just when I think I'm getting stronger...

[SF_mike]

hi Cougar,

 

Sorry to read about your latest situation...I remember your posts from months ago when you put your 'foot down' with this guy. Wish I could give you some words of wisdom to make you feel better. Nothing is worse than when your partner doesn't have 'the feeling' for you anymore....I guess that's why I'm here at 2am feeling totally lost again....I had the face to face with my gal earlier this month and I still seem to be in denial somewhat...I just can't stop thinking of her/us & the past....and why things can't be worked out...it still doesn't make sense to me...

 

I'm doing everything I need to do (no contact, keeping busy, etc) but I still find myself sad at numerous times every damn day....can't seem to stop thinking about her....what she's doing/thinking/blah blah blah....almost like I refuse to accept this outcome even though I know it ain't going to change....Just wish I could circle a day on the calendar and know I'd be better on a certain day. The feelings of disappointment & loss have just seemed overwhelming lately....Looking forward to going back to work on Mon and getting into a routine again....the holidays have been a drag to say the least for me. This whole ordeal has been so confusing for me and there seems to be no end on the horizon...

 

The last few days I've felt lower then I did back in Sept/Oct....as my dumb thread stated in the very beginning..."Just when I'm feeling stronger...." I just don't know when I'm going to snap outa this funk that I'm in.....She was everything to me. Why do I still think she'll have a change of heart and come back? It's just so frustrating...

 

Anyways, this was suppossed to be a good vibe mesaage for Cougar ( and everyone else who needs one) but I've rambled on and on about my lousy mess again

 

Time to go sleep off the 2 dozen cocktails I guzzled tonight in yet another effort to forget my heartache...

 

Hang in there.

 

-Mike

[Cougar]

Mike,

 

Feel free to ramble on as much as you want to! I'm totally with you on the whole thing about wishing you could circle a day and know you'd be better on that day.

 

I have no idea how to feel better either so I understand where you're at with that one. I too cannot stop thinking about he and I and our relationship. So much of the problem is that I don't understand it. You know, the big issue for us was that I just wasn't feeling that "love" feeling from him. I was giving it to him, but wasn't feeling it from him and finally I just had to admit to myself that it may be that he was trying to convince himself that it was there.

 

Here's what really sucks though - three weeks ago, he told me he loved me and had strong feelings for me and wanted me to know that. He also took me home for the holidays. I asked him on the phone last night why he would do those things if he didn't feel them and he said it was all part of him trying to convince himself that he felt that way. It's such a cruel thing to do because when he told me he loved me, we later talked about how that was a big thing to say and how neither of us says it if we don't mean it. What a toad.

 

Anyway, I know how you feel too about hoping she'll change her mind and come back to you. I feel that way too. My breakup is very fresh (it happened officially less than 24 hours ago), but still, I think we never lose the hope that our lovers will come to their senses.

 

Man, it just sucks so bad when you have such a good thing and there's no solid reason for throwing it all away.

 

I've been talking with my father about this and he says that he just doesn't understand this guy and that he's going to be very sorry. Admitedly, Dad is biased, but he said that he knows I put a lot into this relationship and that anyone should be crawling over hot coals to want to have what I've got to give. He thinks my ex is going to really regret this.

 

I do too, but in the meantime, I've got to move on. What is everyone else doing to get through the minutes, let alone the days? I need help. Thanks for being here. I'm grateful for this forum.

[bdub]

I'm sorry to hear that the two of you have had a difficult holiday season. I have been reading this thread from the beginning and have been following the rollercoaster of emotions that the two of you have been going though.

 

At the beginning of this thread, I was in the same boat with the two of you. My breakup was pretty fresh and it hurt me a lot. The pain of the breakup is still with me, but it is not as sharp as it once was. I feel like I have turned a corner, that I've climbed my hill. Not to say that there won't be times that I look back and it brings me down, but healing has taken hold and I'm on my way.

 

I can't tell you how this happened. I know how it feels to be in the middle of the conflict still and not to be able to see the end of this emotional rollercoaster. But it will come. It is so cliche, but it just takes time. Reading other peoples posts at times and responding when I can has helped, and seeing friends has also helped.

 

I guess what I'm trying to say is that I've been where you are, recently. But it does end. I'm with you.

 

I hope the new year will bring happiness and peace to you both.

