Is there a new kind of player besides the common defintion?

[tylercdurden2004]

Through communication, of course. Between that and the setting of healthy boundaries, to use your own words, a proper balance amenable to both parties can easily be achieved.

 

Sounds good to me.

[tylercdurden2004]

You know, I hadn't heard about this "Mystery" fellow until I read about him online and he got his reality television show. (I don't have a television.) He seems to be all the rage, so I looked at some YouTube clips.

 

I don't see what the fuss is about -- these are time-tested "strategies" he markets. You can find books on it. It's nothing new.

 

"Act like you're not interested..." blah blah blah. Nothing new. (Yes, I know I haven't watched the show, but I could gather what he was doing very quickly!)

 

And Alyson Hannigan is gorgeous, no denying that, lol!

 

Are you suggesting this is as old as the hills?

 

Your right. I hadnt seen Mr Mystery until recently and I dont think they show the television show over here. I think its good that men have options of where to look when seeking advice. I am all about options.

 

Ultimately it comes down to each individual man to decide what he want, needs in life and how he will go about getting it. Sometimes you need to try a variety of things in life and take "many buses" to get to your destination.

[Daddy Bear]

RedPenguin seems like a decent guy, though. And I'm pleased to hear that he's popular with the fairer sex. I wish I was him, lol.

Good on you for not hating.

[RedPenguin]

It's annoying, when a woman is flirting with me and another guy will tell me, I'm "pimpin", when really I'm just flirting. I'm not going to treat her like I'm her pimp or something.

 

F*** is a weird word to, it's weird how we say go get f***ed, when we are mad, when sex is not made to be a bad thing to begin with.

 

I just wish, I was good with girls, and more girls were single. It sucks being good with girls when they all have boyfriends. Recently, I met a girl, who I so would love to have been with, and yet she had a boyfriend, but I think she still did like me, which makes it suck even more, cause if she never liked me to begin with, I could be like, oh who cares, but knowing she probably would have given me a chance if she would have been single, makes it suck a tad more.

 

I always go for the shyer, loving girls, who like Animals and stuff like that, but I swear these girls always seem to be taken. LoL. Only weird thing is, it seems to hard to be good with boy guys and girls.

 

It's always like the guys that are great with ladies, aren't great with guys, and those great with guys aren't great with women. It's like hard to be great with both for some reason. Maybe it's jealousy or something, who knows.

[Tethys]

Are you suggesting this is as old as the hills?

 

Yep.

 

Your right. I hadnt seen Mr Mystery until recently and I dont think they show the television show over here. I think its good that men have options of where to look when seeking advice. I am all about options.

 

What do you mean by options?

 

Ultimately it comes down to each individual man to decide what he want, needs in life and how he will go about getting it. Sometimes you need to try a variety of things in life and take "many buses" to get to your destination.

 

I agree completely. I personally would never consider a relationship with a man who had not explored "options" or, ie, sowed his wild oats and [insert euphemisms here].

[tylercdurden2004]

Ah man you are doing fine. In fact great I think. Like Ken said you seem to be an upstanding guy plus you have your poop together at 19. Not many men out there like you. Pat yourself on the back for that and never stop learning. Its the key to happiness I believe.

 

and dont let jealousy cloud your vision. It will only make you hardened and bitter.

[Raiden]

Good on you for not hating.

 

Wait, wait, wait... By saying "I wish I was him", I merely meant that he has a lot going for him by being good with the girls. And, good for him I say.

 

No resentment.

[tylercdurden2004]

Yep.

 

 

 

What do you mean by options?

 

 

 

I agree completely. I personally would never consider a relationship with a man who had not explored "options" or, ie, sowed his wild oats and [insert euphemisms here].

 

 

options with anything. Job prospects, buying a car, etc

 

in this case I was referring to options in terms of advice or learning options.

[Tethys]

options with anything. Job prospects, buying a car, etc

 

in this case I was referring to options in terms of advice or learning options.

 

Sure you were...

[tylercdurden2004]

Sure you were...

 

Sure I was.

[Tethys]

Ohhh, does that mean we can threadjack and talk about work and job options now??

[Daddy Bear]

It's always like the guys that are great with ladies, aren't great with guys, and those great with guys aren't great with women. It's like hard to be great with both for some reason. Maybe it's jealousy or something, who knows.

Speaking as a veterano, I think this may be more true among the younger set, at least the jealousy part. As time goes on, those who prove themselves to be chronically petty tend to get weeded out of social circles and into isolation, leaving a core of friends who are more tolerant of each other's successes.

