Time really does help...

[need2bme]

Do I still miss her? Yes.

Do I still hear her; smell her? Yes.

Would I take her back? Probably.

 

...but, I am understanding that we MAY not have been the right person for each other. There are always extenuating circumstances surrounding everything. Will you get along with their kids? Will she be able to work through a relationship so soon? Does her family like you? ....and so on....

 

So, those things come in TIME too. All the realizations about a relationship working when you are in it OR why it didn't work, when you are out of it, take TIME.

 

I still love her and that may or may not fade in time. I do know that being able to step away from the situation is allowing me to understand what happened; what I need to work on and what I don't. It has also helped me to understand that she had a part in this.

 

It really isn't about blame, but moreso it is about understanding.

 

I want to email her or text her, but time has proven to me that this is not the best course of action. Time has taught me that she DESERVES what she wants. My pushing what I want on her is only selfish behaviour.

 

I know that the more time passes, if I work at it, the better person I will be. At my age, the ONLY thing I want now is to be a good person. So, this is what this relationship and time is teaching me.

 

As I wrote earlier; I still miss her, not just the good times, but her. I know that if we were supposed to be together, we would be. Time will teach me how to be strong...time will be here long after I am gone...

[-BK-]

need2bme, it sounds like you are making some good strides in the healing process. We've talked quite a bit over the last 2 months and this is one of the most healthy posts you've had. I think it's awesome!

 

Would I take her back? Probably.

We just need to work on this part now...

[need2bme]

Would I take her back? Probably.

We just need to work on this part now...

 

Dude, you are way too funny...but I do know you were being serious.

 

I look at it like this...if 2 people were to decide to try again, it isn't necessarily a bad thing, it just means that they would REALLY need to talk to figure out what the heck happened and both would have to be ready to really try.

 

I also think that just because people break up, does not mean they weren't right for each other AT ALL, it simply means that they weren't right together, RIGHT NOW.

 

I don't hold out hope to get back together or string myself along, rather I am acknowledging the fact that I still care for her and that is ok. I don't have to NOT love her to be ok or to heal OR to become a better man.

 

In fact, it was the way she loved me and the friends I have made from all of this and yes, the TIME away, that has allowed me the understanding that you can love someone and not be with them.

 

Thanks again BK, you really have helped me more than ya know.

[-BK-]

I look at it like this...if 2 people were to decide to try again, it isn't necessarily a bad thing, it just means that they would REALLY need to talk to figure out what the heck happened and both would have to be ready to really try.

 

I actually agree. There are cases of people separating and even divorcing only to have the 2nd go around be even better. That being said, divorce rates for 2nd marriages are higher than 1st. What does that mean? It means too many people don't do what you said in the second part of this statement -- figure out what happened and fix it!

 

At this point of my healing process, I don't think I could be back with my ex. If that changes at any point in the future, there would have to be a lot of talking about why it didn't work out from her side. I wasn't ready to quit... but she was. She'd have to gain back a lot of trust from me. I really don't know if it could work. I actually don't even think about it.

[Little Blue Ant]

I agree with you, completely. People break up for different reasons, its not always black and white. I believe its that kind of understanding that is better chanced to reconcile, just don't hold your breath

 

If things do come back around, take it slowly. Remember, you don't want to jump back into the old relationship as much as you want to start something new.

 

Good luck!