speak Posted October 7, 2007 Share Posted October 7, 2007 I've just turned eighteen this year and I have never had a boyfriend. I've never been kissed and never have been on a date. Yesterday, a family member I hadn't seen since the age of five asked if I had a boyfriend and was like "Oh my gosh!" when I said I never have had one. I was asked out in high school and I liked that person, but due to my shyness, I said "no" everytime he asked me out. I work a job that is 8-5, mon-fri. but no one is there. How do guys react to such inexperience and How will I ever find love? Everyone says it will happen when you least expect it but, I always feel so lonely. Thanks. Link to comment
shikashika Posted October 7, 2007 Share Posted October 7, 2007 lots of people i knew never had a boyfriend or girlfriend at 18.... Try not to feel bad about it, as important as it may seem now.. you have many years ahead of you!! Link to comment
OOHMY Posted October 7, 2007 Share Posted October 7, 2007 Just be careful that you don't meet a guy whos going to try to take advantage over that situation. There are some guys who will think of she doesn't know what a relationship is, so they think they can control you and all that mess. Just be cautious of the person you do decide to date! Its not a bad thing at all, some guys may even see that as a good thing! Link to comment
Crazyaboutdogs Posted October 7, 2007 Share Posted October 7, 2007 Just be careful that you don't meet a guy whos going to try to take advantage over that situation. There are some guys who will think of she doesn't know what a relationship is, so they think they can control you and all that mess. Just be cautious of the person you do decide to date! Its not a bad thing at all, some guys may even see that as a good thing! Yes, that is so true. There are always those kind people around (men or women) who think that someone who has not been in a relationship before is someone who can be treated without respect. Those people are not worth your time...there are decent people out there who will value your inexperience and will want to make your first experience very positive and worth remembering. It is very sad that even at 18 people feel like an oddball if they haven't been in a relationship. At this rate, the next generation will be feeling uncomfortable if they haven't had a relationship by the age of 10! There is too much pressure at any age, to be in a relationship and that is why people just grab anyone and are more concerned about quantity rather than quality. Link to comment
Daligal83 Posted October 7, 2007 Share Posted October 7, 2007 When I was 18, I had been on two dates (with the same guy, and ended it because I got scared), never had a boyfriend, never kissed a guy. I felt a lot like you. Now at 24, I'm with the most amazing guy and I plan on marrying him. Just because you haven't experienced it yet, doesn't mean it can't happen. OOHMY had a great point in being careful who you choose to date. My first boyfriend (started dating him at 20) was a huge jerk and definitely had no respect for me. Don't settle for just anyone. Link to comment
speak Posted October 7, 2007 Author Share Posted October 7, 2007 I understand. I have thought to be careful because I want my first experience to be amazing. But, how will I ever find love? What if the person I end up liking - doesn't like me. I want the person I like, to really like me as well, I don't want to date someone just because. I don't even know how guys view me and I have no idea where I may meet them. Link to comment
Daligal83 Posted October 7, 2007 Share Posted October 7, 2007 You're going to have all types of experiences. Sometimes, you will like a guy and he will not return your feelings. Sometimes, a guy will like you that you have no interest in. And then sometimes, you both have an interest in each other. There are no guarantees, you just have to get out there and take a chance. You can meet guys in all sorts of ways. Through friends, through clubs, through family, through online dating sites, etc. It's just about putting yourself out there so you have the chance to meet them. Link to comment
speak Posted October 8, 2007 Author Share Posted October 8, 2007 Well, I definitely will not meet them in a club, because it just isn't my scene. It's not who I am. And, I don't want to try online dating - I think it is VERY scary. I don't know where I will meet that person but, I just want to KNOW that when I see them, that person is for me. I've only been liked by one person and I am like craving someone that I like, to like me. Link to comment
Daligal83 Posted October 8, 2007 Share Posted October 8, 2007 You have to be careful of that "love at first sight" feeling. I really believe that you can't know from the first time you meet someone. You know nothing about them. I think it's best to realize that you have an interest and see where it takes you. If you put a lot of expectations on how it should happen, you'll always be disappointed. Link to comment
Sweet Buttabean Jellayroll Posted October 8, 2007 Share Posted October 8, 2007 your not missing anything your not a loser your just fine your perfectly normal now when do you plan too accecpt yourself time is ticking Link to comment
OOHMY Posted October 8, 2007 Share Posted October 8, 2007 You kind of will feel it. Its not easy to explain, but theres a feeling when you just know its right. It may take time, but you will know. Don't fall so quick upon the FIRST GUY YOU THINK is the sweetest though. Link to comment
Toki Posted October 8, 2007 Share Posted October 8, 2007 You should embrace this. When I was single in high school, everybody liked me and wanted to be around me. This is because all the drama that kicked up after I started dating kinda killed my reputation, because well I know how to pick em' I guess. haha! But really theres nothing wrong with that at all, there is an innocence I had that I'll never get back. But its part of living, so I wouldn't worry about it because the only constant in life is change. And before you know it they'll be falling over you like crazy! One thing that I've found always true is people will gather around character to whatever extent they think it is. Sometimes its not a good character, but if you hold yourself to a higher unique esteem without being over the top I suppose is the best word. People will draw to you! So embrace yourself! Link to comment
speak Posted October 8, 2007 Author Share Posted October 8, 2007 I do like the innocence in it, I do respect myself and only want to be with someone who will respect me. I don't feel like a loser about being so inexperienced, because when I see the world we live in, it makes me feel like I am one in a million and I am not trying to be cocky. I just don't know how, and when I will ever meet someone. Like, I've been told that it will happen when you least expect it but does that mean I will meet them in produce? It's weird. I just want to be in love with the person I end up with, and not be with them because I am afraid I will never find someone, and I hope who I end up with will feels the same way. I hope it does happen for me. Link to comment
Toki Posted October 8, 2007 Share Posted October 8, 2007 Oh it'll happen. I dunno about meeting them in produce though haha! I usually try to get in and out of a grocery store. But hey it can happen anywhere, but don't throw yourself straight into it and you sound like you know that. Don't get desperate - I was, and it put me in a tough situation sometimes. It was like I was trying to make it everything it wasn't, and I was lying to myself. And it is easy to do. But along with that, it will happen to you too! Sorry! But you'll figure it out and carry on. Gotta learn from your mistakes. An experienced sailor doesn't get his knowledge from calm seas. Link to comment
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