[Raiden]

It's annoying, when a woman is flirting with me and another guy will tell me, I'm "pimpin", when really I'm just flirting. I'm not going to treat her like I'm her pimp or something.

 

Then they're probably jealous.

 

I always go for the shyer, loving girls, who like Animals and stuff like that, but I swear these girls always seem to be taken. LoL.

 

Keep trying. You'll find her.

 

I just wish, I was good with girls, and more girls were single. It sucks being good with girls when they all have boyfriends. Recently, I met a girl, who I so would love to have been with, and yet she had a boyfriend, but I think she still did like me, which makes it suck even more, cause if she never liked me to begin with, I could be like, oh who cares, but knowing she probably would have given me a chance if she would have been single, makes it suck a tad more.Only weird thing is, it seems to hard to be good with boy guys and girls.

 

It's always like the guys that are great with ladies, aren't great with guys, and those great with guys aren't great with women. It's like hard to be great with both for some reason. Maybe it's jealousy or something, who knows.

 

It wouldn't bother me if I lacked skills in communication with guys if I was a hit with the ladies. Not at all. And no, this has nothing to do with the proverbial Player-ism. It would just be... a very comfortable place to be, for me.

[Daddy Bear]

Wait, wait, wait... By saying "I wish I was him", I merely meant that he has a lot going for him by being good with the girls. And, good for him I say.

 

No resentment.

I don't understand what potential misconception you sought to avoid with this post.

[Raiden]

I don't understand what potential misconception you sought to avoid with this post.

 

Oops, I misunderstood your comment it seems. Apologies.

[tylercdurden2004]

Ohhh, does that mean we can threadjack and talk about work and job options now??

 

No we cant do that. Maybe in a PM. But my post was about options in leanring tools and options of opinions so I am safe. dont know about you though.

[itsallgrand]

Behold the enotalone testlab.

 

This place is addictive, it's so entertaining....

[RedPenguin]

If it's so acceptable to have many women around you, why do so many people act like it's so wrong?

 

I mean, being 19, my brain, is like a caveman, basically saying, the more the maryer, not, I better only stick to one and that's it.

 

Like they say don't go for looks, go for personality only.

 

Yes, I go for personality, but I can't just ignore a cute girl, and so many guys act like it's wrong if a girl is hot and has a personality you like, it's like guys still say you only went for her looks.

 

I guess it all boils down to a lot of jealously or something. I can't help it, if I see a cute girl all siting by herself, and no one paying attention to her, and she looks like she needs someone to pay attention to her, my brain goes, go get her big boy, you can do it. That's why I can't understand why so many single guys just ignore women, it's like something in my mind, says, don't ignore her, do your job.

 

I know that may sound funny, like getting women is a job or something, but it's like, at 19, it's like, my or maybe many brains that age, go college, woman, woman, woman, college, work, woman, woman, woman.

 

It's like my one friend who always makes fun of me because I have "women on my mind all the time", and I don't understand him. He's 20. I would think he would understand that men around that age probably all have women on their minds all the time. Even his parents are like that, I kept looking at this cute girl, who appeared to have a cool personality, and his mother said, all I do is look at the women. LoL. Isn't that what 19 old guys do?

 

Am I wrong here? LoL. I always hear college guys go nuts over girls, yet, I'm finding many that are like, it's a cute girl, just ignore her, LoL.

 

I think the guys I know would be happier if I just did that. If I just saw a cute girl and said, she's cute, I must ignore her, because it's funny, they have more to say when I pay attention to her then when I don't. I swear, I gotta tell those guys, "How can you at 20 ignore women completely? They have so many different things, physical and mental, that just drives you wild, and you can just ignore all that." Especially when a cute girl flirts with you, acting like you drive her nuts, how can you ignore that, it's like, you now have a really fine girl under your paws, and to me and I assume other guys, it's like a dream come true or something LoL. Especially when they throw their bodies at you like, "Hey I know you want this".

 

That part I really don't know how other guys can ignore it, I mean I love it when a cute girl, literally throws herself at me like, big boy, I know you want what I got, and some even are like, come on, get a closer look and will like stay there longer like they are saying, "Go ahead, look longer.". LoL.

 

I brought up a post a while back about women wanting you to look at them, and it's funny, it's like sometimes they literally do. One time, two really cute girls got on a local bus I was on, and I was like, damn, LoL. I started looking them up and down, and I was like, damn, I better be careful before I get them mad by only thinking I want sex, and the one I was looking at mostly, gave me a huge smile and they both started giggling, it's like they loved me looking their bodies over, and didn't slap me, like you hear many guys say, don't do that, she will slap you, LoL.

