Unofficial Poll...

[SpaceCadet]

Ok, here we go. I will try to be as unbiased as I can in telling this story. My boyfriend and I have been having some issues lately. We usually see each other on weekends. Last weekend, he called me and said he needed to make a call. I said please call me back because we were supposed to get together. He didn't call me back. I called him at night to ask what was up but I got the answering machine. Monday 8/27 came and went and we did not speak. Tuesday 8/28, we spoke but argued. I told him to call me when he's ready. Wednesday 8/29 nothing. Thursday 8/30 nothing. Friday 8/31 nothing. Saturday 9/1 nothing. Sunday 9/2 nothing. Monday 9/3 nothing. Because I was giving him his space, I did not call, but I gave in on Monday night. I called him and left a message around 5pm. Around 11pm, he called me back and said he was sleeping (he sleeps a lot) but just got up and is returning my call. It was late so we said we'd speak the next day. Tuesday we spoke. He told me he was going out of town for work from Wed-Mon... he works for a relief org and was being sent to central America due to the hurricane hitting. So I told him then since he was going to be out of town for the weekend, I might go up to Tampa. He was upset. Wednesday 9/5 we argued about me going up. His trip was cancelled so I told him that I won't go... BUT that if he's going to ditch me again this weekend like he did the previous week, I was going to go. No reaction. Thursday we spoke and argued about the same issue and tonight, it's Friday and we are still arguing about the same issue. (Well very early Saturday morning actually). Here's the issue.

 

He knows I've been trying to reconnect with some old friends. I have 3 friends in Tampa that I haven't spoken to for a long time... years. We lost touch. But within the past month, I've been trying to reconnect with many of them. So on that Tuesday night when he told me he was going out of town for work on Wednesday though Monday, I said ok, well I might go to Tampa to reconnect with these 3 friends that I haven't seen in 10 years, 5 years and 2 years. He was upset that he hadn't heard about these people and I'm calling them friends and that I was going to see them. Well I told him that I lost touch with them but since our relationship has been on the out, I've been feeling to reconnect with old friends. Well he keeps asking why I never spoke to him about them. We started dating 2 years ago he said so why is he just hearing about them. In these two years, the friendships were non existent so there was no reason for me to talk about them. There was nothing improper about any of the friendships and I wasn't hiding anything, just honestly lost touch. Ummm, my question is, if I wasn't in touch with these people any longer, why would I have spoken to him about them? How could I have? He's really hung up on one in particular. I went to college with 2 (so they are my age) and the 3rd one is in his 80's. He's hung up on the 80 year old. He doesn't understand why I was friends with an old man in college. I told him that my friends used to be on the tennis team and he used to come to their matches (and the men's tennis matches as well). I used to see him all the time so we ended up befriending each other. Once in a while he would take us (me and the 3 tennis girls) out for breakfast or lunch just to treat us. We were broke and enjoyed the free meal sometimes. He enjoyed our company but nothing inappropriate happened. I explained to the bf that the free meal was great because I was eating a Taco Bell 7 layer burrito for lunch and one for dinner. That's how broke I was. So yea, I welcomed a free meal. I didn't spread my legs for it for crying out loud!! My friendship with him lasted for the 3 years that I was there. When I graduated, we kept in touch for about 5 more years (not consistently, like 1-2 times a year). He had a stroke and being the uneducated person about strokes that I am, I stopped contacting him thinking that it was downhill. Anyway, because me & the bf relationship is so bad, I started contacting old friends again. On Thurs 8/30 (the same day I emailed the old man) I heard back from this old man. I wanted to share with bf, but bf didn't call me that day or the next or the next or the next.. So the first chance that I got was 9/4. He was upset. With all the explanation that I gave to him, it doesn't matter. I'm hiding things apparently. How am I wrong here? What am I not seeing? I told him that he's just hung up on the old man/young girl thing because he wishes it were him him having breakfast & lunches with a young girl. (That didn't go over too well) He keeps asking me this one question... "We've been together for 2 year, why haven't I heard about his old man????" (Mind you he's not even concerned about the other two who were my age). Okay, what's wrong with this picture.

 

Now for the not so biased part. What the hell is wrong with this man? He is incapable of having a relationship. He is possessive, jealous, insane, ridiculous and just stupid. He's an alcoholic, he's probably got pedophile tendencies (read my initial post) and I am so sick of this bull * * * *. I'm trying to be patient, but he's making it impossible. ](*,)](*,)

 

I am so over this relationship. I just wanted to vent and get an outsider's perspective. Thanks for listening. Feel free to tell me if I was wrong, what I did wrong, where I went wrong. I can handle it.

[kaoticbaby]

^SO, why are you with him? He go days without speaking to you, is an alcoholic {my dad was an alcoholic all my life, trust me I know it when I say that these people are incapable of having a real relationship until they start getting better}, he has PEDOPHILE tendencies {explains why he got so touchy when you joked that he wished that he was the old man having lunch with young girls}, jealous, possesive... and only sees you on weekends? And when you do speak, which is not a lot, you just argue.

 

This doesn't even sound like a relationship. You're out of college, and by the sounds of it have been past that for years. I think it's a time where you should either be establishing a GOOD relationship, or moving on. What are you being so "patient" for? What do you hope this will achieve? THat he will magically stop being possesive, be cured of his alcoholism, start seeing you more, etc. etc?

 

If you're so over this relationship, which you should be, then move on. This sounds like a dead-end road.

[sti_2004]

yea he sounds weird... i used to give the old silent treatment but we lived together so it wasn't so bad (childish i know).

 

i can see where he might be suspicious of you going to a different state to meet old friends he's never heard of....especially a 80 yr old man, it doesnt sound like everyday things you hear.

 

judging from your side of the story id say you could get alot more fulfillment with a different person.

[kaoticbaby]

If they were in a good relationship where they saw eachother more than once a week or once every other week, plus he didn't ignore her for days on end, then I would understand his suspicions.

 

But regardless of that, the bigger issue is that he is an alcoholic who is possesive, jealous, immature, and from her other post, can't even get off unless she's dressed up as an eight year old.

[sti_2004]

If they were in a good relationship where they saw eachother more than once a week or once every other week, plus he didn't ignore her for days on end, then I would understand his suspicions.

 

But regardless of that, the bigger issue is that he is an alcoholic who is possesive, jealous, immature, and from her other post, can't even get off unless she's dressed up as an eight year old.

 

oh wow just read that post.

 

spacecadet, he gotsta go....2 years ago!!