 

Best Wishes,

bdub

[Cougar]

Thank BDub. I know I will turn that corner soon too. The pain will lessen with every day.

 

I found out something today though that has thrown me for another loop. My ex put his profile back on the computer dating service we met on. It's been less than 24 hours since the official break up. Gee thanks for letting the body cool down.

 

I'm so depressed I just want to crawl into bed and never get out of it. I don't know what to do or how to feel. I keep hoping he'll call and say he's an idiot to give up such a good thing, but seeing his profile back up means it's really over...at least for him. That hurts so much. I so hoped he'd come to his senses.

[SF_mike]

Thanks bdub/Cougar for the always welcome advice.

 

I'm definitely a lot better than I was a couple months ago and have been on the 'healing highway' for weeks now. I knew the holidays would be tough but they de-railed me more than I had imagined. I find when I dwell upon her and play things over & over in my head I end up making myself upset...feeling like I did when it first happened. Wondering how she could have a change of heart like that, and how will I ever find anything close to her again, feeling like everything has been shattered, etc...I really worked myself up the other night. I had a fun night out with some friends at the bar, got home late and was just suddenly overcome with the feelings of disappointment/loss/lonliness again. I know I just need to keep my head down and continue to plow through it.

 

Hope you're feeling better Cougar...the return of his ad on the on-line dating page after 1 day must have been a horrible blow but hopefully it'll end up helping you to realize that he's not the guy for you.

 

Take care.

 

-Mike

[Cougar]

SF Mike,

 

Sure is tough to keep your head down and plow through it, isn't it? I've spent much of the day crying. I can't seem to sit down and have a couple of good, big cries. Instead, I cry throughout the day for small intervals.

 

I've been talking with my friends frequently, all of whom have been very supportive. My parents are too, thank God. My mother is even traveling out here to be with me - it's an 1,800 mile trip. I need her and am glad she's willing to come and be with me. My apartment is suddenly very difficult to be in alone. It's filled with ticking clocks that remind me that he is not calling at his usual time and make me think "What's he doing right now? Is he thinking of me, missing me, regretting his decision?"

 

It's hard to get through the day. I'm grateful not to have an addictive habit like smoking because I'd really be in trouble now if I did. Mostly, I just sit at home in sweats and a sweatshirt crying and calling my mother. Free cell phone minutes are a blessing.

 

I guess part of my big problem is the total injustice of it all. In an attempt to convince himself that he felt those "love" feelings for me, my ex told me he loved me and took me home from the holidays. Both of those things are big time indicators of some kind of committment in my book. And yet, he never had those feelings for me apparently. His saying "I love you" to me gave me permission to feel that way about him. Up until he said it first, I was holding back on feeling that way about him and then when he said it, it was like "You can feel this way now, it's ok." And he ends up screwing me. Man, this sucks big time.

 

I sit here praying/waiting for the phone to ring, hoping he will change his mind and realize he'd be a fool to lose me. But instead, all I hear is the silence.

 

Day 2...trying to make it through.

[Rooster1616]

I was very touched by your letters. I now sit in tears thinking about my own breakup only 3 days ago. I still live with her, and she wants to continue to live together, etc..we even still share a bank account. She said some similar things as your ex did..she does not know why she is unhappy, needs to find herself, etc..right now she still shows signs of wanting to get back together for the future. but somehow, i have to move on and do it without her. I admire your courage and i want to thank you for telling your story. Like most, I still want to hear those words of i want to be with you, you are the love of my life..and in some ways she does tell me that, but that right now we are not good for eachother. but it is not fair for me to wait, and she agrees. but in some small way, i still hope..good luck and i am routing for you!

[grieving]

Hi all,

 

I just wanted to say that maybe in the beginning, when your lover first leaves you, things need to be seen in black and white - the shock of someone you trust abandoning you completely is awful. We say how awful they are, how terrible our lives are without them, and how we must walk away, preserving our selves, without looking back.

 

But I don't know anymore, how black and white things really are. The lovers who left us are human too, you know? And I guess for me, having sustained some awful personal losses, losing yet another important human being was just much more horrible to contemplate than the possibility of not moving on.

 

So I've kept in touch with him, partially out of fear of sustaining the grief of another loss and partially out of the hope that he'll come back. Denying that the hope is there has been more difficult than saying a complete goodbye. Perhaps such closure will come when he or I meets someone else - I don't know.

