flower99 Posted November 6, 2007 Share Posted November 6, 2007 I found out last week I'm 5-6 weeks pregnant. My husband & I are happy about this. he said he has known I was pregnant for weeks, he just had a feeling. So yesterday I brought up how we haven’t' had sex in awhile (must be approx 3 weeks) I understand he was sick for about a week there, so I didn't think too much of it. I've tried before & after he was sick, but he doesn't seem interested, doesn't get into it, i feel like I'm forcing myself on him. So i brought it up yesterday casually jokingly how it's been awhile, in a conversation. He responded by telling me it's because I'm carrying his baby in there & points to my stomach. I said "what? so you're not going to sleep with me for the next 9 months because I'm carrying your child?? " He said, "It's just too weird, I don’t' think I can" I told him the baby can't feel it...ect....he says it doesn't matter, he knows the baby is right there. I feel so undesired, ugly, chubby, unwanted by my own husband. 9 months? really? My last child was with my ex when I was much younger, he had no problem sleeping with me during the pregnancy, however after watching me give birth he found the vagina to be disgusting. Now I feel like my husband doesn’t want me now & may not after either….. I know my emotions are taking a toll on me right now, but I just feeling like crying, I feel so...detached & alone now. I know sex isn't everything it never has been in our relationship but it is a big intimate part of our relationship. I feel undesired & unattractive. How do I handle this? Have other gone through this? Link to comment
CandyKins Posted November 6, 2007 Share Posted November 6, 2007 Maybe he thinks that having sex while pregnant might cause the baby harm. Best to consult a doctor for his advice if it's safe to have sex while pregnant. Link to comment
flower99 Posted November 6, 2007 Author Share Posted November 6, 2007 Maybe he thinks that having sex while pregnant might cause the baby harm. Best to consult a doctor for his advice if it's safe to have sex while pregnant. we have many books on it, and they all say it's totally safe. he knows it won't harm the baby, I think it's a mental thing...he knows the baby is 'right' there. so that's what he thinks about. Seafarer: as far as other sex. I've given him but he hasn't returned it. He hasn't been interested in that, It's like all of my 'downstairs' is just about the baby & no longer me. I'm no longer a sexual being to him Link to comment
Supa_gurl Posted November 6, 2007 Share Posted November 6, 2007 you are only 5-6 weeks. Give him a little time to let things sink in. Next Doctor's appointment you go to, have him with you when you ask the Doctor about sex during pregnancy so he can hear it from a physician. Even though it may be a mental thing for him, maybe hearing from a physician will help. good luck Link to comment
KG Posted November 7, 2007 Share Posted November 7, 2007 It's a mental thing for guys...one minute it's what yer hitting,next it's carrying your child. let the Dr. tell him it's OK... KG Link to comment
Tethys Posted November 7, 2007 Share Posted November 7, 2007 In addition to the doctor telling him, you might also do something to get his mind off the baby in "there" and view you as a sexual being again. A fancy dinner out in a dress that makes you look awesome and desirable? I don't know -- I'm not very good at coming up with these kinds of ideas, but maybe you are. Link to comment
southerngirl Posted November 7, 2007 Share Posted November 7, 2007 Oh! Congratulations on your pregnancy! That is great news! The others have given good suggestions, I hope that he snaps out of it, 9 months is a long time to go without any action ... How about just strait out telling him that you have needs and you demand his man meat. Seriously, it worked for my husband when i was expecting>... He seemed just fine doing 'it' when i was pregnant with our now almost 3 year old..... but when I was pregnant with the youngest, he seemed to hesitate. He said it was because it was a girl in there. Go figure, seemed weird to me. We did do 'it' but not nearly as much as I wanted and now its back to normal again. Link to comment
havefaith Posted November 7, 2007 Share Posted November 7, 2007 Not to make light of your situation, but have you seen Knocked Up? There is this whole scene during which the guy is really struggling with having sex with the girl because she is pregnant. He says he can't stop thinking about his d-ick hitting the baby's head. Kind of funny your husband is essentially feeling the same way! I'm sure this makes you feel very unwanted, totally understandable. I would encourage you to remember this seems to me like it's a lot less about his lack of attraction for you and much more about the fact that he is worried about your baby's safety. If he isn't comfortable, I agree with the poster above who said there are other forms of sex. Get creative. It might seem irrational that this whole thing bothers him, but you might just have to respect his weird feeling about it. Good luck and congrats on the baby! Link to comment
flower99 Posted November 7, 2007 Author Share Posted November 7, 2007 thank you everyone, I really appreciate all your advice. He's coming to my next doctors appointment next month, maybe that will help. Hopefully he'll come around soon (: Link to comment
flower99 Posted November 22, 2007 Author Share Posted November 22, 2007 Just wanted to let you all know. He got over it...FInally. yeah...we're having sex again & lots of it thank you everyone for listening & helping. Link to comment
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