the new life of bobsiesprincess

[RedBranchKnight]

Tonigh my brother walks in with his ex girlfriend who he split up with round about the same time i got dumped. This kinda stirred up alot of emotions inside me and I thought to myself... its almost been 6 months... text him cos ur strong enough to be friends

 

WRONG! im not. ive been in tears all night. we texted back and forth for a while filling each other in on our lives now. its made me REALLY sad cos i realise i know nothing about him anymore and he knows nothing about me.

 

hes going to be an uncle again. and hes now jobless and dropped out of uni.

at least ive achieved alot more in the past 6 months and have better plans for the next year or so....

 

i miss him soooo much. i wish more than anything things could go back to how they were.

 

 

Hey bobsiesprincess.

 

I was in your position too a while ago. I was in touch with my ex a short while ago thinking it wouldnt do any harm to just see how she was doing and open the lines of communication and so on. I was wrong though, like you I was actually left feeling really down after it because shes done so much and had so much happen and I didnt have a clue about it. She got a new car, new job, booked a holiday... lots of new stuff happening and she never once texted me just to say so or anything, whereas before whenever anything happened shed call and text me before anyone else to say how happy and excited she was. Was a horrible reality check, the fact I really didnt know her much at all anymore. But I think its better to know that, rather than have any lingering doubts in your mind about if you should get in touch or not.

 

Think of how great things will be when youre finished your course and you can get a great job, meet new people, go to new places and make great new memories for yourself! Theres a reason people from our past dont make it into our future, and in the end theyre the ones who will be missing out. Its hard now, but it will get better, and every setback encountered ultimately makes it easier to feel better because the pain or sorrow it causes will fade and leave you a more motivated and stronger person. Sorry, bit of a rant there, but thats what I think of things like that. Good luck!

[bobsiesprincess]

Think of how great things will be when youre finished your course and you can get a great job, meet new people, go to new places and make great new memories for yourself! Theres a reason people from our past dont make it into our future, and in the end theyre the ones who will be missing out. Its hard now, but it will get better, and every setback encountered ultimately makes it easier to feel better because the pain or sorrow it causes will fade and leave you a more motivated and stronger person. Sorry, bit of a rant there, but thats what I think of things like that. Good luck!

 

thanks for the nice reply, sometimes i just need to hear comments like theres a reason people from our past dont make it into your future. Deep down I guess I know its true, but its hard to see it when you dont know what your future holds.

[RedBranchKnight]

thanks for the nice reply, sometimes i just need to hear comments like theres a reason people from our past dont make it into your future. Deep down I guess I know its true, but its hard to see it when you dont know what your future holds.

 

 

No problem. I really like that expression 'theres a reason people from your past dont make it into your future'. I miss my ex being around alot, and wish she was still the same person she used to be months ago, but she isnt; ex's change and become different people (shes literally nearly a stranger to me now shes changed so much the last few months, cant imagine what we'd talk about). Therell be new people though, and maybe in time they can have a place in your life again, even if it isnt now.

 

Youre finishing university this year, right? So am I and I really cant wait. When I started university I had this idea it would be loads of parties, meeting lotsa new people, nights out all the time.... but its really just a bore. Everybodys really cliquey and nobody ever seems to have enough money to head out to town alot. When you graduate and have a job and money of your own youll have way more freedom than now to head out, do new things and so on. Thats something to really look forward to. A fresh start, new surroundings, a whole new chapter in your life.

[bobsiesprincess]

Youre finishing university this year, right? So am I and I really cant wait. When I started university I had this idea it would be loads of parties, meeting lotsa new people, nights out all the time.... but its really just a bore. Everybodys really cliquey and nobody ever seems to have enough money to head out to town alot. When you graduate and have a job and money of your own youll have way more freedom than now to head out, do new things and so on. Thats something to really look forward to. A fresh start, new surroundings, a whole new chapter in your life.

