Is she really interested? help!

[iam_nimit]

dont mind the grammer and spellings!

 

there is a girl, whom i have been making eye contact from past 3 weeks. i thought she was interested....as she was always the first one to look... yesterday...we both were present at a college party. she was there with a friend of hers... eye contact there too..as usual! and like everytime i looked at her for a few seconds...nd then i looked away. after few hours...everybody started to dance... ! we both were in two diffrent groups. for few minutes she was standing alone... i thought it to be the best time and asked her if she wanted to join...! she REFUSED...

 

what was this for?

is she really not interested?

what if she makes eye contact again? huh?

help help!!

[Lana0120]

If she refused, I think that you have to assume she just isn't interested. Of course, there can be other reasons, but 95 per cent of the time no, just means no. Move on to the next girl.

[iam_nimit]

hey! i forgot to mention...when i asked her for the dance...i was in a group...and perhaps she refused to join in because she didnt know anybody there? ....???

ooh...im so optimistic!

[Lana0120]

I think you are being too optimistic, yes. I think you're in danger of reading situations how you want them to be, rather than the way that they actually are. If you have friends who know this girl, ask their opinion, as they may be able to give you a better idea.

[Bunney]

She might have been really shy and chickened out or she just didn't feel like it. There can be other reasons than not being interested.

[Haven]

You should have introduced yourself first.. and struck up a conversation.. and then asked her to dance or whatever. Obviously if a complete stranger comes up to you and asks you to dance or join another group, you're probably not gonna want to do it. ("You" being the collective you.)

[taxi10]

You should have introduced yourself first.. and struck up a conversation.. and then asked her to dance or whatever. Obviously if a complete stranger comes up to you and asks you to dance or join another group, you're probably not gonna want to do it. ("You" being the collective you.)

 

I agree that the best tactic would have been to introduce yourself rather than asking to dance. reverse the situation and you'll understand better.

[Dr]

To be honest, I say move on.

 

Forget her. If you see her again, ignore her. Make as little eye contact as possible. IF she is/was interested you have expressed your interest and she has rejected it. The next move is hers if she wants it.

 

Eye contact usually means SOMETHING. Not always good or bad. Many times it is attraction. There are many ways to diagnose this:

 

1) Eye contact almost EVERY time you see each other. The odd failed contact is allowed.

2) She smiles slightly at you when you both have eye contact. (Smile is a positive reaction to seeing you).

3) Her pupils become dialated when seeing you - AKA big. You can't see this unless you are close though.

4) There is eye contact, and then she does something to make sure you see her - IE something outrageous, being int eh same place as you (or in your path - doing nothing) etc.

 

What you must not do is get confused with non-friendly eye contact.

Sometimes we look at people we see regularly but are not attracted to them. Because we see these people regularly, we sub-conscienciously identify them by looking at them and more specifically their eyes. THIS is what confuses many people as they misread it as a sign of attraction.

 

You MUST see some form of friendly gesture before you recognise eye contact as attraction.

[iam_nimit]

hmm i think you guys are right.

 

but what if she makes eye contact again? if.....

 

im not going to her again...thats for sure! blmm.....

[boo121]

If she refused, I think that you have to assume she just isn't interested. Of course, there can be other reasons, but 95 per cent of the time no, just means no. Move on to the next girl.

 

Oh for crying out loud... What just give up at the first hurdle?

 

Be a bit more persistent in future!

[boo121]

 

Eye contact usually means SOMETHING. Not always good or bad. Many times it is attraction. There are many ways to diagnose this:

 

Attraction for women is different than it is for men. Attraction is "doing and saying" the right things. This can't be created through eye contact. She might be "attracted" to you through eye contact.

 

What you must not do is get confused with non-friendly eye contact.

Sometimes we look at people we see regularly but are not attracted to them. Because we see these people regularly, we sub-conscienciously identify them by looking at them and more specifically their eyes. THIS is what confuses many people as they misread it as a sign of attraction.

 

You MUST see some form of friendly gesture before you recognise eye contact as attraction.

 

don't over analyse eye contact... If you 2 make eye contact, smile and go over and start a conversation

[scotty77]

I agree with boo,perhaps you misread the eye contact,unless she doesn't feel comfortable dancing,she likely isn't interested.

[Lana0120]

Oh for crying out loud... What just give up at the first hurdle?

 

Be a bit more persistent in future!

 

If a girl clearly has no interest in you, then yes. It doesn't mean you can't be friendly, but after an outright rejection like that, 1) why open yourself up to more of it and 2) why make the girl feel uncomfortable.

[iam_nimit]

if tomorrow...she makes eye contact with me....

what should i do?

[RedPenguin]

Well, I think sometimes girls do eye contact and staring to a point where it's so darn easy to confuse it for a good sign.

 

I had a girl that would stare at me every single day in class, after I complimented her, then she told me how she had some issues with math, so I figured, well let's be nice, so I offered her math help since I had a fair time with math, she constantly ignored me.

 

Why someone stares at the same person for like 10+ classes then doesn't seem to give a darn about that person, doesn't really make much sense to me, but oh well.

 

I can see staring one day, but every single time you see him? LoL.

 

So don't feel bad, I had some weird moments with staring and eye contact.

 

I had a girl that didn't like me in High School and she would stare at me from a distance many times when she seen me. I know she defiantly didn't like me, she flat out told me, and didn't like me looking at her at all. I guess she felt, "You can't look at me, but I sure as heck can stare at you as much as I want." LoL.

[ghost69]

so girls look at you guys. then they don't like you. so what? u have to gauge their interest by interacting with them. you spoke to them, they showed they weren't. so some women give off horrible vibes. yeah, well, sucks. but stop complaining. dating and getting to know women wouldn't be as easy as going out and buying the ingredients for baking a pie. you still need to know how to cook.