The Consequences Of Anorexia

[sarey]

I just wrote this now, I'm very sorry if this offends anyone...

 

 

Staring back at the reflection,

wanting to be perfection,

smashing the mirror into pieces,

dying to be so very thin.

 

Running desperately,

to burn the calories,

to rid the fat,

wherever it's at.

 

Staring at the food,

the evilness within,

resisting the urge,

to eat and give in.

 

Stepping on the scales,

'That can't be right',

the number has lowered,

but the fat hasn't disappeared,

it's still here.

 

Dizziness occurs,

sickness has followed,

fainting becomes a new hobby,

feeling so very groggy.

 

Looking down at the food,

the table is surrounded,

by her family too,

'I've ate today', she says,

another lie, but that's okay,

it'll all be worth it,

in the end.

 

The bones now reveal,

from within the skin,

weakening as the days go by,

pains like a stabbing pin.

 

One day, running,

she ends up collapsing,

rushed into hospital,

so very ill.

 

She's now on deathsded,

and told she has little time left,

though all she ever wanted to be,

was thin, skinny.

 

I'd appreciate feedback.

[arwen]

Unfortunately it reminds me of a dark past- I have been anorexic for some years in my teens. If this is about you, it is my hope that you will believe me on my word that life is worth the weight so to say. That once you start climbing back UP, both weight-wise and life-wise, you will feel the energy, the warmth of life. It is scary but it's also so much better.

 

I think you are smart, talented and have a great potential. Keep on writing.

 

arwen

[sarey]

Thankyou very much for the comment.

 

No, no, this isn't about me, some verses do explain how I feel/how I am, but it isn't entirely about me.

Although I do have an 'ED' (I only place ' because I don't really believe I do have an ED), I only just wrote this because I have been around many people with an ED and this is what I've pretty much learnt about it.

 

 

I'm very sorry to have brought back bad memories.

 

[arwen]

Oh don't apologize to me sweetie! I have learned a LOT from that time and still learn from it! I find it a good poem and think it's good for you to write things down. I hope it's true that you are not anorexic- but please know that admitting to a problem is the first step. PM me if you have any specific questions, or need to talk, ok?

 

arwen

[sarey]

I will, thankyou very much.

*hugs*

 

[Gecko]

A girl I met in the first psych ward I was sent to was anorexic. She barely talked to anyone, but those rare times when I could talk to her in private I could see what a caring person she was. We shared things that I never thought anyone else could understand. After sinking to the bottom and ending up with a tube up my nose, I found a note next to my bed. It quoted "This too shall pass" and sparked my will to stand up again. I haven't spoken with her since I left, because her social anxiety is so intense (sometimes she won't speak to family members).

 

Later on I found out her family moved to Kuwait. I continue to send her email and hope someday she'll respond. It's really sad to think that someone so loving could be ashamed of themselves.

[someguy88]

Ugh! What a terrible disease it is. Your poem really moved me.

 

Someone I love is suffering from bulimia and I just can't understand how it ever got a grip on her. She's a natural beauty, intelligent, caring and really in tune to the feelings of those around her. I wish she could only see herself through my eyes, or anyone's eyes for that matter. I hope she gets well.

[sarey]

Gecko - I'm very sorry about your friend...

 

Someguy - I'm glad my poem moved you - was sorta the point. Anorexia/Bulimia and that other eating disorder, they are sometimes misunderstood.

 

And, from experience, the way some people view themselves arn't always the same way others view them.

Eating disorders can disort(sp?) the mind, how they picture themselves, it's a deadly, horrid disease...

 

thankyou for the comments.

[AnotherBrokenDoll]

This is possibly my favourite one of your poems Sarey, you are really an amazingly talented girl, and you are only 14.

 

These disorders are horrible and life threatening. People look down upon those who suffer from them as though its a choice. Its not that way at all and your poem showed that.

 

I doubt that it would offend anyone. Its a true doscription. I wish all people could see your poem and realise thats how it is. It takes over. You cannot chose anymore. You have lost that ability.

 

Thankyou so much for sharing.

[JeckyllNHyde]

Yes, thanks for sharing. I too agree that for 14 years you are quite talented and it won't offend anyone.

I thought from seeing your journals that maybe you where the one batteling anorexia. I am glad to hear that this is not the case. I hope you can manage to find a cure for your ED so that it never escalates to the point of anorexia or bullemia...

[sarey]

Thanks AnotherBrokenDoll, I really appreciate that.

 

Jeck - I've been told by a few doctors I have an ED, but I don't believe it, recently though, I've been trying really hard to eat.

 

Thankyou for the comments, I really do appreciate them, and yes, I'm only fourteen lol.

They're not that good. But thanks.

[AnotherBrokenDoll]

Not that good.. are you insane. They are really powerful. You have strong words which convey an incrediable amount of emotion. Its truly amazing.

[sarey]

Thankyou very much.

 

Yours are good too.