redhotchilipepper Posted December 31, 2007 Share Posted December 31, 2007 So to keep things as short as possible...I was dating my GF for 3 years. We broke up for a few months and then we talked things out and decided to try once more. She just got back from vacation in the Dominican for 2 weeks and I noticed she put a ton of pictures up on her facebook account which shows her getting a little too friendly with people she met there. For example shes grinding with some guy and sitting on another guys lap and they just look really odd to me. Now I dont know whether or not I should say anything about it...I feel like is these are some of the pictures they took who the hell knows what could have happened off camera. Am I just over analyzing things? I dont know what to think. It might just be fun they had while drinking and nothing crazy could have happened but I hate looking at those pictures. It bothers me for some reason. I know that if I showed her a picture of me grinding a girl she would get upset too. Link to comment
southerngirl Posted December 31, 2007 Share Posted December 31, 2007 Was this vacation while you were broken up? Link to comment
Kiwi_Sweet Posted December 31, 2007 Share Posted December 31, 2007 I wouldn't sweat it. Those guys live out of town, and it's not like she's going to be getting serious with any of them. They were probably just drunken fun pictures...If she knew that they were a threat to your relationship, then I'm sure she would've put them up for you NOT to see. Link to comment
JadedStar Posted December 31, 2007 Share Posted December 31, 2007 At a minimum it's kind of rude for her to put them on myspace now that you two are back together....a guy sitting on her lap? Even if it happened during a break up she doens't have to advertise it now. Some people just really flabbergast me with regards to the things they think are ok to do... Link to comment
redhotchilipepper Posted December 31, 2007 Author Share Posted December 31, 2007 At a minimum it's kind of rude for her to put them on myspace now that you two are back together....a guy sitting on her lap? Even if it happened during a break up she doens't have to advertise it now. Some people just really flabbergast me with regards to the things they think are ok to do... Actually she was sitting on a guys lap and she was wearing really short skirts. I dont know it just bothers me int he pit of my stomach but at the same time I feel like Im being a little * * * * * about it. Im trying to decide whether or not its even worth it. BTW we were dating again when she was away on vacation. It just irks me because I know if I did that she would get pissed. Link to comment
RealBrookeI Posted December 31, 2007 Share Posted December 31, 2007 Actually she was sitting on a guys lap and she was wearing really short skirts. I dont know it just bothers me int he pit of my stomach but at the same time I feel like Im being a little * * * * * about it. Im trying to decide whether or not its even worth it. BTW we were dating again when she was away on vacation. It just irks me because I know if I did that she would get pissed. Why do you think she would get pissed if you did it and what did you two break up over the first time? Link to comment
CatsMeeoow Posted December 31, 2007 Share Posted December 31, 2007 Well - can you discuss it with her in a nice tone and just tell her how it makes you feel? Don't raise your voice or get argumentative... just firmly state that it bothers you to see those types of pics on her myspace page now that she is seeing you again. First off - she may be trying to get a reaction out of you... she may just want to see if you notice and care enough to get bothered... afterall you are just starting to get back together again. Second - she is not (nor is anyone) a mind reader... don't just assume she knows your pissed because you are stewing under the collar... letting things buildup like that and you'll be broken up again for sure. You just simply need to have a conversation with her about it. Good Luck! Link to comment
Crazyaboutdogs Posted December 31, 2007 Share Posted December 31, 2007 At a minimum it's kind of rude for her to put them on myspace now that you two are back together....a guy sitting on her lap? Even if it happened during a break up she doens't have to advertise it now. Some people just really flabbergast me with regards to the things they think are ok to do... Yeah, I am with you on this. It seems they had actually started dating again before she went on vacation so not only do those pictures show that she is rather cheap and tawdry, her actions are also inappropriate for a person who is involved with someone. Link to comment
Considerate Empath Posted December 31, 2007 Share Posted December 31, 2007 Ask about it if it's bugging you. If you know she did it while you two were dating, and she's showing the picture around then you have every right to ask her and be upset about it. It's possible though that she didn't really thought about it as flirting with that guy while she was doing it, and just thought it'd be fun or something (if it's not a relative or something) - so don't loose your temper before you've even confronted her if that's what you decide to do, or she'll just use the "what, don't you trust me now?"-card. //C.E. Link to comment
