Is there a new kind of player besides the common defintion?

[RedPenguin]

Why do some guys never recognize players? I've seen guys literally sitting with a cute girl, and she will be staring at another guy all the time, and the guy with her seems to never notice, LoL.

 

It's like many guys can't even tell who the players really are or something. Unless women normally do a good job of hiding it or something.

 

Also, you are always told don't go for girls with boyfriends, but here is my question, what are guys supposed to do, when girls with boyfriends flirt with them? I know you are to ignore them, but if you tell them, you don't like them, that's lying which I don't think is good, but if you tell them you like them, that can make them go further? So what the heck are you to do in this situation? And why does it feel so good, even when a girl has a bf, to tell her that you like her, if you are to ignore her? Like this one girl had a bf, and even though something made me tell her I liked her, and I felt like a man, and she also didn't mind, just said she's taken, but liked my every word.

[tylercdurden2004]

Yes, I agree, being sensitive all the time, is the thing to do. Like I said, women seem to like it more, when I'm sensitive one minute, then I'm like, who are you? The next.

 

It's like, my best, is in between. They don't seem to like me sensitive all the time or mean all the time.

 

If I had this shvT down when I was you age my man. Good on you.

[tylercdurden2004]

players are creepy.

 

 

Make sure you dont date any.

[Raiden]

Here's your 'Player'

 

image removed

[Daddy Bear]

Words mean different things to different people, I am afraid.

 

This topic is gonna get closed. I guarantee it.

 

You can call an apple an orange, but I'm not going to buy it. A player is a PUA is a manipulator. What OP describes is something else altogether.

 

This thread won't get closed, because people aren't going to launch immature personal attacks on one another.

 

Pretty sure no one has called players or PUA etc "sensitive" but thats just you putting words into peoples mouths as usual.

 

Ken pull your head out.

 

Perhaps I spoke too soon.

 

FYI:

 

See, the second definition, I never really here of, for being a player, but I've seen and know many guys who are sensitive and care about women, and women and I mean tons of women are just drawn to them.

 

So stick that in your mouth, player.

[tylercdurden2004]

Also, you are always told don't go for girls with boyfriends, but here is my question, what are guys supposed to do, when girls with boyfriends flirt with them? I know you are to ignore them, but if you tell them, you don't like them, that's lying which I don't think is good, but if you tell them you like them, that can make them go further? So what the heck are you to do in this situation? And why does it feel so good, even when a girl has a bf, to tell her that you like her, if you are to ignore her? Like this one girl had a bf, and even though something made me tell her I liked her, and I felt like a man, and she also didn't mind, just said she's taken, but liked my every word.

 

I dont like to feed into this kind of thing. Some girls use it as an ego boost which they really should be getting from their BFs or by dating someone else. Plus if they get the both of best worlds whats the incentive to leave an unhappy situation?

[Leonhart]

It will get closed because EVERY topic about PUAs get closed. Mostly due to ultra-PC views around here, I might add.

 

When anyone attempts to moderate those views, they encounter stiff and hostile resistance, needlessly so. I've seen this in numerous topics over the last week or so.

[Daddy Bear]

I'm not PC, Tantalus. I'm real. The day I contemplate resorting to cynical trickery to gain female companionship is the day I hang up the schlong.

[Tethys]

I don't see what the problem is. These people are called "players" because they "play" people -- meaning, they manipulate people -- in this instance, women -- into bed. They lie, deceive, or whatever, to get a woman into bed. That is their modus operandi.

 

This is not the same thing as a man who is good at talking with women, chatting them up, etc. He is a player if he manipulates them, lies to them, just to get them to sleep with him. Makes them think there is more when there will never be more.

 

THAT is a player. Thus the term "player" as in he "played" them which implies deceit.

 

If a guy is good at chatting women up, is upfront about wanting sex and nothing more, and women sleep with him anyway, than he is just good at what he does. I don't know if that means he is a PUA or not, as I don't bother figuring out all these terms these days. But that doesn't make him a "player" as in he didn't deceive them to get them into bed.

 

Hope I am making sense...

[tylercdurden2004]

If a guy is good at chatting women up, is upfront about wanting sex and nothing more, and women sleep with him anyway, than he is just good at what he does. I don't know if that means he is a PUA or not, as I don't bother figuring out all these terms these days. But that doesn't make him a "player" as in he didn't deceive them to get them into bed.

 

Hope I am making sense...

 

What would up front look like?

 

If a guy meets a girl at the bar, the mall, the bus stop, what does upfront look like?

[Daddy Bear]

If a guy is good at chatting women up, is upfront about wanting sex and nothing more, and women sleep with him anyway, than he is just good at what he does. I don't know if that means he is a PUA or not, as I don't bother figuring out all these terms these days. But that doesn't make him a "player" as in he didn't deceive them to get them into bed.

 

I posted a link to a list of commonly-used terms I found on a PUA website the other day, and "Player/PUA" was listed as a single entry. Straight from the horse's mouth.

[Tethys]

What would up front look like?

 

If a guy meets a girl at the bar, the mall, the bus stop, what does upfront look like?

 

He hits on her, she's receptive to sex, and he tells her he is not looking for a relationship or something "more" [ie just sex]. There are multiple ways of putting this.

[tatame22]

Players are those who draw women to them, misleading and deceiving them. Seeing it all as a game to see how many women he can get. When he scores, he keeps them hooked long enough to add to his bevy of ladies he can turn to for a sexual or emotional "pick me up". He keeps the women interested by giving them tidbits of attention and compliments, to keep them wanting more.

 

I still think players are men who act this way.

[Leonhart]

I'm not PC, Tantalus. I'm real. The day I contemplate resorting to cynical trickery to gain female companionship is the day I hang up the schlong.