 

thats the same as me........me and my uni friends hardly ever go out anymore cos weve all go so much work and so little cash. totally different from how you imagine the uni experience to be.

unfortunately im still gona be skint when i finish uni cos im off travelling, but itll be an amazing experience and hopefully ill meet lotsa good people. but im also looking forward to getting a job making good money and settling down. an old teacher of mine told me im most likely to meet my future husband at work so fingers crossed!

but yeh, your right its a fresh start. i keep telling myself that June is the beginning of the rest of my life and all this crap will be behind me and over with.

[bobsiesprincess]

I'm a bit fed up with things today. I went out for drinks with this girl from school last night and she informed me that one of my good friends A is pissed off with me because I didnt go to her bfs 21st. The reason I didnt go is because K was going and I didnt want to ruin anyone elses night by either getting angry or upset. Also her bfs brother is the one who was talking crap behind my back about the break up and supporting me to my face. I can't even look at him now.

I honestly didn't think it would bother her. So of course I texted her last night with a big apology and all that and no reply. So I'm feeling a bit low now. I just get a bit sick of people sometimes and the drama that comes with them.

 

*sigh* back to the books i guess

[RedBranchKnight]

thats the same as me........me and my uni friends hardly ever go out anymore cos weve all go so much work and so little cash. totally different from how you imagine the uni experience to be.

unfortunately im still gona be skint when i finish uni cos im off travelling, but itll be an amazing experience and hopefully ill meet lotsa good people. but im also looking forward to getting a job making good money and settling down. an old teacher of mine told me im most likely to meet my future husband at work so fingers crossed!

but yeh, your right its a fresh start. i keep telling myself that June is the beginning of the rest of my life and all this crap will be behind me and over with.

 

Well thats definitely something to look forward to, really a fresh new start for you. Student life is really too constricting and demanding to have a proper social life, whether because of lack of money or lack of time. Itll be worth being skint for a while longer because itll be for a worthwhile experience! Very few people meet life long partners at college or school, just too young at that point and still have so much to experience these days.

 

I'm a bit fed up with things today. I went out for drinks with this girl from school last night and she informed me that one of my good friends A is pissed off with me because I didnt go to her bfs 21st. The reason I didnt go is because K was going and I didnt want to ruin anyone elses night by either getting angry or upset. Also her bfs brother is the one who was talking crap behind my back about the break up and supporting me to my face. I can't even look at him now.

I honestly didn't think it would bother her. So of course I texted her last night with a big apology and all that and no reply. So I'm feeling a bit low now. I just get a bit sick of people sometimes and the drama that comes with them.

 

*sigh* back to the books i guess

 

I hate when people are like that. I have a group project Im doing with 3 guys I thought were 'friends', but just seem to be out to give me grief and cause drama every chance they get. Only thing you can do is hope they know why things happened the way they did and if they are real friends then theyll understand and forgive and forget. Im sure your friend would understand why you didnt want to be there and you were thinking of other peoples interests by doing so. Best of luck!

[bobsiesprincess]

I made a huuuge mistake last night. I wish more than anything I could rewind and do things differently.

 

Basically I got incredibly drunk, met K at a club. Though I was strong enough to talk to him and be happy, broke down in tears immediately, then gave him a piece of my mind about how badly hes treated me and how i wish i never met him for like half an hour. He told me us breaking up is the worst thing thats happened in his whole life and that its been really hard for him. He told me it would be torture being friends with me and that hes not been with anyone else since we split up and hes not planning to for a while. He got really angry at me at points, especially when I said i dont feel like i know him anymore. we were shouting at each other and then crying. It ended on reasonably good terms, we hugged for ages and both said that we wish things had turned out differently and that we still miss each other and care about each other.

 

i was sick twice during the night. i woke up regretting everything thats happened. ive lost the dignity that ive kept for the past 6 months so well. that was all i had left. i texted him to aplogise today and said sorry i had no right to say the things i did, you know i didnt mean it i just lash out when im hurt.

