figure it out most of the time... or just ask about the relationship status...but NEVER "will you be my girlfriend/ boyfriend?" Link to comment
Kantriakhor Posted January 28, 2008 Share Posted January 28, 2008 I asked mine is she'd like to have a relationship with me after telling her my feelings. Link to comment
wayoverit Posted January 28, 2008 Share Posted January 28, 2008 I asked mine "would you like to be my girlfriend." And later, "would you marry me?" It's just being honest from the get-go. Link to comment
ilovepoemsalot Posted January 28, 2008 Share Posted January 28, 2008 A relationship usually just naturally happens from a friendship or dating. Think about how a friendship develops naturally on it's own from first talking to someone, it's just like that. When it happens you'll know. Link to comment
knightNshiningarmor Posted January 29, 2008 Share Posted January 29, 2008 i think once you kiss the other person that kinda is the cement that defines if it your still unsure up to that point. but i know your feeling sometimes its hard to figure out what is friend chemistry and what is relationship chemistry Link to comment
Batya33 Posted January 29, 2008 Share Posted January 29, 2008 In my experience where it started as a friendship there was a transition from friendship to dating (he would ask me out on a real date, we might kiss or be affectionate) but then another talk about being exclusive. Link to comment
CaptainPlanet Posted January 29, 2008 Share Posted January 29, 2008 Sometimes discussed sometimes implied. Link to comment
mollco Posted January 29, 2008 Share Posted January 29, 2008 A discussion needs to take place. You can't know if he is dating other people and he can't know if you are if you don't talk about it. If you want to be exclusive you need to have a talk to make sure you are both on the same page. Link to comment
Delusional Kisses Posted January 29, 2008 Author Share Posted January 29, 2008 Thank you all for your insight on this. I certainly don't want to assume anything. We have been best friends for a long time now. We started out dating (sorta), became best friends and now have become intimate again. He does act different around me now, but I still assume I am in the "friend zone", but he uses "we" and "us" alot and has recently mentioned taking me home to meet his parents (600 miles away and he hasn't seen them in almost 2 years). Link to comment
ghost69 Posted January 29, 2008 Share Posted January 29, 2008 Sometimes discussed sometimes implied. yep. i've done both. the girl usually knows when i introduce her as my gf. Link to comment
Batya33 Posted January 29, 2008 Share Posted January 29, 2008 In my experience if a man is serious about you he will want to make sure you are not keeping your options open and will ask you to be exclusive with him. Link to comment
ghost69 Posted January 29, 2008 Share Posted January 29, 2008 In my experience if a man is serious about you he will want to make sure you are not keeping your options open and will ask you to be exclusive with him. why always the man? you know i ask this on a lot of your posts. it always seems to be the man to bring it up. just curious. i rarely would accept a girl bringing it up though. so i think i see your point. Link to comment
Batya33 Posted January 29, 2008 Share Posted January 29, 2008 Because the poster is a female that is one reason I chose "male." In my experiences and those of my women friends usually it is the man who brings it up first. In my personal experiences the two times I had to bring it up (two times in the past 4 years) it was because the man was not interested in being serious with me. In one case I brought it up after two months, in the other case after about one month since he wanted to increase intimacy. I told him that we didn't have to be exclusive but that we wouldn't go there without exclusivity. I think it's fine if the woman brings it up depending on the timing and context -just like it would matter with a man bringing it up. Link to comment
Delusional Kisses Posted January 29, 2008 Author Share Posted January 29, 2008 He did jokingly ask if he could see my phone to count how many "other guys" were in the address book just the other day. If I want to bring it up...how should I? Link to comment
ghost69 Posted January 29, 2008 Share Posted January 29, 2008 He did jokingly ask if he could see my phone to count how many "other guys" were in the address book just the other day. If I want to bring it up...how should I? you could ask what you are to him. see how he answers that question. 'so what are we?' or 'so what am i to you?' Link to comment
Batya33 Posted January 29, 2008 Share Posted January 29, 2008 When I brought it up I said "I want you to know that flings are not my style and are not my style with you." that was on the second date. A month later I sat him down and said "if you would like to [go there] that's fine but I am not ok with your seeing other people if that happens. I am fine to wait and fine with you seeing other people until then but if that's not acceptable to you that's fine too - just means we aren't compatible." See - you have to be willing to walk away and show that you are cool with walking away rather than settling. In that first case he agreed to be exclusive and we were until he ended things three months later. I suspect that all along he wasn't that into me or he would have brought it up. With the other guy I brought up his continued on line activity after dating two months and I said " I am fine with waiting until you're ready but I won't be around forever -- and I am concerned that right after we end a date you log back on to the site." He asked me for some more time - that he was almost there -and I gave him a month which I did NOT tell him - that was my internal boundary. After a month I saw a side of him that was a dealbreaker so I ended it. Link to comment
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