JadedStar Posted December 31, 2007 Share Posted December 31, 2007 Actually she was sitting on a guys lap and she was wearing really short skirts. I dont know it just bothers me int he pit of my stomach but at the same time I feel like Im being a little * * * * * about it. Im trying to decide whether or not its even worth it. BTW we were dating again when she was away on vacation. It just irks me because I know if I did that she would get pissed. This was a vacation when you were TOGETHER? Yeah i'd talk to her about it real quick. I wouldn't even dream of doing such a thing. And since i am older and don't want anyone to think maybe i'm a prude i can tell you that my daughter is 22 and wouldn't dare post something like this on her myspace...you know why? Because she wuoldn't be in a short skirt sitting on some other guys lap! Link to comment
rjm0827 Posted December 31, 2007 Share Posted December 31, 2007 It all depends honestly. Yea it's kinda odd she would do something like that when yall are together but look at it for what it's worth. She is sitting on someones lap. She isn't kissing anyone or anything like that. Just tell her you found it odd and tell her how you feel. Some people will say it's totally unacceptable and some will say it's no big deal. Some people are more insecure than others and freak out at the sight of their significant other showing anyone else attention. Some people have very trustworthy relationships and something like this is simply what it is, a picture taken on a friends lap. Don't let you imagination run wild with "what if". Link to comment
redhotchilipepper Posted December 31, 2007 Author Share Posted December 31, 2007 This was a vacation when you were TOGETHER? Yeah i'd talk to her about it real quick. I wouldn't even dream of doing such a thing. And since i am older and don't want anyone to think maybe i'm a prude i can tell you that my daughter is 22 and wouldn't dare post something like this on her myspace...you know why? Because she wuoldn't be in a short skirt sitting on some other guys lap! Well this is one picture among many others...you be the judge image removed Link to comment
redhotchilipepper Posted December 31, 2007 Author Share Posted December 31, 2007 It all depends honestly. Yea it's kinda odd she would do something like that when yall are together but look at it for what it's worth. She is sitting on someones lap. She isn't kissing anyone or anything like that. Just tell her you found it odd and tell her how you feel. Some people will say it's totally unacceptable and some will say it's no big deal. Some people are more insecure than others and freak out at the sight of their significant other showing anyone else attention. Some people have very trustworthy relationships and something like this is simply what it is, a picture taken on a friends lap. Don't let you imagination run wild with "what if". I totally agree with what you say here...I did talk to her about it and she doesnt seem to think its a big deal. She told me she was really drunk. Even though I asked her to put herself in my shoes she said she wouldnt mind which is a load of BS. It pisses me off because I would never and have never done this even if I had the oppurtunitt because I think its wrong but hey thats just me. Link to comment
J_man Posted December 31, 2007 Share Posted December 31, 2007 uh... can't say i'd be happy about a pic like that. jeez Link to comment
redhotchilipepper Posted December 31, 2007 Author Share Posted December 31, 2007 uh... can't say i'd be happy about a pic like that. jeez Thats not the only one...in another one shes bending over dancing and a guy has his hand on her ass. Am I crazy or is that just wrong. Link to comment
J_man Posted December 31, 2007 Share Posted December 31, 2007 you're not crazy. as for how to deal with the situation, i don't think i have any good advice for you. anyone with some experience with something like this? Link to comment
rjm0827 Posted December 31, 2007 Share Posted December 31, 2007 Ok, so after seeing this pic I need to comment again. That is wrong. She may have been drunk and not have had bad intentions but I totally see why you would be upset. I would be. You know her well so you are the best judge on this situation. If you trust her and she says she meant nothing then trust her. But I would make it very apparent I wouldn't want her to do anything like that again. Pics with friends can be a lot less touchy, feely. Link to comment
RealBrookeI Posted December 31, 2007 Share Posted December 31, 2007 I totally agree with what you say here...I did talk to her about it and she doesnt seem to think its a big deal. She told me she was really drunk. Even though I asked her to put herself in my shoes she said she wouldnt mind which is a load of BS. It pisses me off because I would never and have never done this even if I had the oppurtunitt because I think its wrong but hey thats just me. 2 weeks of drunkeness in the Dominican with people she just met and probablly wont run into again, she wouldnt tell you if she did do anything (if she even remembers) so you might as well let it go or break up with her. Link to comment