 

I just find seeing him so hard. i go out and have a great time when hes not there. When i see him it just reminds me of how much im not over him, how much i still love him and want to be with him. i mean obviously i couldnt take him back, and he'd probably never want me after last nights performance. but its just my friend G was basically saying to me i might never get over him and he might be the right person for me. but i know it wouldnt happen now because im clearly not good enough for him. but what if i never do get over it and meet someone new?? im so scared.

 

i don't know where to go or what to do from here. i feel so sad. i know ill never meet a guy as good as him. i mean its been 6 months and im still in bits over him. i feel like everyone thinks i should be over this by now.

 

this really lovely girl came up to me in the toilets and i was upset and she was like, oh no a guys done this to you hasnt he.. she was like ur far too pretty to be in here crying over a boy, hes an idiot if he doesnt want you. turns out she found out last week her boyfriend had been cheating on her with her best friend. how much does that suck, losing your boyfriend and best friend in one go. when i was talking to K she came up to him and was like, i just met her tonight but shes lovely and your an idiot. K was just like i know im such an * * * * * * * .

 

in other news, some random guy kept trying to talk to me and tell me i looked like kate nash. lol could be worse i suppose.

 

but yeh, im really done with alcohol. i cannot handle my drink. i always end up spewing, or else just feeling really sick. and i always do something ridiculous and regretting the night. im over it.

[bobsiesprincess]

Hey bobsiesp.

Yea I have been in your shoes with the alcohol episodes.

Maybe you should try going the alcohol free or limited alcohol route.

At first it's gonna be hard to keep a limit but over time trust me you will be much happier not waking up the next morning angry or regretting stuff you said. Or maybe even unable to remember it.

I have tons of stories like this lol. Though I haven't quit alcohol fully I also haven't been in any drunk episodes the last 6 or so months. It feels much better.

 

Don't worry about last night. It happens.

 

i know, i dont even enjoy drinking when im doing it, but i feel like it gives me a wee bit of confidence and makes me loosen up a bit so thats why i do. i just never seem to know when to stop. and when i do try to stop im always like getting rounds with people or in a kitty and i just get pressured to keep going!

 

i dont really enjoy being in a club without drinking, cos if im sober i wont dance..... so i guess i just need to learn to have a few drinks then stop!

 

its so not worth it, i hate the hangovers and that horrible omg what did i do feeling. and im 21, time to grow up, no longer 18!

 

thanks for commenting neways!

[stranded247]

Aww don't worry, we all make really stupid mistakes. In a way I think that its nice to find out that he still misses and cares about you. Sometimes these things can work. I mean its not a good idea to have false hope but maybe its best to try to move on but at least you know that he didn't think nothing of it when he broke up with you and that he misses you and realises what a great thing you were, if he doesn't beg to take you back then what a fool! Honestly dont stress or cringe over it, whats done is done, just keep going. I dont think six months is a long time to be over someone. If you find someone that you really love, it can take a year or so for it not to hurt. I think that sometimes we never get over these things but what happens is that the pain becomes numbed and it no longer hurts, all you eventually feel is indifference and perhaps resentment. Sometimes you are able to completely detach yourself from any past feelings. Its completely subjective of course. But my point is dont feel bad for not being over him because to be honest people dont get over things, the bad things in life are character forming and they are what makes us tougher people but everyone has unhealed wounds and its totally normal. You will find someone, even if its not K, I'm sure he'll be better. Don't give up on love (cliche! I know-but its my philosophy! lol).

[bobsiesprincess]

I think that sometimes we never get over these things but what happens is that the pain becomes numbed and it no longer hurts, all you eventually feel is indifference and perhaps resentment. Sometimes you are able to completely detach yourself from any past feelings.

 

i think this is true. your very wise for such a young age!

 

im trying my best not to give up on love.... but its just hard to have faith now. i guess i know deep down K isn't right for me, because i like to think the right person will never let me go. i suppose i just have to be patient.

[stranded247]

i think this is true. your very wise for such a young age!

 

im trying my best not to give up on love.... but its just hard to have faith now. i guess i know deep down K isn't right for me, because i like to think the right person will never let me go. i suppose i just have to be patient.

