Rooster1616

Hi..I am stuck between a rock and a hard place and could use some good neutral advice.. I am currently dating someone for about 2 months..we totally get along great...i adore her..she is good to me...etc...however, an ex who i was totally in love with, who wasn't ready for the feelings she had for me has suddenly reappeared..she is now saying i am ready..i want a relationship..etc... i don't know what to do..i want them both..but i know that can't happen..i need to choose..but i can't seem to...they both get to me in different ways..and i connect with them both in very different ways...with the current gf i see a steady, loving, caring relationship and i love that..i love being with her..and the sex is great....with the ex i see passion, excitement, yet i don't feel as secure..but gosh how i have waited for her to say she loves me...but we have never had sex.so obviously the curiosity is there for me..BIG TIME!! i could see myself with both of them..but in two totally different relationships..i just don't know which one i want.. any advice..i am completely confused.. or anyone been in a similar situation thank you very much for all your help..

Hang in there! I am sorry for your heartbreak...Sadly enough I think everyone on this site has been there! I remember getting over the break up with my ex was the hardest thing I ever had to do..I was waiting for the day she would say i love you and i do see us ending up together..Well in the mean time i found someone who has changed my life..and in the mean time as well, i have found things out about myself I would have never known! you will too! this is not the end, but the beginning of something new and better! i know it doesn't feel like that now, but it will..dont get me wrong, it will take time! but your hurt will heal! and actually my ex did come back and say everything i had been hoping for..yet i didn't feel the same back.yes i loved her, but realized for myself that she was not the one for me..and i was not the one for her..and i have since met someone who i do see myself spending my life with..you will love again! you will have passion again! just hang in there!

Hi There.. I totally understand where you are coming from..I have recently wondered If I am a bad person as well..My girlfriend and I broke up about a month ago and I have since been away from her for bits and pieces and I don't miss her when I am gone. She is the one who ended it and i too wonder if i was hurt because of not having her in my life, or because my ego was hurt. Along with you am I over it, no, but would I want to deal with her issues again, no. So i don't think that you are a bad person and i am SO HAPPY that I have read your post. It describes how i am feeling exactly and provides comfort that I am not the only one!

Dear Avman and Other Members, The advice is awesome..I have yet to complete all the stages but I am in the process of healing. Thank you Avman for all the individual advice and support. It has made going thru this a bit better. However, Thank you all again for the advice and I will keep you posted on the healing process. thanks

I was very touched by your letters. I now sit in tears thinking about my own breakup only 3 days ago. I still live with her, and she wants to continue to live together, etc..we even still share a bank account. She said some similar things as your ex did..she does not know why she is unhappy, needs to find herself, etc..right now she still shows signs of wanting to get back together for the future. but somehow, i have to move on and do it without her. I admire your courage and i want to thank you for telling your story. Like most, I still want to hear those words of i want to be with you, you are the love of my life..and in some ways she does tell me that, but that right now we are not good for eachother. but it is not fair for me to wait, and she agrees. but in some small way, i still hope..good luck and i am routing for you!

Hi. I know how you feel. Recently my gf and I broke up because she needed room to grow and learn about herself. We were together for over a year and a half, her mom kicked her out when she found out she was with a woman, and bam we moved intogether. We had been dating for 2 weeks. Like you, we worked together lived together, did everything together. Now we have moved away, and lived here for a year and she needs to find who she is and learn about herself. She says she does not want anyone else, just to find out who she is. I think it can work a second time for you. She just needs some time to learn for herself too, but it is obvious you two really love eachother. And the one thing with true love, is when you set it free and it comes back to you, then it was yours to begin with. I think you should give her a chance. If you don't risk love, then you will never know, and always go on wondering. p.s. any advice for me? she still wants to sleep in the same bed with me, and live together. oh and even that she loves me . hope the advice helped, and good luck with it!

I know how you are feeling. I was in a similar situation just over a year ago. Although I did act on my feelings I should have drawn a line, because you are only hurting yourself. She is in a tough spot too. She prolbably does mean it when she says she wants to be with you, and has no feelings for hiim, but she can't break the feeling of guilt by breaking someone's heart, and needs to do it in her own time. However, if she intends on being with you maybe you two need to sit down and just tell her that you need to know that she is going to end it by a certain time. I know pressure is not fair sometimes, but you have to be fair to yourself first. I hope this has helped and Good luck..

Recently my gf of a year and a half broke up with me citing she was not in love with me, and that she needs time to work on herself. She had to give up everything to move out here with me. However, she still wants to be best friends, roommates, and we still talk on everyday from work. She sends mixed signals. We have decided to take this week apart her going to be with her family, I with my best friend from college. She didn't want me to get on my plane, and told me to kiss lots of girls. However, the next words out of her mouth were "be good". She kissed me on the forehead for a few seconds and watched me go thru the security check point. Now i haven't talked to her since. I want her to be the one who calls. I even went out last night and saw an ex who wants to hang out and a new chick who wants to get together, but they are not her. I hate saying that, but that is truly what I was thinking. I want her to miss me this week, and I want to get back together. But in the meantime, am I reading too much into her actions? Or is there hope? I am lost.. I would appreciate any advice .. thanks