girl friend Posted July 12, 2008 Share Posted July 12, 2008 Wowowowow shee is soooo into you.. how could you miss that? from what you've wrote. Try this, when you next see her, hug her real close, sorta lingering hug, and when u finally have 2 pull away, kiss her cheek softly. you'll be able to see/feel her jolt with sparks.. engage her reaction. you say you are not out of the closet, nor will u ever be...WHY NOT? Heck if you can't be yourself around, em, yourself, what chance do you have in pursuit of happiness... tho i know it is easy to preach, not so easy to do it.. good luck! Why not try a few lines like ''your more than just a friend to me'', see how it goes down... you can always back down and pretend you didn't mean THAT, if worst came to worst and she did freak. she wont tho! make the move! Mb compliment her loads, tell her shes luking fine! Try calling her babes. Try bringing her flowers! Etc Link to comment
mylove Posted July 12, 2008 Author Share Posted July 12, 2008 well girlfriend I sensed shes into me but cant quite figure it out arghhh!!Yeah next time when I meet her I am gna try hugging her like what you have mentioned and even try kissing her on the cheek..this is gona bring me butterflies..(aww). Welll for the out of the closet thing..I could have if I were of a different origin or sumthing but I just cant..coz its against the law over here..arghhh and I would be dead..arghhh...any sorta news that I read in newspapers and with any sorta title of GAY or LESBIAN my eyes pop out ready to read... mean understanding how it feels to be them,its just so nice...and warm and lovely..coz of course its nothing wrong,infact one has a gift I believe of loving sumone of their own gender!Its a gift!If only everyone would accept the fact... I do compliment her alot..like hey you look good in that or you have really lost weight and looking cool(shes a tad bit heavy down but she doesnt look like she is at all!!)I even told her she looks good and that she has a wrong body image of herself..she would just laugh and say..no ways I havent lost weight..I know my jeans very well(lolll)..yeah I was thinking of that babes thing..whenever I sms her which I do every night,I send mushy and sorta well nice smss.. that reminds me i gotta text her now..before she goes to sleep.. So this week we are meeting for major shopping before leaving for the US..lets see where it goes!! Thanks for the tips!! Link to comment
Loves Enemy Posted July 12, 2008 Share Posted July 12, 2008 You better make your move soon, especially since you're leaving. It's the perfect time to do it too. If she likes you back (which it's a BIG BIG chance she does) you get to spend a little more personal time together . and if she doesn't, you're going to be apart somewhat soon and will have a lot of stuff going on with your move to the US to get her off your mind. It's a win-win situation. The only bad thing that if she does, is you're going to wish you made your move sooner. Live without regrets, go for it, I'm cheering for you. Link to comment
girl friend Posted July 12, 2008 Share Posted July 12, 2008 its against the law over here..arghhh and I would be dead..arghhh...any sorta news that I read in newspapers and with any sorta title of GAY or LESBIAN my eyes pop out ready to read its illegal? still? what actually being gay, or the act of sex? Where the heck are you from? if u don't mind me asking. i dont mean ur like postcode, just generally which area in the world..? sheesh, yeh move to the US! But since you've said that its illegal i re-read your posts and it certainly makes a lot more sense to me now! Knowing why you're both so... holding back! It would be so risky to take the gamble for either of you. i mean, what if you were wrong and she was a homophobe actually who honestly just saw u as a best friend? I should apologise, i was viewing it as a chick from Newcastle, with probs one of the most active gay scenes in the country, over 20 gay bars and clubs, etc. Not with a view to it being illegal.. what would the punishment be? cripes! i take it back.. don't make the move until you have achieved US citizenship together..! Link to comment