 

In some ways, I envy people like you, SF Mike, who are able to make the closure for themselves. I'm sort of reconciling myself to obtaining it passively, for the winds of time to compel or force me to forget.

 

These are random ruminations. I'm not sure if any of you others feel this way, that sometimes it is easier and maybe even bette, to exist in an undefinable middle when the circumstances themselves are uncertain too.

 

Love,

 

Grieving

[SF_mike]

Good luck Rooster. Sounds like a difficult situation especially with the living situation. At least she shows signs of wanting to get back together in the future. Hope you two can somehow work through this.

 

grieving, you make some really great points. So many things seem uncertain to me (the circumstances of what happened & potential outcomes). Believe me I hate no contact and I know that my ex misses me and numerous aspects of our relationship...because we "get" each other so well...This was the first time in my life I'd made such a connection with someone, and I miss so many things about her and the bazillion things we shared. I think I was in denial for a long time (assumed it would blow over) and tried minimal contact early on...I just found I couldn't do it because I wasn't feeling better and was actually feeling worse & worse. I'm not mad at her for doing what she did (following her instincts), just disappointed...and even though I got some sort of closure last month I'm still confused and second guessing myself & her reasons. I guess all we can do is take care of ourselves, get better somehow and try to learn from our experiences.

 

Take care.

 

-Mike

[disEnchantid]

I can totally empathize with you mike. My ex-boyfriend of only about four months or so recently broke things off and completely devastated me. He was the first person I really felt as though I connected with and just had everything in common with, i really felt like he was it, like I was done looking. It was so hard to find out that he didn't feel the same way and he blamed a lot of it on me because I had been emotionally distant in the beginning due to having just broken up with a boyfriend of two years. It seemed as though just when I had gotten to the point where I was fully separated from the other guy and completely devoted to this one, he called it quits. He insisted on no contact, and our "stuff exchange" ended with me asking for at least a hug goodbye which he gave me (a really long one) and me telling him that I loved him...but of course it meant that it was that much harder to be angry at him and instead has left me constantly wondering if I had just done something more, said something else, that day if I could have got him back. I think the hardest part is accepting that no matter how hard you try or want it, sometimes there is no way to make that person see things the way you do, and that maybe that means you just don't communicate on the same wavelength. Sorry for rambling somewhat, I am new to this site and just so relieved to see that I am not the only one who suffers so much after someone I love breaks up with me.

[Cougar]

Disenchanted,

 

I'm sorry you're going through this pain. I have no words for the pain I am suffering right now. I am so depressed I can't eat or sleep. I feel physically ill. I can't believe another person could make me feel so hurt, so pained, so bad. I fell in love with him and now I am suffering for it. My ex is also the first person I really feel as if I have a connection with and have so much in common with. It is hard to find out he doesn't feel the same way about me. That's one of the toughest things to deal with right now - that I love him so much and he doesn't return that love.

[disEnchantid]

I really feel for you Cougar, when this guy broke up with me I literally did not eat for over a week. I went into work with my skirts and pants practically falling off of me because I dropped so much weight! I would try to have some soup or something small but it was a struggle to force it down. I found that during the time what helped the most and the best was finding some way to laugh. I would surf through the channels on TV until a show that I found even mildly amusing came on and every time I laughed I felt a little better and calmer. I went to the pharmacy and bought an over-the-counter sleep aid so that I could have the benefit of a good night's rest.

 

Know that I was totally and completely in the place you are in right now, and that even though I am still suffering inside, the pain is nowhere near as acute as it was three weeks ago when I saw and spoke to him for the last time. Like you, I feel as though he deeply betrayed my trust by convincing me it was safe to love and trust him and then breaking it off after such a short time (and not in a very sensitive way). I felt (and feel) as though he really did not give me a fair chance. My biggest fear has been that I will not meet anyone who I connect with in the same way again or have as much in common with, but in talking to people and reading books and all the postings and articles on this site I am finally starting to believe that there is never just one "soulmate" for a person, and that he is not the only person with those qualities that I seek.

 

I wish you the best in this heartwrenching time, and hope that my experiences might be of some help or comfort to you in knowing that things will start to get better and you are absolutely not alone in your pain. The best advice I can offer right now is to find a way to laugh or smile because humor really does have amazing healing powers.

[luxe_13]

Wow.

