How do I approach this girl?

[RedPenguin]

Well there is this cute librarian at my one campus and I'm going to talk to her on Monday and just be like hey.

 

I figured, I would ask her how students get to work in the library, because I've seen her and students working in the library as librarians and/or behind the desk.

 

So far, it looks good. We've smiled at each other a couple times and she is extremely nice, because I know when my friend asked her a question in the library. She's so cute and fine and actually nice for once LoL.

 

How should I push in an invite somewhere? I don't wanna just be like, "Hey you're cute, let's go to my place." LoL.

[kevinm]

Dude... she's at work and does customer service. It's her job to be nice to you. That aside, anything to get her talking is a good thing. Introduce yourself, remember her name, ask her her major, ask her to a campus group function, etc, etc.

[CamaroJoe]

I would go there a few times to build a little comfort and report with her. Flirt with her a little at first and then increase it with each visit. But don't ask her out unless you can tell she's into you. If you ask her out without knowing this, it can be kind of sudden and awkward for her. Just watch her body language and listen to her voice tone as she speaks to you. Keep it light, fun, and flirty...maybe a little sexuality in your flirting, but NO advances or indicators that you are talking about you two having sex. I'd say see her and talk to her as a librarian to a fun, flirty guy like three times before asking her out, especially since she's at work.

[Leonhart]

Go right up to her, "Hi, I'm Adam." Smile. Let her introduce herself. Compliment her on her clothes or something. Smile and flirt with her. Say something funny and amusing. Be playful and tease her a bit. Then ask her either if you can get her number so you can go give her a call to go out sometime or ask her out right then and there.

 

If she is interested and available, she'll accept. If not, then you'll know and can move on. If she gives you her number, touch her lightly before you leave. If not, don't bother.

 

And personally, your direct approach you mentioned would probably work better than trying to sneak in under the guise of "friends" and get screwed over in the long run by being friendzoned right from the get go.

[RedPenguin]

That's what I figured, it didn't seem right or logical to ask her out the second I see her.

 

I know she's gotta be nice to be a librarian, but she is extremely nice, more than anyone I've ever seen. That's what I meant.

 

We have many librarians that can easily get smart and rude or are nice but you can tell just nice for the job, she's like totally the opposite.

[Leonhart]

How do you know his name is Adam?

 

I assume all men are named Adam, like the first man who lived.

[Sweet Buttabean Jellayroll]

It's kind of her job to be nice.

 

as far as asking her out? maybe when shes not at work, maybe you catch her on her way too work

[ghost69]

start a rapport with her. ask about the job. introduce yourself. stop in again a couple days later and say hi. she will know. keep talking to her, but don't ask too much about her job after a couple times.

[Sweet Buttabean Jellayroll]

tell her you have a hot spicy boner and are looking for the xxx magazines

 

then start making hissing/sizzling noizes and say "whiptish"

 

then introduce yourself, and say you were just playing.

 

hell you said she was nice, so she'll understand

 

g'luck

[RedPenguin]

tell her you have a hot spicy boner and are looking for the xxx magazines

 

then start making hissing/sizzling noizes and say "whiptish"

 

then introduce yourself, and say you were just playing.

 

hell you said she was nice, so she'll understand

 

g'luck

 

Where did you come up with this?

 

Usually you come up with good but against me answers. I mean against me because of how I act often in the opposite way, not approaching girls.

 

But even I would not have thought of this LoL. Well defiantly wouldn't have said it anyway.

[SuperSport]

Where did you come up with this?

 

Usually you come up with good but against me answers. I mean against me because of how I act often in the opposite way, not approaching girls.

 

But even I would not have thought of this LoL. Well defiantly wouldn't have said it anyway.

 

I think its funny you believe him. But you could try it and see what happens. I don't think you'll get very far...

[RedPenguin]

No I don't believe him. I just thought it was odd he said something like that.

 

He usually is more of a say it like it is without swearing or that kinda answer. LoL.

[RedPenguin]

Does this sound like an ok conversation.

 

I'm not trying to plan it like a military operation, just trying to make myself a little less nervous.

 

I just figured, I would start out with a normal question, like, if the library has documentary videos, since I do like those kinds of videos.

 

Then I figured, I would ask her about if students can work in the library or if it's only internships.

 

Then I figured I would ask her if she likes her job in the library, then I would say, my name is Adam and may I know your name.

 

Then I figured for a compliment, I could say, I know I will remember that name, I can't forget the name of such a pretty girl.

 

I know I plan too much, but I'm trying to get my nervousness to go away or at least to where it doesn't bother me.

[JeckyllNHyde]

Yea, that line is ok, a bit blah, but a good way to let her know your flirting.

 

I gotta ask, why don't you just "be yourself"????????? Like spur of the moment vs. planned convo's/scenario's.

 

I know I sound like a broken record, but your always planning days ahead how your gonna aproach and whome, where, etc. How many times have tings gone as planned?

From life experience, or whatever it's called, I can predict it's not gonna go the way your planning, or it may all come off planned to the librarian.

 

Just go to the library, etc when you know she will be there and strike up a convo, and yea ask her about the students working there thing, and put in that line you thought of, but after that your on your own to think up of ways to continue the convo. It's all just gotta flow. Just treat her as anyone else, but include a tad bit of flirtiness.

[RedPenguin]

Yeah you are right, I just get so darn nervous.

 

I was going to make a joke and be like:

 

"It was funny when I first saw you in here. I was like boy the librarian got way prettier." LoL.