 

Who doesn't want a really fine girl who thinks they are everything, and is like Alice on The Honeymooners?

[Luke Skywalker]

You know what I think....I think people develop perjorative terms and definations of people they are jealous about and cry sour grapes and that in turn hurts them further because they also become an obsticle to their own goals.

 

Take this analogy for example, to a middle-class or low income earner, may look in digust at someone making more money than him, driving better cars or having more material goals, and then say certain things about how he got his money, or start making some sort of accusations that he didn't pay his taxes or lied, cheated and manipulated people to get rich, heck maybe he's involved in the mob.....all sorts of things to make them feel better about their lot in life. The result, is that you view money and riches as negative, and then subconsciously you close yourself further from that goal.

 

I believe this applies here. A player is a perajorative term for someone who knows and has skill to appeal to women, or has the luxury of exploring his masculinity. I can just as easily look down on people who are good with girls and then say - yeah 'they are probably players', or just think that being good with girls or being a 'ladies man' is a bad thing in itself. But I have come to realize by the above analogy, it's not wrong to be wealthy, it's not wrong to be healthy, and it's not wrong to be in a state where you have flocks of girls after you.

 

In fact, to look down on people and lable people who are a success in life is negative subconscious energy that's toxic. I think the OP second guesses himself with this 'different player' idea as based on the negative connotations out there for people who are successful with women.

 

Thus, I would say, the OP is not a player, he is successful and prospering in the department of women, and should not let any ideology or self-limiting thought hamper his success but go for the gusto. Society needs men like him to be in that state and it's about time someone who is sincere is successful with the ladies...keep it up OP, we are rooting for you.

[RedPenguin]

See that's why I like talking on this forum, they tell you what you want and don't want to hear. I mean it's not sugar coated nor hateful, it's basically almost always the truth.

 

It's hard for me, because many guys, even family are lazier and don't really care for the ladies, and they are all around the same age. So I would think, they would be like, going gaga over women.

 

I have two friends, who were both picked on a lot in High School and never really had any luck with the women, and it shocks me how they can so easily ignore women. I feel like a caveman sometimes, where my mind is going WOM-AN! WOM-AN! WOM-AN!. ME MUST GET WOMAN! LoL, I know it sounds funny, but I swear, that's how it feels like in my mind. If I see a hot girl, smiling, with a tight body, I can't stand there and say, I MUST IGNORE HER!, I DO NOT CARE ABOUT HER BODY! Like they seem to tell you in church. My mind goes, Look, go, look, go, look, get her. LoL.

 

Why do so many guys act like woman don't want guys who will go for them? I get the feeling that many guys think women don't want guys hitting on them? If this is true, why do they get so excited, when I look them up and down, and act like, hey girl, you wanna ride with me?

 

It's like, when I'm tired with some of my friends, and there are some cute girls around, they seem to sit there and do nothing and they are single, my brain goes into overtime, hmmm maybe I will start out getting her to laugh. I even flirt with nurses when I'm in the hopsital. I might be getting an operation or something, but I'm not disabled. LoL.

 

Do we still have caveman in us? Cause like I said, my mind just goes, woman, woman, woman, all day love. I love it and the ladies seem to love it, but guys make me feel like I'm doing something wrong or I worry about girls too much. Is there anything wrong with that? I find it fun to worry about girls?

 

I can't go with the church, only look at their personality only, I mean I believe in God, but I don't think he made woman look like "this" and "that", for us to ignore and treat them like guys. I don't want to treat women like guys, I would think that would be weird, I don't want imagine that I'm having sex with a guy, LoL.

 

Anyway, I'm out of it, I mean out, LoL. HeHe.

 

Also, out of curiosity, what probably makes me so good with woman, anyway? Cause I swear, I'm just being myself, and it seems so easily for me but others say it's so hard.

 

Basically, I'm a guy who is smiling a lot and trys to be silly, but not annoying. And I give women, what I call the look down, where I look like, damn yo, then just look away, like, who cares? I'm curious what I do right, because whatever I do, works. And it's weird sometimes I swear, I can feel what the woman feels, like she can be sitting with a guy who isn't paying attention to her, I just start watching her, and it's like we are talking to each other without talking, like I can feel her wanting attention, and it's like we agree without talking, that other guy is doing it right. Often, I feel like I'm talking to women, without talking. Flirting seems weird like that, it's like you can talk without talking or something.