Hi guys. I have been following this thread the whole way through. I really feel for all of you cause I am going through the same thing. I especially could relate to your story Cougar. The same thing happened to me. My boyfriend broke up with me, we got back together a month later and everything was perfect, I was so happy.

 

A few weeks down the track it all went pear shaped.I knew his love just wasn't there the way it used to be. I started to get over sensitive and paranoid about everything..cause I just knew things weren't the same even though I so wanted them to be. Anyway 2 months later he broke up with me again. I knew it was coming but I was in denial. I still am...

It's been close to 3 months since the final breakup. He is seeing someone new...he says it's just casual..but who knows.

 

I still think about him everyday. What we had was so intense and special. We went though so much together. I can't understand how he could have moved on so quickly. He was always the one to say that i was the girl he wanted to marry, that he had never met anyone like me, that I was the best thing that had ever happened to him.

I don't know what went wrong. I never did anything to hurt him.

 

I am really trying to move on from this, but it is so hard. I have been going out, trying to have fun. Everything reminds me of him. I can't listen to any of my music anymore cause it brings too much pain.

 

I just keep thinking that any moment he will call and everything will be ok again.

 

Sorry that was so long! I just had to get it out.

 

Luxe x

[SF_mike]

hi luxe & disEnchantid,

 

Thanks for sharing your stories...They're all starting to sound so familiar in certain aspects that it's kinda eerie...Seems like so many of us are dealing with pretty much the same thing....a change of heart by our partners. Sometimes the reasons they give us are clear & sometimes they don't make sense...and then there are quite a few people here who never got any sort of answers or closure from their ex. Wish it was easier for everyone.

 

-Mike

[disEnchantid]

Hi SF_mike,

I'm actually not that surprised that we all seem to have had similar experiences, it seems as though the pain of a break up is always the worst when it comes unexpectedly. One of the books I have read suggests that the reason it often appears as though the person initiating the break up is walking away so easily is because they have usually known for longer that it was coming, and have had more time to deal with the emotions and will probably wait until they feel comfortable enough with the idea of seperation to break things off. Of course, that does not make it any easier on the person being broken up with, but it does suggest that perhaps our loved ones were not as unscathed by the break up as they appear.

 

When I talked to my ex a few times right afterwards, he was often initially very hostile towards me, and then would warm up and just seem sad and defeated. Though this seemed to be very Dr. Jekyll & Mr. Hyde, I think that the hostility was his way of trying to keep me at a distance to protect himself, and not truly anger. It seemed to show that he was still struggling inwardly with his feelings about me, but knew in his mind that he didn't want to be in the relationship anymore. By insisting that there be no more communication between us after we exchanged the last of our things, he was preventing himself from the temptation of giving into those feelings against what he felt was his better judgement.

 

I guess my point is that the decision of our partners to walk away most likely was not as easy on them as we may think it was, and we should take whatever comfort we can from knowing that we are not as disposable as we may think. I think this is especially apparent in those cases where people talked about how the other person seemed to be unable to make up their mind or went back and forth a few times before finally cutting it off completely.

[emptiness]

wow, despite still feeling sad, i think i feel a touch less lonely reading all of these.

 

my most perfect partner in the world has told me that he doesn't see a future with me, even though he really wishes that he did. He claims that despite how much fun we have together, and how much we mean to each other, that he just doesn't have "that" feeling. He's not had "that" feeling for 1 year of our 2 year relationship, however I didn't have a single clue since for me he had been perfect and we had had the time of our lives - which he also admits.

 

I just can't imagine my life without him. All of a sudden I've gone from being content and relaxed, and excited about my future to having to deal with life day by day, minute by minute.. and with a feeling of hopelessness.

 

I guess reading everyone else's posts has made me realise that this happens - its not just my world thats falling apart. My friends have been a great support and keep reminding me to focus on myself and not him.

 

Good luck to you all out there. and thanks for sharing your experiences, they have really helped me.