mylove Posted July 13, 2008 Author Share Posted July 13, 2008 love's enemy yeah I get its a sorta win win situation...will definitely try something girlfriend;well we both sorta are from India(actually from the US im a citizen was born in the US,while she was in the US till high school well we sorta have our families in India,and completed our graduation here..and now going back to the US to complete more..yeah its illegal to be out of the closet here and even have sex,(there are more weird stuff here neways BUT THERE ARE ALOT OF GAY AND LESBIANS IN THE CLOSET HER AS WELL WHO I KNOW,and who are in relatons without people knowing lol..)but this girl is definitely kinda free with her expressions,and definitely likes US stuff more...which we always discuss when we meet,sitcoms,fashion,people,stars...its all US US US....did I mention once we were at MCD'S and we saw two guys sitting accross each other and one accidently leaned in far enough to bump his head to the other guy,my love saw that and she kinda smiled and laughed and was like..well the worlds changed! From what I get back..the vibes seems positive enough..to the extent that she MAY(now m not that sure but still...) like the hug and the kiss on the cheek....and its like you can automatically open up a bit more if one feels it perfectly fine and natural.. Even if its illegal here,who knows what two loving people can do when they are alone...lol...I mean there was this girl ealier,who was my roomate for 5 years!who I had a crush on and she seemed straight coz of her boy craziness..but shes the one who used to tickle me,wrestle with me for hours on her bed,touch our faces so close enough to brush our noses against each other and alot more..and all this with our door locked(hehe)..but she never ever seemed to do anything close like this to anyone else..and m sure if I wud have kissed her lips sumthing would have happened..but her marraige suddenly popped up...and she left..arghh.neways... So this girl I love now is free in many ways compared to the other one in terms of expressions,views and when we call each other its for a minimum of an hour...even if we keep teasing each other.. Well lets see where its goes ill try my best..I dont want to lose her..sometimes the thought of me hgging and later kissing her even makes me cry imagining if she likes it back and has the same thing going on in her mind!!Its just so beautiful! Link to comment
mylove Posted July 13, 2008 Author Share Posted July 13, 2008 oh GIRLFRIEND for the illegal thing..well it is against the law..in India,but people dont care..its not that strict like what you see in other places like they hang people and stuff..lolll its just that they dont allow the government to see whats happening and maintain relationships that way..there are many many gay people here..I know one of my school friends whose a lesbian....even if we did express our desires to each other m sure we wudnt want our families to find out ..but it would be between us is fine with us..IF SHE FEELS THE SAME WAY...so im going shopping with her this week...cant wait!!Each time we meet and depart I feel an emptiness in my chest..sumhow i feel she feels that void too..now i gotta find out... Link to comment
SarCareBear Posted July 15, 2008 Share Posted July 15, 2008 good luck My Love! i'd love to stay posted on what looks like abeautiful love story =D Link to comment
mylove Posted July 15, 2008 Author Share Posted July 15, 2008 aha so she tried calling me up today morning..lol she knows im not a morning person but loves irritating me..but I was so sleepy I cudnt pick up the phone..so I called her back...later and for the next 15 min we kept irritating each other and pulling each others leg while talknig and repeating each others most used words..it was hilarious..lolllll..we always do that...so we are going shopping this week...OH btw I got a card for her...A HAPPY JOURNEY,I MISS U CARD...it has the most sweetest thngs written on it it just made my heart melt and I had to pick it up!!So im going to give it to her... Link to comment
mylove Posted July 15, 2008 Author Share Posted July 15, 2008 this is what my card says A warm note to say goodbye, things wouldnt be the same when well be apart, No doubt youll be close in thoughts and memories, Butlet me tell you,before you leave, that no thought or memories can pacify the sorrows.. of being away from you..ill miss you! Link to comment
nanobaby Posted July 15, 2008 Share Posted July 15, 2008 aww, thats a really cute card I agree with everyone else...MAKE A MOVEEEEEEEEE! Link to comment
