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Need technique for uncovering repressed memories


cybercrone
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I am a person with many reasons to feel confident and pleased with my accomplishments, and in many ways, I do. But I have issues of low self-esteem, sometimes amounting to self-hatred, and I was extremely promiscuous until I was 40! I can't find anything in my personal history that explains why I should have such serious issues. I had my share of childhood traumas, and my parents were pretty dismal people, but other people have had traumas and parents much worse than mine and haven't ended up with the extreme issues I have had. Since the promiscuity and self-hatred are classic symptoms of childhood sexual abuse, I have wondered about it, altho I don't remember anything of that nature. However, I have a couple of periods of amnesia in my childhood. I am thinking these issues might be easier to conquer if I had some understanding of where they come from. Anyone got suggestions about freeing up repressed memory without being in danger of creating the now-famous "false memory" syndrome?

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Well I dont know the answer to your question, but I wanted to let you know that you are not alone, I too would like to have more info on this subject due to the fact that I believe I may have some repressed trauma.

 

I was unduly rebellious and promiscous until recently, also I have some other symptoms that I never realized were symptoms until some research, such as the fact that I am HORRIBLE with names, which is a symptom many people exhibit, several other things as well.

 

Good luck with this, I hope someone comes up with a good answer.

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MollyElise...Interesting that you mention rebelliousness, because that was certainly a strong trait in my childhood, altho I didn't express it as directly as a boy would. I've had a LOT of trouble tolerating mistreatment all my life, and ended up working for myself because at a certain point I could no longer endure workplace "abuse", and have sometimes been fired for intractability (altho that isn't what I was told of course). For example, singing to amuse myself at a killingly boring factory assembly job, finding a box to sit on at another place where we were expected to stand up (not even walking around) for 8 hours to collate papers. I consider rebelliousness a reasonable response to an unjust world, however, and marvel at what people put up with in order to hold a job.

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  • 3 weeks later...

Cybercrone,

 

I would also like to get more information.

 

I have vague memories of being sexually abused by a family member, but my memories seem surreal. Sometimes I think I'm just making it up, but where did it come from?

 

Growing up, I was not rebellious or promiscuous. I think I was a normal teen trying to find myself. Not getting into too much trouble. Plus my father was very old fashioned and really didn't allow me to date.

 

His thought was that if I dated, I was going to have sex.

 

Today, I'm an independent person, making it on my own. However, my feelings of inadequecy still hunts me. I drive my boyfriend crazy with my moodswings.

 

I'm currently looking for a thereapist, who can help me unlock my memories so I can get on with my life.

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Over the years I've come to realise I've had many repressed memories on family separation & sexual violation. I found that the best thing to do is to be brave & talk to a therapist.

 

It's a timely process but the therapist will help you uncover the memories slowly. What I found most important is not to feel bad about myself, not to be scared of the memory & remember that it's not my fault.

 

I've just ended a sexual violated relationship half a year ago & found that I'm repressing my emotions. Worst of all, the person is my colleague that I'm still facing daily. That explains why my emotions had been repressed because I'm still scared & avoiding. I'm slowly fighting the anger off with my therapist.

 

Hope you find what you are looking for & good luck.

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thanks for your message. I had many years of therapy a long time ago, but gave it up after spending many thousands of dollars, because in general have had very bad luck wiht therapists, usually feeling eventually that they are worse off than I am.

 

Also, I have reached an advanced age where I work things out very well on my own. I just want to investigate some techniques to work with.

 

Is changing jobs an option for you? Seems to me to be an unreasonably difficult challenge to stay and function in an environment where you have to deal with your abuser every day.

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Thanks cybercrone for the advise.

 

I've thought of quitting the job ever since. However having lost myself, a friend & got hurt so badly, I don't want to have to lose the job too. Besides, the company pays for counselling for those who need it & saved me hundreds of dollars so far. Quitting the job might put me in a worse situation.

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Is the job that great? Are there other jobs available that are just as good? I'm thinking that maybe if you got away from the daily reminder of the pain, you wouldn't NEED the counseling. Sounds like a very unhealthy situation to me. There have been several occasions in my life where the only thing to do was to let go of everything and start over in a new environment, with a new life. I never looked back. Just think about it. Pretty scary, but change is always scary, and sometimes it isn't as scary as staying stuck.

 

These are just questions and thoughts, not advice. I don't presume to give other people advice!

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  • 1 month later...

Hello Cybercrone,

 

I thought about what you said for a long time. Finally I've decided I'll find a new job. It's been very unhappy at work, certainly my situation won't get me the promotion I wanted. Although it's a great pity to leave a good environment, it's not where I wanna be the rest of my life. I'm going to get out there & find new opportunities 8) .

 

I've just broke up with a colleague-friend who's friendly to the guy & whom the guy was saying he'll go after next. I don't wanna see what they are up to.

 

I think given two people making me miserable, there's no reason to stay.

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It's a brave decision, blackswan! I realize that a lot went into making it, and it wasn't easy, and it took a while to process everything you had to process to get to a place where you knew it was the right thing to do. I suspect you are right to sever another relationship that kept you connected to an unhealthy rut. Starting over is scary, but it's also exciting! My respect for your courage and support for your decision are beaming your way.

 

CyberCrone

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