Madoc Posted January 15, 2008 Share Posted January 15, 2008 Would anyone recomend dating someone older if they haven't dated once before? What are the expectations here? The advice for a relationship I have been getting by most women for the last couple of days is for someone like me to date someone alittle older than me. I do like women that are alittle older though and I think it could be a potential diaster getting myself into this sitation simply because I wouldn't know what to do I don't know the know how's of relationships or dating so I don't know how one would react. I do concider myself more mature than most kids my age, I grow up around people who where typically older than me and have learned alot from the older crowd about waiting until marriage for sex and such its really helped me out but it seems that my current Gen is full of ignorance in my opinion, all most girls my age want to do is go out and party and thats totally not for me although theres maybe a handfull that are really hardcore at an early age I rarely come accross them. I want someone whos got a sense of dirrection in life and doesn't want to party all day long. Even if she has a high paying carrer I don't feel intimated by that like most men I know, if anything thats a challenge for me to become a better person. Ladies I could use your opinions the most, how would you feel if you where dating a guy that was not only younger than you are but is I guess I total virgin? never kissed?, never dated, never did any drugs no nothing. How would you except his inexperiance? would it be a bad thing or a good thing? Do I have the right state of mind for this?. Would anyone recomend dating someone older if they haven't dated once before for their first relationship? What are the expectations here? Link to comment
Catatonic Posted January 15, 2008 Share Posted January 15, 2008 hi madoc, i'm actually in the same boat so i'm interested in this as well. it's still very early on but one thing i noticed is that i'm not as comfortable with some things (mainly intimacy) than he is. Link to comment
Crazyaboutdogs Posted January 15, 2008 Share Posted January 15, 2008 Dating someone should be about being with someone you connect with...not simply trying to find someone older just so you can get someone who will teach you. If you met the right person, then your inexperience would not make a difference at all. I would suggest you wait until you find someone you connect with rather than finding just anyone just to get experience. People shouldn't treat love and relationships like they are going on a job hunt. Link to comment
Madoc Posted January 15, 2008 Author Share Posted January 15, 2008 Dating someone should be about being with someone you connect with...not simply trying to find someone older just so you can get someone who will teach you. If you met the right person, then your inexperience would not make a difference at all. I would suggest you wait until you find someone you connect with rather than finding just anyone just to get experience. People shouldn't treat love and relationships like they are going on a job hunt. I agree. But I always had a tough time with even thinking about dating because of how inexperianced iam just tell her iam still a virgin I think would totally suck. But from your point of view its looking promising. Link to comment
BeStrongBeHappy Posted January 16, 2008 Share Posted January 16, 2008 Look for the person, not the age! If you click with a person, i think they will want to be with you regardless... as long as the age gap is not huge, it doesn't present a problem because everyone is looking for something different and may not worry about the same things you are worried about (i.e., inexperience is not a problem for them). Link to comment
Madoc Posted January 17, 2008 Author Share Posted January 17, 2008 Look for the person, not the age! If you click with a person, i think they will want to be with you regardless... as long as the age gap is not huge, it doesn't present a problem because everyone is looking for something different and may not worry about the same things you are worried about (i.e., inexperience is not a problem for them). Well I always believed my first love would be slightly older than me but hey iam totally cool with that I wouldn't mind dating someone who is in her 30's I just perfer women who are more mature than the one's who are so inmature you know. But iam defnately interested in someone older than me atleast. The problem I have is how would I go about like telling her that she is like the first G/F or the first of everything? Kiss, G/F, sex all of that stuff and would she except me for who iam cause I wouldn't really know what iam doing unless its an unwrittin rule where she teaches you all of that but what do I know anways?. Link to comment
RedSoxFan84 Posted January 17, 2008 Share Posted January 17, 2008 My SO and I have a 13 year age gap. He is my first boyfriend. We've been together for about a year and a half. I had some issues with the gap in the beginning, afraid that I wouldn't be able to compare to any of his previous relationships due to my inexperience. But, he really embraced the fact that he was my first...everything. I found it worked the best this way. He told me up front that he wasn't playing games with me, that he was ready to settle down and be serious. He's definitely more mature than the guys my age, at least from my experience. Of course, it really depends on the person, but that's my experience. Link to comment
Appleseed Posted January 17, 2008 Share Posted January 17, 2008 I agree that every person is very different. You may find that older women work better with your personality, but you may also find some younger girls that are have the same mindset as you. As far as successful first relationships with an age gap go.... Well, I'm currently 7 months into my first relationships and my boyfriend is 9 years older than me. He was my first kiss and first everything else. I don't think he was too concerned about the inexperience, though I know he did worry quite a bit about hurting me. For us, it came down to having a conversation explaining that no, just because we had sex does not mean I'm head over heels in love. That calmed him down, as he was worried that I had fallen to fast (hence us having sex), when really I just felt "ready." As a woman, I might be a little nervous about dating a man that was very inexperienced. For one, I'd be nervous that once he got a taste of that experience, he'd want to go out and explore a little more. However, this was not the case with me so I wouldn't be too worried. My main concern would be similar to my boyfriend's: I'd be scared to break his heart. I'd be quite nervous that, since he hadn't had relationship and break up experience before, I'd end up crushing him. As I, and other posters, have said, I think it really depends on the person. I just tried to articulate some of the problems or fears that I've come accross or could imagine feeling. Link to comment
Madoc Posted January 18, 2008 Author Share Posted January 18, 2008 Thats great stuff from the last two posts even though its the other way around it sounds promising One of my fears were if a girl is alittle older than me chances are she would have been in prevous relationships before me and her expectations would be higher than normal and for me being so inexperianced in this field I would always run into failure but maybe thats not the case. All the girls I fancy now are older than me by a couple years or so BTW. I just sort of wish I could find the girl who is just as inexperianced as me. Link to comment
CandyKins Posted January 19, 2008 Share Posted January 19, 2008 Age is just a number. You can put two people in the same room and notice one is a lot more mature then the other. I don't care what age that person is of whom I date. Why would I want to throw away a strong and loving relationship all because of the age? I think of dating as a casual thing, nothing serious. thereforeeee enter the "dating world" which I presume your gen is into. Consider what your elders say, the ones with wisdom of course and don't let society corrupt your mind. Link to comment
Madoc Posted January 19, 2008 Author Share Posted January 19, 2008 Age is just a number. You can put two people in the same room and notice one is a lot more mature then the other. I don't care what age that person is of whom I date. Why would I want to throw away a strong and loving relationship all because of the age? I think of dating as a casual thing, nothing serious. thereforeeee enter the "dating world" which I presume your gen is into. Consider what your elders say, the ones with wisdom of course and don't let society corrupt your mind. I don't think the term "Dating" even exsist anymore in my gen because alot of people who aren't married are focused on friends with benfits now adays trying to get laid. If it does id be suprized though I have only known a handfull of people who date now the rest they are focused on sex. Me on the other hand id perfer to build a relationship first along before anything intmate begins. Link to comment
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