 

Thanks, I know its hard to have faith but if you give up your chances of finding love decrease, well I think so because you are not open to the possibility of love. I can see why you feel like that, I always think that the right person will never leave but sometimes things can work and there is no such thing as a perfect relationship. Some people have to try really hard to make things work and if they try hard enough and make compromises I think it can work even if there was drama before. Yeah I always like to believe "good things come to those who wait" lol I've been waiting a long time so I'm hoping that good thing whatever it is will come soon, your right patience is the key.

[bobsiesprincess]

I've been really low since Friday nights escapades. Alot of tears and stuff which I havent been doing even when im sad. I'm back to like it was in the beginning where all i can think about is the happy times....especially holidays, nights out, and fun times we had just sitting in. he really made me so happy...hes amazing.

 

i hope i get over this downer soon. im finding it hard to function. i dont wanna get out of bed, i just want to mope about. ive been forcing myself tho. i went to the flicks with my friend to get out the house even though i was really down. been also making myself study but not been getting much done. my mind is on other things.

 

my yoga teacher came up to me and said " r u with us tonight or are u elsewhere?" and i was like "nah im miles away" n she was like "yeh i could tell, sometimes you just have to live today for today and not worry about tomorrow." then she started going on about how people come in and out of your life for a reason etc.. it was weird, cos she doesnt have a clue about me and K.

 

i had totally got over wanting him back. but im back at that place ill never meet anyone i like more than him. he was perfect for me.

[bobsiesprincess]

my friend just texted me saying shes not sure shes gona make it through this semester without an emotional an/or mental breakdown. lol. its just sooo true. i could never have imagined how hard this year at uni would be. it cannot keep on top of everything. so i think im gonna have to prioritise better. ive neglected my dissertation this week doing stupid feminist reading for a seminar that doesnt count for anything. i mean, am i stupid? *sigh* what a waste of this week. but at the same time all last week was dissertation stuff so i needed a break from it.

sooo from now on....the majority of my time will be spent on dissertation, essays/presentations the next priority, seminars at the bottom of the list. but that will totally catch up on me come exam time. eeeeek.

 

i got so stressed last night i just gave up on my work and went a drive with my friend S. a guy he talks to killed himself 2 nights ago. i didnt know him to talk to, but i used to see him about all the time and im just so shocked. he was a good looking guy, always smiling nd having a laugh, loads of friends, his own place, good job. its just crazy to think about, you would never think someone like him would be so down that he would do that. its really sad, he had so much going for him. just shows you that you dont know what people are dealing with.

 

2day when I started to get stressed I just went out a run. made me feel so much better. its a gorgeous day 2.

[bobsiesprincess]

Words can't explain how shocked and gutted I am right now.

 

I feel weird telling this story....

 

I was nevera big forum person. I only used the internet for talking to my real life friends on msn and uni stuff.

 

When me and K split up I felt like nobody in my life understood my situation, because nobody had been through it. Many of the times when i'd be up late at night I would google things to help me get over the break up. Thats how I came accross ENA. I also came accross another site.... So Youve Been Dumped. The night i made my first post on there it was still very raw and you could tell how upset I was. This boy sent me a pm and said to add him on msn. I was very wary of this as id never added someone i didnt know on msn. However, I was so upset and needed to talk to someone so badly i added him. His name was Chris.

 

We spoke every single day. We struck up a great friendship. He was obviously going through a terrible time with his ex, they were so on and off, and he didnt want to get over her, didnt try to at all. Then his dad died. He had to go to Bulgaria (where his dad lived) himsef to sort everything out. We ended up exchanging mobile numbers and we would text alot. We were there for each other whenever we needed it, any time of the day. He helped me through my hardest days. I felt like he was the only person there for me. We had started to talk about him maybe coming up to visit me, and us just having a fun weekend not thinking about the exes. He even sent me a present before - a few books. I sent him a present too, to cheer him up.

