Why Men Love *******

[BronzedSkin123]

I heard about this book from another forum where the women were raving about it. Even on amazon from the few pages I read it has gotten excellent reviews. It basically gives women principles on how to get what they want when it comes to men and relationships. I just ordered it off of amazon. When I get it I'll read it and give an update on whether I think it's useful or not. This book might help me out a bit. Instead of waddling in self pity I am going to take action and get me a man the right way of course.

 

Here's a link

 

link removed

 

Maybe some of the other single women on this forum might want to check it out.

[Cimmie]

Sounds like an inflammatory and eye-catching title for a study in why maintaining boundaries in relationships is healthy. That's not really rocket science. The title sounds like a marketing ploy.

 

But I haven't read it - maybe it contains some original pearls of wisdom which could benefit us all...

[BronzedSkin123]

Well, I'd thought I'd give it a try. Anything is better than wasting away my 20s being single, love-less and without romance.

[annie24]

i have it. it's not a bad book. nothing earth shattering in it though. basically about being a 'babe in total control of herself.' ie, don't act like you are his wife, and he is your husband until you have gotten married. don't be a doormat is a pretty huge theme in the book. ie, have your own life, don't bend to his every whim, earn your own money, etc......

[Cimmie]

I agree. Hey, I'll try anything. I'm all for knowledge!

 

Maybe you could post back and recommend if it's good, Bronzedskin!

[Crazyaboutdogs]

I just looked at the link. I take issue with what people term as the "nice girl" vs "the * * * * * ".

Nice girl is denoting "doormat" while "the * * * * * " gives the impression of selfishness and lack of empathy and compassion. Of course she uses the term ' * * * * * ' in order to sell the book. The reality is that you can still be a "nice girl" meaning warm, caring compassionate while still be independent and not playing games but simply having your own life. You don't have to be a " * * * * * ". I have also seen plenty of women get their man by being a doormat (of course it is a dysfunctional, co-dependent relationship).

[poloplayer]

All I saw was the title, and I will go out on a limb and speculate that it isn't too different why women, rather girls, love bad boys.

 

I loved bi*(&(% for a long time, but I eventually grew out of it. I chased hot tail for a little more than a decade, but am losing interest in that, and by chased I'm talking about chasing after to pound, not to genuinely date, get to know, spend time with, etc.

 

Am I gay now? No. I've gotten all of the 'I need hot,' 'I need bi*(&,' 'I want to pound on that...,' etc., out of my system, and am slowing down, which means that I am now fully capable of holding a steady, long term relationship with ONE female. Still like hot of course, but it's not the prerequisite (or main criteria) that it used to be; it's about having an actual relationship with someone. To have someone to date - like go out on actual dates!

 

But before? Forget it. Only way it was possible was if you were hot, love to party, can call me out on things at times, and knew what will rile me up; which buttons to push, then that was when she had me interest. The interest wasn't really in her as a person, who is she, what she likes and doesn't like, etc., but more like 'what is it about this girl? I'm drawn to her, but I can't figure it out - and the things that I would do to that booty.'

 

No different than a girls attraction to a bad boy, just change some details around.

 

I still can and do get the 'what is it about this girl? I'm drawn to her, but I can't figure it out,' but rolling with just those feelings don't build and sustain an actual relationship with someone.

[Timebandit]

Sounds like the "nice guys vs. jerks" debate - just for women. Somehow I don't see that as progress....

[annie24]

just to be clear, the book isn't about being a mean woman, it's about not being a doormat. kind of the same thing, most women don't like, "bad boys", we just like men with a strong sense of self and with a backbone. i think the title is misleading.

 

this book is really aimed for the "too nice girl." the one that tries to keep her "man" of 3 dates by baking them cookies made with exotic spices, cleaning their house, paying their bills, using her sexuality, etc..... generally bending over backwards in a way that is not attractive. not unlike the guy that shows up to a first date with 4 dozen red roses.