mylove Posted July 21, 2008 Author Share Posted July 21, 2008 hey girlfriend! well we met up for shopping but I cudnt hug her arghh as we met upon a crowded train..lol...but its oki..it was constant flirting,touching,laughing,pulling each others legs,shopping everywhere..we had fun and at the end we sat in a local coffee shop I handed her over the card I had got..she was kinda surprised but we both are crazily funny and humorous so instead of feeling sad n stuff we both kinda ended up joking bout being apart..she was like"your crazy you know we are gonna be in the same country and well end up working in the same state right??" I was like "I dnt know I mean..im not sure where exactly and stuff".Shes asked me this question 3 times..bout working in the same state as hers.But each time she asks me I sort of become quiet coz its confusing I dnt know if marriage might pop up or if Im gna work or what..so then she would look at me and question..are you worried bout stuff coming way like marriage(im 25).and I just look at her and say.."Id rather jump off a building than get married..my career is far important..at the moment"..btw we went shopping in a store and it had Stevie Wonders"I just want to say I love you "playing...so after we got out of the store,we were standing just inches apart when she starting singing it again right in front of me..I didnt know what to do or say except smile I mean I didnt know if she was JUST singing it or had sumthing going on behind her...sigh.... I was going to go partying at night in a local club with friends my love was gna come but her relatives popped up at her place arghhh) and this one guy is head over heels in love with me since long..who was going to accompany our group of 6 to the club..I told my love that and she started teasing me singing-OHHH (my name) and (his name) sitting in a tree..k-i-s-s-i-n-g ,first comes love etc etc"I gave her a grossed out look and grabbed her by the neck and tried shutting her mouth..and said"I dont think so- I dont love him".. but she kept singing trying to irritate me and I repeatedly grabbed her around the neck and playfully sorta tried holding her mouth pulling her closer..she didnt seem to mind this.. I was physically more close to her than any other day... while coming back home in the train we were really really tired but still kept on talking n blabbering and teasing each other..now she has a book of mine that she has to return...and she was supposed to give it to me ..but she didnt and she had got the book with her..so now before she departs we are still going to meet one more time at her house(maybe thats why she kept the book so we cud meet again?)...I knew we were going to meet again so the day wasnt to mushy and sad etc..but i SENT HER ALOT OF MUSHY SMSS over the weekend keep you all updated Link to comment
mylove Posted October 14, 2008 Author Share Posted October 14, 2008 I cant believe it ..so im in california now.its been a very long time....im sorry all but i was just sooo tied up with stuff..and my love is in pennslyvania..we are in touch through phone n all..and we talk for atleast an hour...lately i have a group of friends from which theres a girl(whose happily married)who casually just came up with my loves story..she said that once upon a time my love had a sorta crush on another girl ..coz they were in an all girls school...now just hearing this made me so excited..and a day before i spoke to my love..till late night...and all my friends started teasing me casualy..(coz theres a to-be lesbian girl in my group.) so i was like cmon u guys shut up..and my love was on the other end of the phone..and asked me why everyones giggling.. i told her they are my girly friends and they areteasing me saying im the next girl-girl starter.(jokingly) so my love is like hey u know what!! let them tease you(my friends were teasing me with my love)...over the phone..she was like its fun let them tease you etc..so we were kinda talking bout lesbian relations..and i just happened to mention theres a couple that stay in my dorm..and they behave really funny.etc..to my love..when my love said"whats so funny about it"..( i guess she was concerned).I told her no i mean not funny but I like to see them together.. Now me n my friends are going to NY for xmas n new years and so is my love..and we are probably meeting there or maybe staying for a day or so..I really feel sumthings boiling up..specially after my other friend told me about this crush thing that my love had in school on another girl a long time ago...it made me soo excited!!Hoping that something may just be boiling underneath betweeen us..our phone conversations also go on for long..last time she slept at 1.30am..not realizing how long we were talking..what SHOULD I DO ????We are states apart..but soon meeting up but can anyone tell me whats the enxt best thing to do??? Link to comment