 

He was soooo talented. He was an amazing writer. He played in a band. He was going to Oxford Uni in September. He was about to start modelling. He was the nicest guy ever, he would have made some girl soooo happy one day. He used to say to me that one day we'd both be over it and we'd go to each others weddings.

 

I hadn't heard from him in a few days, so I logged onto facebook today and found out he'd killed himself. I am in shock. I feel like maybe its partly my fault, maybe i could have done something to help him. I feel devastated and alone. I don't feel like I can talk to friends/family about it, cos they might think im weird for being on these types of sights. Its such a waste of life. He was such an amazing person and had so much going for him.

 

i dont know what to do. I want to go down to the funeral. But i also want to just detatch myself from the situation. I have a few others on msn that I met online, I feel like deleting them, just incase i get emotionally involved and something happens to them. I dont know whether to just give up these sights or what. I'm confused.

[stranded247]

Oh I'm so sorry to hear! This is terrible, my condolences, I know how you feel actually I had a simular experience of becoming friendly with someone online who died from a heart condition. I hope that you never experience something as horrible as this again. Poor you, it always seems that the people who have the most going for them are the ones that end up taking their own lives which is what makes it so tragic. It sort of proves that happiness really isn't about assets at all. I've noticed that as people grow up there are always people who are going to leave their lives like this, I just hope that its no one that your too close to, I'm sorry it happened to you. Take care.

[RedBranchKnight]

Im so sorry to hear that Bobsies. Iv been in a similar situation where someone I knew through msn had come close to commiting suicide (but didnt thankfully), so I can only imagine what it felt like to discover that, but I know it mustve been shocking. It really goes to show that you can never be sure whats going on in someones mind and how well people can hide their feelings, and like stranded said It sort of proves that happiness really isn't about assets. Im sorry for his family and sorry you had to deal with that. Look after yourself

[bobsiesprincess]

Oh I'm so sorry to hear! This is terrible, my condolences, I know how you feel actually I had a simular experience of becoming friendly with someone online who died from a heart condition. I hope that you never experience something as horrible as this again. Poor you, it always seems that the people who have the most going for them are the ones that end up taking their own lives which is what makes it so tragic. It sort of proves that happiness really isn't about assets at all. I've noticed that as people grow up there are always people who are going to leave their lives like this, I just hope that its no one that your too close to, I'm sorry it happened to you. Take care.

 

This is probably weird to say and wont sound right but its nice to hear someone has been through something similar and understands this.

 

Im so sorry to hear that Bobsies. Iv been in a similar situation where someone I knew through msn had come close to commiting suicide (but didnt thankfully), so I can only imagine what it felt like to discover that, but I know it mustve been shocking. It really goes to show that you can never be sure whats going on in someones mind and how well people can hide their feelings, and like stranded said It sort of proves that happiness really isn't about assets. Im sorry for his family and sorry you had to deal with that. Look after yourself

 

thanks for commenting RBK, it means alot.

[bobsiesprincess]

So this week, since finding out, has been mega hard.

 

i keep dreaming about him. and i think about him all the time. i have sooo many thoughts going round in my head.

 

i want to know why he didnt call me.... i mean loads of times when he was low he would text me. i would always be there for him.

 

what if i had texted him that night? or if id been on msn? could i have said something to make him feel better and to stop him doing what he did?

 

what was he thinking? what happened in those 2 days I didnt speak to him that made things so bad he couldnt go on?

 

i feel guilt. i feel anger..... how could he do this to everyone who loves him? i feel immense grief. i feel lonliness.... i spoke to him about everything.

 

i feel horrible, cos i know i wont be able to go to the funeral. id need to spend 7 hours on a bus myself to york then get another bus to a random wee town. i cant afford it money wise, id need to stay over in a hotel as well, and i cant afford it time wise with uni. i want to be there, but i just cant. i also know how much it would upset me.