 

But I don't think I could slip it in making sense.

 

I will figure out a cute joke to compliment here, I know it. HeHe.

[JeckyllNHyde]

Yea why not, those are funny/cheesy flirty lines but I personally love em.

I'm sure she will find em funny too.

But why put so much energy into it before hand? That's sorta my point. Keep busy with other stuff and then approach her tomorrow. The more you think about it, the more nervous you get.

And then to top it all off: what if she isn't interested? Then you just spent like hours/maybe days thinking about how your gonna aproach for nothing.

 

It's just not a good healthy approach unless it's someone you have a majorrrrr crush on for ages, and you think you "love" them. Then I don't blame someone for putting a whole lot of energy into it, YET, it's still silly to do.

Just on the whole, putting so much energy/thoughts is very unadvisable.

 

Another thing is, that if you're nervous it shows. If you put little thought into it, and just aproach very casually and spur of the moment, it looks way cooler. And you look more put together.

[RedPenguin]

Yeah you are right.

 

I just never actually approached a girl like this before.

 

Also, I never had a girl before that looks like she may actually give me a real chance.

 

I mean, I know she's a librarian and she's gotta basically be nice for her job, but in my gut, I swear she's nice all the time and I love how we smile at each other in the hallway.

 

I know smiling doesn't mean she's in love with me and adores me, but to me it at least shows friendliness and she isn't thinking, "oh my gosh, how ugly he is, I can do much better then him" or something like that, LoL.

[JeckyllNHyde]

....but to me it at least shows friendliness and she isn't thinking, "oh my gosh, how ugly he is, I can do much better then him" or something like that, LoL.

 

Actually, it doesn't mean she isn't thinking that either.

Not to put a damper or anything. But smiling is being friendly yes. But doesn't mean she finds you attractive per se. It's her job to be friendly (I think) as it is at any job. But that doesn't mean you don't approach her. I say GOOO for it. And THEN se how the whole vibe is, and how she responds to your flirty jokes, etc. THEN maybe you can start planning a little how you will "bump" into her more often etc.

[RedPenguin]

Yeah that's true. I guess I never thought of that.

 

I guess I thought that since every girl that turned me down never smiled at me basically.

 

I'm just the person that things like talking to someone, especially a girl, just will not leave my mind, no matter how hard I try.

 

Hopefully I can forget it until tomorrow.

[RedPenguin]

Does nervousness cause your brain to feel funny and you to get all sore?

 

I can't describe it completely, but I'm curious if I'm nervous or something else is going on.

 

Basically when I'm nervous and worried about something, I feel like I can't sit still and it's like my brain is going through a million things at once and it feels like blood or something is really pumping in my head. This also seems to happen when I'm scared of something also.

 

Is it adrenaline that makes your brain feel like it's not relaxed or something?

 

I noticed after I'm done being nervous, scared, or worried, I often have a slight headache.

[ghost69]

when you are nervous or scared your brain has millions of things going on in it. causes headaches? yeah, it can.

 

so you are scared to make a move with the librarian?

[RedPenguin]

Somewhat, but I'm trying to get rid of my nervousness.

 

Well basically, I'm a little annoyed.

 

I went to the library to talk to her about something, anything.

 

The library was completely full and the other librarian was helping someone, and this one was talking to someone else, it was a complete mess.

 

Then I came back later, talked to her and the other librarian and she smiled at me twice, then she got on the phone, and I was like darn it.

 

Then I figured, I gotta just come back after she's done with the phone, since almost everyone left the library.

 

Then she for some reason leaves.

 

Now I will probably not see her again until next Monday.

 

ghost69 and others, I was actually set to talk to her, but I never expected the library to be full, the phone going off, and her leaving. Man did today suck, other then me at least getting to smile at her and her see that I'm a nice guy.

 

EDIT: Forget that, she came back! LoL.

 

Well I went back and checked out a book, to get some small talk in. Then I said, I really like her glasses. I was very nice and first asked her first how you check out a book. Then she said nicely what you have to do.

 

Then I made some jokes, because the computer was acting slow, by saying I'm in to computers and they still give me problems, she laughed.

 

Then I said, "May I ask your name?" And she said Jordan, so I was like, I don't hear that name very often, I like it, and was talking about that TV show, Crossing Jordan."

 

I then told her thank you, and told her to have a good one (good one). She said you too or something to that nature.

 

It was not as hard as I thought and it actually felt great. She was not really flirty or anything like that, even though I was pretty much dropping hints here and there.

 

She didn't like it seemed when I called her a librarian by mistake, when she's actually a clerk. She told me then a librarian has a degree but a clerk doesn't.

 

I'm happy that I asked her for her name, cause I like knowing that, and I think that leaves her a big hint, that hey, something's going on, he wanted to know my name. But who knows on that one.

[ghost69]

wait, you are on ENA at school? like in the library right now? sorry, i just noticed you said she came back. get off the computer and go talk to her. and minimize this so nobody types up something for you. lol

[RedPenguin]

No I was on it in the classroom and went over to the library during a break that I had. I had to come back for my wallet with my student ID to check out a book, so I said she came back.

 

LoL.

[ghost69]

bro, congratulations. you at least made contact. now you need to go back and be like 'hey, i was gonna walk over to the coffee shop over here, want to join me?' all you gotta do. if she says she is busy working or can't take a break, say 'well, maybe i can call you sometime and take you out for a coffee.' go for the digits. she will know your interest or maybe even offer up her number.