[Blue Dreamer]

Sounds like an interesting read. Hope it works out for you Bronzed.

[musicguy]

To get a man you just have to be yourself

[Konfetkette]

I have it. It's really good. It's certainly not about being a b.....

[Jayar]

It's a great read, and I agree with Annie's assessment. I have the book, as well as "Why Men MARRY B!TCHE$" and it's good too. Easy read, and I recommend them more than The Rules books because they're a bit more modern.

[Crazyaboutdogs]

just to be clear, the book isn't about being a mean woman, it's about not being a doormat. kind of the same thing, most women don't like, "bad boys", we just like men with a strong sense of self and with a backbone. i think the title is misleading.

 

this book is really aimed for the "too nice girl." the one that tries to keep her "man" of 3 dates by baking them cookies made with exotic spices, cleaning their house, paying their bills, using her sexuality, etc..... generally bending over backwards in a way that is not attractive. not unlike the guy that shows up to a first date with 4 dozen red roses.

 

I knew a woman exactly like that...she is married now with a child. She is one of the "too nice girl, doormat" that got her man. Mind you, I had met him when they started dating and I think he was rather self-involved and cold while she was fawning all over him.

[annie24]

i hope they are having a good marriage!

[Miss Firecracker]

I knew a woman exactly like that...she is married now with a child. She is one of the "too nice girl, doormat" that got her man. Mind you, I had met him when they started dating and I think he was rather self-involved and cold while she was fawning all over him.

 

That sounds like me when I dated my husband.

[annie24]

do you think you have changed since, or are still the same... maybe the book is wrong then?

[Miss Firecracker]

I don't even resemble that girl anymore. When you marry someone in these circumstances you develop quite a *****y attitude over the years.

[annie24]

resentful that he is not giving back what you were putting in?

[AngryHeart]

I've heard about this book, read an articule about it. From what I have read Annie is right, it's not about being mean, it's just about not being a door mat and they basicaly used the B word to draw attention to it, I think. Anyway, hope it helps you out

[Konfetkette]

The advice on that book actually worked for me.

Too bad he was a jerk.

No actually it's good, 'cause I can get a better guy now while "holding my own"

[pinkelephant]

i have it, i really like it. it makes me happy.

[Miss Firecracker]

resentful that he is not giving back what you were putting in?

 

Resentful for so many things I could write a book. You learn to live with it though. It doesn't matter anymore. And I have more fish to fry now.

[cant find my smile]

I've heard about this book, read an articule about it. From what I have read Annie is right, it's not about being mean, it's just about not being a door mat

 

 

I was the classic door mat with my ex, which made no sense because I am a strong, intelligent, independent, beautiful and fun woman. I have so much to offer and included in that is a very generous spirit and a desire to make others happy. This applies to everyone in my life and not just my ex.

 

When talking about this problem of me coming accross as a door mat with him, my friend said to me that you can only be a doormat if there is someone there to walk on you. As in, if both people in the relationship are thoughtful, giving, generous people, then neither is a doormat. If one person in the relationship is selfish and takes advantage of the other's generosity and kind spirit, that nice girl loses and seems like she has no self-respect.

 

I don't want to stop being generous and thoughtful...and that shouldn't thereforeeee mean that I am a doormat with no self-respect.

[50stang]

I know I'm a little late to this party but my X-GF read this book and I read a few chapters in the book as well.

 

Actually, come to think of it, my x-GF met the author and got a autographed copy. Anyway, in my opinion this book basically gave my X-GF the grounds to be * * * * * y and argumentative with me. I was a good man to my GF but I didnt feel that I should haft to put up with the extra drama so I left her because of it. My GF took that book to the heart.

 

Dont get me wrong, I dont blame the book for what happen to my relationship because my GF was already head strong but the advice that the book gives does not apply to all men. The books application (I feel) is for girls who are dating "bad Boys" or high powerd men who juggle different women on the side.