 

his sister emailed me, she saw a comment i left on his facebook...she said she was having the worst day of her life and she saw how lovely my comment was and it cheered her up... that meant so much to me! when she was going through his stuff, she worked out id sent him down some lush stuff and a wee cuddly dog (it was a private joke, im not a pure weirdo!) and shes gona post it up to me. thatll be nice to have something that makes me still feel close to him.

 

i just have so many unanswered questions. i miss him so much.

[bobsiesprincess]

ive been thinking really random things recently....

 

i met this girl i used to best friends with mum 2day. like it turned out she wasnt a nice person..... but i really miss the closeness of the friendship we had. we went together- there was never one of us without the other. we spoke like every night on the phone, spent all weekend together, practically lives at each others houses, always out having a laugh. it was intense, but i miss having that one best friend. the one you can talk to about anything and you always know youll have someone to do something with.

 

then there was me and my 2 guy friends. we were a close wee threesome and we'd go out every weekend and get drunk, and during the week we'd go a drive or to the cinema or whatever. i miss that too, now they have gfs and stuff and its just not the same.

 

im closer to G than anyone else, but she has a few other best mates and stuff, and im not top of the priority list. our trip to Manchester brought us closer like we used to be, and im hoping things go back to how they once were with us. she invited me to Mama Mia with her family, so im hoping she'll start to think of me like she used to.

 

man im so sad... i realise this... but i either want a best friend, or a big group of mates who are up for going out every weekend for a laugh. how could i lose all this?? its my own fault for putting K and uni and work top of my priority list, then not much time for much else. Lesson well and truly learned, never again!

[RedBranchKnight]

man im so sad... i realise this... but i either want a best friend, or a big group of mates who are up for going out every weekend for a laugh. how could i lose all this?? its my own fault for putting K and uni and work top of my priority list, then not much time for much else. Lesson well and truly learned, never again!

 

I found myself in that exact same position after my ex and I broke up the first time. Id spent all of my time constantly getting buses to meet her, spending weekends at her house or just hanging with her, skipping lectures to go see her, spending all my money on nights out and stuff with her and so on that I actually rarely saw my friends. So when she broke up with me I suddenly realised how distant Id become from my friends; anytime I texted them or rang them they seemed surprised to hear from me, and whenever I did head out with them it was always a case that Id text one of them asking if there were any plans and theyd all already be out having drinks. Id be welcome to join, but only because I rang while they were there, I was never invited out with the group.

 

Youll get past it though, takes persistance, effort and patience but youll rebuild the bridges with your old friends and make new friends too (if I can then anyone can!). Its awkward and even a bit demoralizing at the start (well, for me it was), but its worth it! Very hard lesson to learn, but its very useful too, never put all your eggs in one basket so to speak. Good luck

[bobsiesprincess]

I'm getting so excited about finishing uni and doing Camp America.

 

Ideally, I would love to get placed in a brother/sister camp in Southern California. This is kind of unrealistic, cos you take what you are given, and im sure I'll enjoy it wherever i am, but that would be my perfect placement. I think I'd feel more comfortable being around a majority of girls day to day, but the brother part of the camp would mean there are guys at get togethers and stuff. Sounds perfect to me!

 

I'm trying to keep an open mind about the travelling bit, cos no doubt ill meet people at camp who I wanna travel with... but I really wanna go to the LA area. Ive been all over America but never to Cali. I'll be flying home from NY so ill spend my last week or so there, ive been before and its the most amazing city. G is talking about flying out to meet me in NY so we can go shopping and see a musical and so on, that would be amazing! Oh and I need to do the Sex in the City tour - when I went to NY I was with my parents and they so werent up for that!

 

I'm also looking into some Spanish work programmes. Originally I was gonna do it myself, just move out there for a year and get bar work or something. But im getting kind of anxious about starting to look for a proper job and stuff, so i think ill go with one of these companies for a few months. Then if i really am loving it I can stay.

 

ooo excitement, life begins soon!