redhotchilipepper Posted December 31, 2007 Author Share Posted December 31, 2007 2 weeks of drunkeness in the Dominican with people she just met and probablly wont run into again, she wouldnt tell you if she did do anything (if she even remembers) so you might as well let it go or break up with her. Yeah I just broke it off with her...I told her she is too unpredictable and the fact that she doesnt see anything wrong with that just makes the decision easier on my part. Whats to stop her from doing that again and maybe next time it will have gone too far...I for one dont want to be in that situation if I can avoid if before hand. I think Im doing the right thing... BTW we broke it off in the past because she met other guys that she thought she liked only to come back to me after and I took her back because I really like her alot but sometimes you gotta let go for your own sake. Link to comment
rjm0827 Posted December 31, 2007 Share Posted December 31, 2007 I wanted to say you should do that but I hate to be Mr. Negative. Glad you did this though. Especially knowing what she has done in the past. My guess is something else happened on that trip that you wouldn't aprove of. You don't deserve that mess. Link to comment
RealBrookeI Posted December 31, 2007 Share Posted December 31, 2007 Yeah I just broke it off with her...I told her she is too unpredictable and the fact that she doesnt see anything wrong with that just makes the decision easier on my part. Whats to stop her from doing that again and maybe next time it will have gone too far...I for one dont want to be in that situation if I can avoid if before hand. I think Im doing the right thing... BTW we broke it off in the past because she met other guys that she thought she liked only to come back to me after and I took her back because I really like her alot but sometimes you gotta let go for your own sake. Now, it is just a matter of staying broken up as if you were weak enough to take her back after she left you for another guy I highly doubt if she really believes you will continue to stay broken up with her over this especially when she has not admited to doing anything wrong. (By the way it is irrelevant if she did or not as unless you locate that guy in the picture it is her word fvs your imagination which should know that 2 weeks + drunkeness + male friends whom she just met = random sex which she may or may not remember) Link to comment
redhotchilipepper Posted December 31, 2007 Author Share Posted December 31, 2007 Now, it is just a matter of staying broken up as if you were weak enough to take her back after she left you for another guy I highly doubt if she really believes you will continue to stay broken up with her over this especially when she has not admited to doing anything wrong. (By the way it is irrelevant if she did or not as unless you locate that guy in the picture it is her word fvs your imagination which should know that 2 weeks + drunkeness + male friends whom she just met = random sex which she may or may not remember) OUCH...even reading that makes my heart hurt...ya it could be a big possibility...my mind is wandering in so many directions right now. The funny thing is she doesnt really have a problem with me breaking up with her...it doesnt seem as if she is fighting for our relationship which is another strong indication to me that she doesnt care enough to stay with me. Bleh Link to comment
RealBrookeI Posted December 31, 2007 Share Posted December 31, 2007 The funny thing is she doesnt really have a problem with me breaking up with her...it doesnt seem as if she is fighting for our relationship which is another strong indication to me that she doesnt care enough to stay with me. She doesnt have a problem with it because she knows that she can get you back at the drop of a hat. What are her plans for New Years Eve? Your breaking up with her just gives her another opportunity to go out and have some fun with some random guy she meets while drinking at a bar or club only this time she doesnt have to pretend that he was just a friend. What was she doing in the Dominican for two weeks? Pleasure, work, or something else Link to comment
redhotchilipepper Posted December 31, 2007 Author Share Posted December 31, 2007 She doesnt have a problem with it because she knows that she can get you back at the drop of a hat. What are her plans for New Years Eve? Your breaking up with her just gives her another opportunity to go out and have some fun with some random guy she meets while drinking at a bar or club only this time she doesnt have to pretend that he was just a friend. What was she doing in the Dominican for two weeks? Pleasure, work, or something else She works at a club on weekends for some extra money patting women down as they enter. She has to work tomorrow on NYE rather than spending it with me. I even bought 2 tickets to an event as a surprise for us but she told me she didnt like the club so Im going with a friend now. Link to comment
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