curiositycat Posted October 15, 2008 Share Posted October 15, 2008 I don't think there is any question anymore. She loves women. She has followed you to another country, IMO. She wants you to pull her closer, bring her in and make it official. At least that's what I think. I think the situation has changed. When you first started writing, it was tenuous, scary, and maybe she would go for it or not. Now, I think you are no longer waiting to see what she does. Now you are only waiting to see what YOU do. Are you brave enough? Is it what you really want? You're the only barrier left. This is only my opinion. It's possible that if you flat-out tell her you love her and want to be with her sexually, she might get nervous about something so blunt. However, if you just start kissing her often (on the cheek when you say hello or goodbye, on the neck, on the shoulder), or express your attraction to women in general, she might take that and run with it. A lot. Link to comment
mylove Posted October 15, 2008 Author Share Posted October 15, 2008 awww curisoty cat..thanks for the help...yeah i better start doing sumthing fast...now theres a story i can tell her..about the to be lesbian in my group-it seems that she was giving out wrong vibes o the other real lesbian....n yesterday...it all came out...the girl ni my group started crying..I asked her wh..she said that she feels the other girl(lesbian ) is hitting on her ..etc and that shes straight n all...now I can tell my love about this story..to jusst bring out a good LESBIAN topic...and I am going to tell her that its perfectly fine to be a lesbian etc...and that I felt sorry for the real lesbian n stuff... this might get things going on!!I ll update things soon...thanks!! Link to comment
pnk Posted October 15, 2008 Share Posted October 15, 2008 maybe ask her if she fancies anyone at the moment or if she has been on a date with anyone recently n she how she replies..thats should give u good insight into whether she is interested in men or not..or simply have a girly chat with her, ask wot kind of guy she goes for..etc Link to comment
chocolatemilk Posted October 16, 2008 Share Posted October 16, 2008 Lol, I think that topic isn't a good idea, she might think you are hinting that any advances she makes would be unwanted but you would still be sympathetic towards her if she was gay. Maybe just bring up something a little less sad and unrequited? Why not mention some lesbian novel (with a happy ending) or something like that? You could always try the age old "my -cough- friend has this problem -cough-and I-- I MEAN THEY need some advice" perhaps something like this: "hey, 'my love' I have this friend right? well she likes this other friend who is a girl, and well..they've been friends for ages but this friend wants to kiss this other friend right? but she isn't sure whether she should or not, what do you think?" or something like that perhaps? You could make it as obvious as you want and in the unlikely circumstances she rejects you, (judging by your recent posts) you still have some plausible deniablity. Link to comment
fragmint Posted October 18, 2008 Share Posted October 18, 2008 why dont you ask her to go out with you and say 'lets call it a date' and see her reaction? i've done this and if she is a homophobe her reaction will show it. however if she is gay or bi friendly she will also show it. Link to comment
mylove Posted February 9, 2009 Author Share Posted February 9, 2009 well she stays really far...in another state...we met up in xmas for holidays in NY...and when she saw me she ran n hugged me for like 10 seconds!!n it was amazing...but i was with another friend who was staying with me for the holidays so cudnt be with my love alone....but when we departed i sorta hugged her hard so did she n when i brushed up against her cheek ..she sorta did too..but there was her relative around n my other friend so cudnt really appreciate it...now we are back to our states..im in california...n i dont know either shes been too busy or sumthing she does chat but rarely chats liek how she used to..she does have alot of studying to do coz shes in the same proffesion as mine...the only way i maintain contact is through chat or phone... Link to comment
Nina_2009 Posted February 11, 2009 Share Posted February 11, 2009 mylove, it does not surprise me that she "needs to study more" and not is opened as she used to be. If i were her, i would lose any hope for relationship. It looks like you are enjoying yourself by pulling strings, having fun, but i didn't see that you really cared about her. This relationship does not have any future it is pretty clear. If in India a rain could stop you from meeting her, I do not think there is a hope! Oh, I do believe the girl was seriously in love with you. Link to comment
Kelkundici Posted February 14, 2009 Share Posted February 14, 2009 After reading all of that, here is my advice to you. If you love this girl, you owe her to either tell her you love her or to let her go. It's time to open up and confess everything, whether it's to ask her to start a relationship, or to tell her you can't. Link to comment