 

i found out today K has a 2nd interview for a job, so he might be moving away to Edinburgh. I don't know how I feel about that. Maybe kind of happy for him that hes getting stuff together? Sad that hes moving away and thats the end of us for sure? Relieved that hes going and I wont need to see him? Although, knowing him he'll be back every weekend anyway.... oh i dunno

 

i went up to see one of my old teachers yesterday for a bit of advise because im having real trouble focusing on studying recently. The more stressed Im getting, and the more work I have to do, the less I seem to actually do stuff. Its ridiculous, I feel like I have no self control anymore when it comes to studying, like ive ran out of steam. I can see the end, its so close, but im overwhelmed with the amount of work I have to do before then.

 

we also had an interesting discussion about spirits. ive always believed in spirits, and I went to a medium once and she apparently communicated with my granda, it was so scary, because the things she were saying were so specific that no-one could just be guessing it. but since Chris died ive been obsessing about what happened when you die. my old teacher, his great grandmother was the most famous phsycic in the country apprently. he really has alot of interesting things to say.

[bobsiesprincess]

yeh I can already see the bridges being rebuilt with a few people which is good, but its hard work!

 

just hoping when unis done ill meet lots more new people and make great new friends. i think thats what i need.

[bobsiesprincess]

I have my law ball at the end of this month. Its kind of like my graduation ball. Its on the same day that my dissertation is due in so I dont have time to get organised for it. I managed to get everything on the internet on Saturday... my mum and dad treated me to the dress..its gorge. its gold and floaty and im in love with it. Im accessorising it with kinda brown peeptoe vintagey shoes, brown beaded/sequined clutch, and these beautiful earrings and bracelet that have like brown gems and also look vintagey. its all beautiful.

im a bit iffy about the ball.......not all my group of uni friends are going. one has a 21st and the other is working. one of the girls coming is taking her bf (the whole thing is coupley generally) the other isnt taking a boy but is taking all her flatmates ( * * * ?! who wants to go to someone elses course ball??) so its just me and this other girl left... shes my date! her and her bf just split up, but im scared theyll get back and she'll take him and ill just be a pure spare part...nitemare!

 

ive decided to apply to the diploma in legal practice. i was always so against it but i wanna keep my options open now. i duno... i just think it would be silly not to do it for the sake of one more year at uni, u know? ah well.. we shall see.

 

its snowing so heavy here today. it better clear up over night, cos im going to a rape crisis conference in the city tomorrow. I had to pay to go, and i really think it will help with the dissertation majorly, so fingers crossed i make it.

[bobsiesprincess]

I feel so alone tonight. Ive been in tears for ages. This has been building up for ages. My sleepings been getting worse and worse. Im just so majorly stressed. I dont think anyone can understand how much work I have to do right now. I went to that conference today, and met a girl on my course who told me loads of people have finished their dissertations. That makes me feel ill. Its due in in 24 days or something. * * * am i gonna do? its worth a third of my overall mark for the whole year.

 

I need someone to hug me and tell me everythings gonna be ok. So of course im REALLY missing K. And his mum and dad...

I want to call him just now, but I know I'd regret calling him and crying. I'm still wishing he'd come running back I guess deep down.

I dont want him to move away. I'd give anything to be lying with him on his bed hugging and chatting right now. Just like old times.

 

At times when I was this down and irrational, Chris would talk to me and knock some sense into me. I miss that so much.

[RedBranchKnight]

Hey bobsies, Im in the exact same situation as yourself right now actually! I have a project worth 10% of my course due in in less than 4 weeks which I havnt started thinking I had loads of time, but apparently everyone else has done half of it or nearly finished, and another 2 due in, each worth about 5% of the course each in the next 2 weeks that I have to work on. Felt ill thinking about all the work I have, and like you say, my sleeping patterns are all over the place the last few weeks (if Im asleep before 2am I consider it an early night these days). And I missed most of last week because I just didnt go in.

 

But we'll get through it and meet the deadlines, thats what students do! But seriously, the fact youre so worried just goes to show how serious youre taking this and that will stand to you. 24 days is loads of time, youll get so much done. Youve gotten through many hard things, you can manage this too! Just stay cool, focused and apply yourself. Best of luck!