[jd21]

I understand how all of you are feeling. Even though it's been 3 months, I still get days when I'm so depressed and down. One day I feel like I'm fine and I could do this. The next, either something will happen that will remind me of my ex or the feelings could just come out of nowhere. I miss him terribly all of a sudden and feel like I'm back at square one. I know I am not though and that I am making progress. I think back to the first month and I could cry just thinking about how badly I felt. I didn't eat, sleep. I was miserable. I promised myself that I would never let myself feel that way again. Even 3 months later, he is still always on my mind. Everything I see reminds me of him and us and I can't help but think of all the good memories we had. I can't help asking myself how he could give up on what we had so easily. In the 3 years we were together, we shared so much. How can he just move on so quickly? I heard that he might be with someone new. When I found out, it felt almost as bad as when he told me he wanted to break up. It was just a wake up call that he has moved on and that I have to as well. I have a strong feeling this is a rebound relationship but it hurts to think of him with someone else. It's the most painful thing imagining the person you love so much with someone else. I have to keep thinking that if it's meant to be, it'll be. I know that we will all realize the reason for all of this one day and be that much stronger.

[Cougar]

Emptiness,

 

I'm so sorry this has happened to you. I feel for you. Having your partner tell you they just don't have "that feeling" anymore (or never did) is so devestating.

 

It's day 6 for me now since the breakup. There's been no contact between us and I am now getting to a point where I feel like I want to talk with him to be sure this is what he wants so that I can go ahead and move on for good. If this is in fact what he is sure he wants to do as oppossed to working on it, I think it may help me to hear that from him so that I can go ahead and stop hoping. That's really a big part of it - the hoping. I've decided that if I don't hear from him by Friday (that will be a week since the breakup), I will go ahead and call him just so I can be sure this is what he wants. I hope it's not what he wants now that he's had time to think on it, but if it is, I will deal with it and go on. I have to.

[emptiness]

After our first talk, my bf said he really did want to try and make it work, that he couldn't promise anything, because he had been trying, but that he would try.

 

Later conversations have been more angled toward that he'll do what ever I ask him, but I have should be aware that theres basically zero chance of anything changing, and hints that perhaps its not worth it.

 

Maybe if he would just come out and say "its over" I could deal with it but all he's said is there is no chance of a future, and discuss what happens when we break up. We both moved to a new town at the same time, and have the same circle of friends. However we agree that we will need to have a "no contact" rule... I don't know how that is going to work.

 

I have made some analyses of our relationship now myself, and from talks with good friends who like us both and know us equally as well, and know myself now that we should break up, but for different reasons that he thinks.

 

I dont know if any of this makes any sense! Sometimes I think writing this is for my own benefit rather than others, but if it helps anyone,great!

[Cougar]

I spoke with my ex last night for an hour to see if we could work it out. We can't. He was finally honest with me and told me that he just wasn't in love with me and never could be. It was hard to hear. I tried to get him to think about some things, but in the end, I have to accept that he doesn't love me.

 

It's a blessing in disguise. I will find someone who will love me the way I love them. I deserve that. I'm licking my wounds right now though so I can't even think about moving on, but I know something wonderful is out there for me and that thought does keep me up every once in awhile during these down days. Also, something my dear friend told me helps: there is no such thing as perpetual motion. Everything comes to an end and so too will this pain.

 

I wish you all the best of luck in moving on and dealing with the hurt. It's not easy.

[SF_mike]

Hi again...hope everyone is doing ok.

 

I've had a real down day and find myself venting here again...

 

Anyways, she called me last week...we hadn't spoken in a month or so...I'd been a 'poster boy' for no contact. It was her first day back from Xmas vacation & she got laid off upon returning to work. Not a great way to start off the new year. We spoke for 5 min or so and to be honest it felt very friendly. I still miss her & think about her but I was finally strong for a change on the phone...someone who cared about her that she could turn to when she needed to talk. I just listened and didn't talk about us, or ask her personal questions...just was 'there' for her. I just find it hard to turn my back on someone I once loved so much & who I had this amazing connection with. Anyhow, we traded a few emails back/forth in the days that followed...just small talk...catching up...Deep down in my heart I think I will always love her, continue to question what happened and wish for a miracle re-connection with her. I've noticed a lot of people on this board often have these lingering feelings that don't seem to vanish.

 

But...

 

My head tells me otherwise and my nose has been to the grindstone (making myself #1 and taking care of me). I've more/less accepted this loss and I'm in a better place than I was a couple months ago.