 

You know I think I have something similar to what gay guys have. Ever notice that gay guys always seem to have tons of women around them? I wonder if, even though I'm straight, if I have many of the same qualities, that makes me attractive, cause I get treated similar to how I've seen many gay guys treated by women, except with me, they know I want them, of course.

[Raiden]

Also, out of curiosity, what probably makes me so good with woman, anyway? Cause I swear, I'm just being myself, and it seems so easily for me but others say it's so hard.

 

You have the 'knack'. And these girls find you attractive.

 

Praise yourself, you're doing a great job. Keep it up.

[Lana0120]

There are certainly varieties of guys who may not be a 'player' in the tradition sense, but who still should come under that heading. The old... compliment you, make you feel like you're everything, contact you all the time, then silence for a week or so, then excuses, sweetness, then by this time you're hooked, then suddenly... more silence, less sweetness and then the derogatory comments start in. A guy who is not necessarily after you for sex, but is a kind of player and an emotional vampire, because he bleeds you dry.

[Raiden]

A guy who is not necessarily after you for sex, but is a kind of player and an emotional vampire, because he bleeds you dry.

 

LOL, don't start confusing things again.

 

A Player is after sex. If you're not after sex then you are not a Player.

 

An aforementioned Emotional Vampire is an entirely different lingo.

[Luke Skywalker]

have two friends, who were both picked on a lot in High School and never really had any luck with the women, and it shocks me how they can so easily ignore women.

 

Why - if they never had any luck with women, then the next solution is just to ignore them, right?

 

Why do so many guys act like woman don't want guys who will go for them? I get the feeling that many guys think women don't want guys hitting on them? If this is true, why do they get so excited, when I look them up and down, and act like, hey girl, you wanna ride with me?

 

Again, if you never have any real luck with women, then you realize most women are attracted to a different type of guy and I really do not appeal to them so why bother trying? How many people want another bad experience being blown off, rejected, dissed, and just resign and give up?

 

Do girls want guys hitting on them? They want guys who they are attracted to hitting on them. If one is not having luck with women, then it seems maybe it follows one is not the type that most women would be interested in, and thus would likely get blown off.

 

It's like, when I'm tired with some of my friends, and there are some cute girls around, they seem to sit there and do nothing and they are single, my brain goes into overtime, hmmm maybe I will start out getting her to laugh. I even flirt with nurses when I'm in the hopsital. I might be getting an operation or something, but I'm not disabled. LoL.

 

That's good that you can flirt and make girls laugh, but your friends, and myself included cant. So, you have some skill, good for you, but for those of us who dont have any clue and cant make a girl laugh if our lives depended on it or cant seduce a girl, then you have to understand the only solution is just to ignore and asexualize.

 

Do we still have caveman in us? Cause like I said, my mind just goes, woman, woman, woman, all day love. I love it and the ladies seem to love it, but guys make me feel like I'm doing something wrong or I worry about girls too much. Is there anything wrong with that? I find it fun to worry about girls?

 

There is nothing wrong with that, if you have some skill, and are able to appeal to women, then good for you.

 

I can't go with the church, only look at their personality only, I mean I believe in God, but I don't think he made woman look like "this" and "that", for us to ignore and treat them like guys. I don't want to treat women like guys, I would think that would be weird, I don't want imagine that I'm having sex with a guy, LoL.

 

Of course, but at least you haven't had bad experiences of women blowing you off in church to sleep with other guys.

 

Anyway, I'm out of it, I mean out, LoL. HeHe.

 

Also, out of curiosity, what probably makes me so good with woman, anyway? Cause I swear, I'm just being myself, and it seems so easily for me but others say it's so hard.

 

Perhaps you are a natural?

 

Basically, I'm a guy who is smiling a lot and trys to be silly, but not annoying. And I give women, what I call the look down, where I look like, damn yo, then just look away, like, who cares? I'm curious what I do right, because whatever I do, works. And it's weird sometimes I swear, I can feel what the woman feels, like she can be sitting with a guy who isn't paying attention to her, I just start watching her, and it's like we are talking to each other without talking, like I can feel her wanting attention, and it's like we agree without talking, that other guy is doing it right. Often, I feel like I'm talking to women, without talking. Flirting seems weird like that, it's like you can talk without talking or something.

 

You know I think I have something similar to what gay guys have. Ever notice that gay guys always seem to have tons of women around them? I wonder if, even though I'm straight, if I have many of the same qualities, that makes me attractive, cause I get treated similar to how I've seen many gay guys treated by women, except with me, they know I want them, of course.