 

I hung up mine long ago.

 

(And I wasn't referring just to you. It's a common theme among many here.)

[Leonhart]

I posted a link to a list of commonly-used terms I found on a PUA website the other day, and "Player/PUA" was listed as a single entry. Straight from the horse's mouth.

 

Yeah, because most men are PIGS. Men like sex. Men like women. Men like having sex with women. Big surprise.

 

Some will go to extreme lengths to obtain what they seek. Is it up to us to define whether that's "right" or "wrong?" How paltry.

[tylercdurden2004]

He hits on her, she's receptive to sex, and he tells her he is not looking for a relationship or something "more" [ie just sex]. There are multiple ways of putting this.

 

So if she is receptive to having sex with him. He is responsible for her expectation of a relationship?

 

Is there something the woman could do to ensure the man is not just looking to get his rocks off on a one night stand?

 

I mean I hae trouble seeing how a woman who has just recently met a man and decides to sleep with him would be looking for a relationship herself.

 

To me if a woman was looking for a relationship she would be doing things to ensure the base of the relationship was in place before she slept with him.

 

Ultimately I see it as her responsibility if she has just met a man to dictate how she will be treated.

[Tethys]

So if she is receptive to having sex with him. He is responsible for her expectation of a relationship?

 

Is there something the woman could do to ensure the man is not just looking to get his rocks off on a one night stand?

 

I mean I hae trouble seeing how a woman who has just recently met a man and decides to sleep with him would be looking for a relationship herself.

 

To me if a woman was looking for a relationship she would be doing things to ensure the base of the relationship was in place before she slept with him.

 

Ultimately I see it as her responsibility if she has just met a man to dictate how she will be treated.

 

Are we talking about the same things here? No, he is not responsible for her expectation for a relationship. All parties should be clear about what it (the sex act) is about, and everyone is clear on what expectations or no expectations are. That's all.

[Tethys]

BTW, yes this has happened to guy friends of mine, many times. They meet a woman, sleep with her, and she's calling him the next day because she expects something, when THEY thought it was clear it was a ONS.

 

So yes, it happens.

[tylercdurden2004]

BTW, yes this has happened to guy friends of mine, many times. They meet a woman, sleep with her, and she's calling him the next day because she expects something, when THEY thought it was clear it was a ONS.

 

So yes, it happens.

 

I would only suggest the women find a way to get healthy and to stop expecting so much after one day/night of knowing someone.

 

If all women did that then the "players" would have nothing to play with right?

[tylercdurden2004]

Are we talking about the same things here? No, he is not responsible for her expectation for a relationship. All parties should be clear about what it (the sex act) is about, and everyone is clear on what expectations or no expectations are. That's all.

 

So how about the woman says "You know I want a relationship after we sleep together."

 

wouldnt that work to?

 

My guess is the women dont because they know most men would get gone if they wanted a relationship so soon.

 

Whether I had or wanted to have sex with a woman, if she told me she wanted a relationship after one day, one week then I would get gone to.

 

But thats just me and how I work.

[Tethys]

I would only suggest the women find a way to get healthy and to stop expecting so much after one day/night of knowing someone.

 

If all women did that then the "players" would have nothing to play with right?

 

"All women"? I did not say "all women" do this. I just said it happens. There are women out there who simply want ONS.

 

As I stated earlier, I think of players as though who DECEIVE, not men who are on the prowl and it's obvious they are simply on the prowl and women sleep with them knowing that, and they don't expect anything else. If they do come knocking wanting more, the man should not feel guilty about it if he was upfront with them.

[Tethys]

So how about the woman says "You know I want a relationship after we sleep together."

 

wouldnt that work to?

 

My guess is the women dont because they know most men would get gone if they wanted a relationship so soon.

 

Whether I had or wanted to have sex with a woman, if she told me she wanted a relationship after one day, one week then I would get gone to.

 

But thats just me and how I work.

 

Simple -- don't sleep with a woman who says "I want a relationship if we sleep together." That just sounds like trouble.

[tylercdurden2004]

"All women"? I did not say "all women" do this. I just said it happens. There are women out there who simply want ONS.

 

As I stated earlier, I think of players as though who DECEIVE, not men who are on the prowl and it's obvious they are simply on the prowl and women sleep with them knowing that, and they don't expect anything else. If they do come knocking wanting more, the man should not feel guilty about it if he was upfront with them.

 

I was referring in the first instance of "women" to your friends encounters. You referred to multiple friends.

 

In the second I was referring to "all women" as in if some women who sleep with men on the first time they meet and expected something more, joined the other women who didnt then the dreaded player would have nothing to play.

 

No what you said is that men should be upfront with women when they first meet them and say "I dont want a relationship". You have put the honus on men when really it lies with both parties. Especially the party who has the most to lose. That is the one expecting more.

 

I dont think many men would feel guilty. Not healthy ones anyways. They would see it for what it was. Two people having an encounter who agreed to that encounter.

[tylercdurden2004]

Simple -- don't sleep with a woman who says "I want a relationship if we sleep together." That just sounds like trouble.

 

 

I think thats what I said.

[Daddy Bear]

I hung up mine long ago.

 

(And I wasn't referring just to you. It's a common theme among many here.)

 

Oh, I won't pretend that there isn't a strong PC faction here. I was only answering for myself.

 

Yeah, because most men are PIGS. Men like sex. Men like women. Men like having sex with women. Big surprise.

 

Some will go to extreme lengths to obtain what they seek. Is it up to us to define whether that's "right" or "wrong?" How paltry.

 

Speaking again for myself: I am not the keeper of the morality yardstick, and I don't do "right" vs. "wrong." I only do "I think that's cool" vs. "I think that's lame."