 

To make a long story short I was surfing a local personals site for shits/grins during lunchtime at work today and saw a post from her looking to meet someone new. It's just a sill text site (no pics are posted) that's real popular here in the Bay Area. The post referenced a song we liked and within 2 seconds of reading it I knew it was her. Needless to say I've been crushed all day. All the feelings I've seemingly buried seem to be back in full force tonight. Reading it brought back so many memories of what I previously had in my life and what I've lost...just such a crushing blow to my ego and all the "WHY?" questions I had regarding our breakup and swirling in my head again. Probably against my better judgement & before I could mellow out I sent her a quick note about seeing it...the note was sincere and nothing crazy on my part. Just letting her know I saw it and that it stirred up some feelings in me. Frankly what she does now really isn't my business anymore...this seems like the equivalent of running into your ex with someone 'new' (something I also dread). Just feeling blue tonight but I know I'll bounce back quicker than normal. Setbacks still seem to happen but I find myself feeling better sooner than before. Maybe this is the disguised 'kick in the ass' that I need to make me desire meeting someone new again.

 

Enough ranting for tonight.

 

Goodnight & take care.

 

Mike

[Cougar]

Mike,

 

I can understand how you'd feel crushed seeing her ad on the personals site. I'm guessing it makes you feel like she's really moving on and any lingering hope you might have had for getting back together is dashed. That's hard and I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy.

 

I know how you feel - my ex put his profile back on the dating site where we met pretty quickly. It's tough to take. I guess part of it for me is that here I am feeling so sorrowful, missing him so and he's so easily able to get back on his feet and think about finding someone else. It's depressing. So I know how you feel.

[Cougar]

Hi Everyone,

 

Just wondering how everyone is doing. It's been almost three weeks for me since the breakup and almost two weeks since last contact. I'm up and down, but the stabbing pain has gone away. Now, it's more of a looking forward to the future thing. I'm trying to heal my heart, remember that this is not the last man I will ever love, remember what he did to me that was so egregious and thus move on. It's working except for the usual backslides. But...I am moving on. I can see progress each day.

 

How is everyone else doing?

[bdub]

Cougar,

 

Great to hear you are feeling better day by day. I know its a long, slow, painful process. But you will get through it and be better for having been there. I know that may be hard to see, but its always good to look back, just enough to think about the accomplishments you've made.

 

I have had a bit of a rough weekend. I saw some mutual friends this weekend and that was great. But of course it brought back memories of times when we were together. One of my friends was out with my ex recently and witnessed her hitting on other guys. From the looks of things, she has been trying really hard to find somebody to replace me, but has had no luck that I know of. The friend said she was getting rejected over and over that night and finally got fed up with the guy she was hitting on and got angry with him. It brings a little grin to my face, but I don't wish her any misfortune. I guess she'll never know how well I treated her until she is with somebody else.

 

Its a little disorienting. She was the one that broke up with me. Out of the blue, for no real reason that she ever told me about. And yet she is the one who is avoiding me. I have been on the no contact rule for about 3 months now, with no contact initiated by her, other than her emails to a group mailing list that we both belong to. I guess what bothers me most is that I assume something I have done really hurt her, but she never told me what it was. And now because of that pain, she is avoiding me. Not that it really truly bothers me anymore, just I wish I knew what caused the problem in the first place so I can avoid it in the future with other relationships.

 

Anyway, best of luck to all who keep updates on this thread. Keep your heads up.

 

Best Wishes,

bdub

[Cougar]

and got angry with him. It brings a little grin to my face, but I don't wish her any misfortune. I guess she'll never know how well I treated her until she is with somebody else.

 

I tend to think that way about my ex as well. I wonder if he will realize what a good deal he had with me once he's been out with a couple of other women. No one will treat him as well as I did, I can guarentee that. But some people subconsciously like to be treated poorly. They cannot handle mature relationships. That requires too much of them. You have to work at mature relationships, but the reward is absolutely worthwhile. Some people just hip hop from relationship to relationship getting that initial high from the beginning, but then they can't handle it moving into real love.

 

that it really truly bothers me anymore, just I wish I knew what caused the problem in the first place so I can avoid it in the future with other relationships.

 

Wow! You know, the one thing that should be required in a relationship is an explanation of some sort, even if it's only "I'm just not sure this is what I need." At least then you can discuss it or have some clue, some idea. People just walking out with no reason is so wrong. You have to think that is a major way to build bad karma in life. I believe what goes around comes around. That keeps me afloat when I think of the grevious injuries I and others have had to endure because of people who cannot, for whatever reason, handle a relationship.

 

In any case, there's nothing for us to do but support each other and move on. I thank God, literally, for good friends and the support I gain from message boards like this. It does indeed help to know we are not alone.