mylove Posted February 20, 2009 Author Share Posted February 20, 2009 nina_2009,im sorry but i missed out on alot of stuff that we have enjoyed together when we used to emet up and all throught when in USA im the one who used to call her,send her messages ,ecards,any sort of contact anyhow..she had said before she came here..o yeah u dont have to worry bout the maintaining contact thing..but look at her now..i have like called her up soo many times she has picked up but sumthing came up n she was like ill call u back tomorw ..n ill wait then i call her from my friends phones..but never get through..i sent her cards as well,gifted her a very nice watch when we met up..its so much from my side..and much more then i even remember..thats why it hurts me like hell from the inside..it makes me even cry at times..i see her pictures popping up on facebook with friends..maybe shes got so used to her new friends..even when we met up in NY..i mean there were calls coming from the same friends who she normally LIVES with..and instead of like talking spending time with me she was on the phone half of the time..which upset me..and i even told her..or she realized..i even send messages on yahoo chat..when i see her online but hardly any replies..relationships are very important to me..she was giving so many signs of sumthing maybe a lesbian would but i dunno wats happening...its oki if she wants to be friends but it hurts when it feels like she no longer remembers you after spending such a wonderful time with her back home.. Link to comment
Nina_2009 Posted February 21, 2009 Share Posted February 21, 2009 My love, I understand your pain and doubts. Here what I think. Every relationship happen for a lesson. It is our quest, our journey to take. You are in love with her, if she is lesbian or not it doesn't that much matter. Your feelings that what is important. It is your life, your experience and it is up to you how to have it. If it still important for you, I would just choose time and would go to her state to tell her face to face how you feel. I would dare to do it because we live only once. I would play this card, becuase it gives you a chance openly and honestly communicate your feelings and if she doesn't share them, then it will release you from this love story. Or... i would probably give her link on this forum, it is another possibility to let her understand your feelings. Link to comment
gyoza Posted February 21, 2009 Share Posted February 21, 2009 i think you should just let her know. i was tortured for a while last year with the problem and dilemma and struggled for a bit..(and you know that mylove.. i told you my story). I told her, she was shocked at my revelation, it was awkward because she didn't feel the same way, we're still friends today, and better friends than ever. I've moved on, it wasn't too hard. Telling her directly (skype, video chat) or indirectly (perhaps taking Nina's suggestion of sending her this thread to open up your feelings to her) helps you to end all that endless/ torturous speculation of whether if there is a possibility of being in a relationship, and whether positive or negative, you're better off. Link to comment
mylove Posted February 23, 2009 Author Share Posted February 23, 2009 yeah thats right...guys can u imagine i was liek almost in tears not hearing from her and yesterday she had called but i wasnt at home n i heard her voice mail!!she was like heyy babes im sorry cudnt call u or chat was really busy over here please call me as soon as u hear this so i ll call her tomorw try getting my message accross now..thanks gyoza and nina_2009! oh by the way yesterday was at a party and we had truth or dare and the dares went on n on and we all had dares on girl on girl kissing and smooching and licking n stuff ..theres a girl in my group who is engaged but flirts around liek a kid the entire day with me(her fiances lives in sum other country) so everyone told her to smooch me so she did and it felt nice im sure she did the smae but she didnt admit..but after i sat down i was smiling but still thinking of my love...then the next dare was to lick up choclate syrup off of one of my friends inner thigh...that was hott..she actaully got turned on....(hmm i didnt know i was so good )never have i tried..so tomorw im calling up my love and casually just saying wat we played and stuff and seeing her reaction and possibly letting off hints to her..saying i was thinknig bout u that time..etc ... Link to comment
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