 

Well, why dont you take an inventory of why you are successful with women, and what qualities that you have that your friends dont have and post them here. So far you've mentioned the following:

 

- You dont ignore women (which I and your friends do).

- You smile, put on a jokey front to get women to laugh or feel comfortable.

(which I and your friends dont).

- You dont seem to have no luck with women or one too many bad experiences which I would call ego/confidence-killers - no broken-heart experiences of being in a relationship of any form that didn't work out and collapsed (which I and your friends do).

- You may be a 'natural' unless you recently learned skill. (I'm not a natural, and I guess your friends aren't either).

[Luke Skywalker]

have two friends, who were both picked on a lot in High School and never really had any luck with the women, and it shocks me how they can so easily ignore women.

 

Why - if they never had any luck with women, then the next solution is just to ignore them, right?

 

Why do so many guys act like woman don't want guys who will go for them? I get the feeling that many guys think women don't want guys hitting on them? If this is true, why do they get so excited, when I look them up and down, and act like, hey girl, you wanna ride with me?

 

Again, if you never have any real luck with women, then you realize most women are attracted to a different type of guy and I really do not appeal to them so why bother trying? How many people want another bad experience being blown off, rejected, dissed, and just resign and give up?

 

Do girls want guys hitting on them? They want guys who they are attracted to hitting on them. If one is not having luck with women, then it seems maybe it follows one is not the type that most women would be interested in, and thus would likely get blown off.

 

It's like, when I'm tired with some of my friends, and there are some cute girls around, they seem to sit there and do nothing and they are single, my brain goes into overtime, hmmm maybe I will start out getting her to laugh. I even flirt with nurses when I'm in the hopsital. I might be getting an operation or something, but I'm not disabled. LoL.

 

That's good that you can flirt and make girls laugh, but your friends, and myself included cant. So, you have some skill, good for you, but for those of us who dont have any clue and cant make a girl laugh if our lives depended on it or cant seduce a girl, then you have to understand the only solution is just to ignore and asexualize.

 

Do we still have caveman in us? Cause like I said, my mind just goes, woman, woman, woman, all day love. I love it and the ladies seem to love it, but guys make me feel like I'm doing something wrong or I worry about girls too much. Is there anything wrong with that? I find it fun to worry about girls?

 

There is nothing wrong with that, if you have some skill, and are able to appeal to women, then good for you.

 

I can't go with the church, only look at their personality only, I mean I believe in God, but I don't think he made woman look like "this" and "that", for us to ignore and treat them like guys. I don't want to treat women like guys, I would think that would be weird, I don't want imagine that I'm having sex with a guy, LoL.

 

Of course, but at least you haven't had bad experiences of women blowing you off in church to sleep with other guys.

 

Anyway, I'm out of it, I mean out, LoL. HeHe.

 

Also, out of curiosity, what probably makes me so good with woman, anyway? Cause I swear, I'm just being myself, and it seems so easily for me but others say it's so hard.

 

Perhaps you are a natural?

 

Basically, I'm a guy who is smiling a lot and trys to be silly, but not annoying. And I give women, what I call the look down, where I look like, damn yo, then just look away, like, who cares? I'm curious what I do right, because whatever I do, works. And it's weird sometimes I swear, I can feel what the woman feels, like she can be sitting with a guy who isn't paying attention to her, I just start watching her, and it's like we are talking to each other without talking, like I can feel her wanting attention, and it's like we agree without talking, that other guy is doing it right. Often, I feel like I'm talking to women, without talking. Flirting seems weird like that, it's like you can talk without talking or something.

 

You know I think I have something similar to what gay guys have. Ever notice that gay guys always seem to have tons of women around them? I wonder if, even though I'm straight, if I have many of the same qualities, that makes me attractive, cause I get treated similar to how I've seen many gay guys treated by women, except with me, they know I want them, of course.

 

Well, why dont you take an inventory of why you are successful with women, and what qualities that you have that your friends dont have and post them here. So far you've mentioned the following:

 

- You dont ignore women (which I and your friends do).

- You smile, put on a jokey front to get women to laugh or feel comfortable.

(which I and your friends dont).

- You dont seem to have no luck with women or one too many bad experiences which I would call ego/confidence-killers - no broken-heart experiences of being in a relationship of any form that didn't work out and collapsed (which I and your friends do).

- You may be a 'natural' unless you recently learned skill. (I'm not a natural, and I guess your friends aren't either).

- You dont sit next to your mom in church or are with your mom most of the time (which I am).